


Introduction to Romance

by SkyeBean



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Abed Nadir, Bisexual Jeff Winger, Canon Autistic Character, M/M, lesbian Annie Edison, very very minor Annie/Rachel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 68,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27313198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyeBean/pseuds/SkyeBean
Summary: Jeff finds out that Abed is bisexual in 'Home Economics' while he's staying there. This story is snippets set across and around the episodes, showing their developing relationship.
Relationships: Abed Nadir/Jeff Winger, Annie Edison & Abed Nadir, Annie Edison & Jeff Winger, Britta Perry & Jeff Winger, Shirley Bennett & Jeff Winger, Troy Barnes & Abed Nadir, Troy Barnes & Jeff Winger
Comments: 38
Kudos: 108





	1. Season 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first Community fanfic, so I hope it isn't too OOC.  
> I, myself, am not autistic nor do I know anyone who is, so if I write the parts about that badly, please tell me and point me in the direction of a helpful resource - I didn't really know where to look.

Home Economics

On the first day in Abed’s dorm, the girl who lived opposite asked if Jeff if he was Abed’s boyfriend while the man had gone to the bathroom. After his hurried denial, the girl had expressed her relief before ducking behind her door when Abed returned.

Jeff didn’t think much of it; the neighbour, whatever her name was, just had a crush on Abed. He didn’t bring it up, and Abed didn’t either.

On the second day, Jeff started to hear the rumours.

Two boys in the shared bathroom, discussing who was a better lay – and one of the options was Abed. A girl, poking her head in with her mouth open in a question before she noticed Jeff and pulled back blushing. Someone who lived a few doors down had gotten halfway into a conversation with Abed in the short time it had taken Jeff to go to the bathroom, biting their lip and twirling their finger in their hair.

On the third day, Britta came and shook him out of his stupor with a well-thrown faucet, fully distracting him from his observations for the time being.

* * *

Debate 109

Only two weeks later, once Jeff had moved into his own place and an _interesting_ debate had been won between Greendale and City College, did the people in the dorms return to his mind.

Late the night after the debate, when the rest of the study group were packing up and getting to their feet, Jeff raised an eyebrow at Abed in a silent question.

Abed, who had been picking up his bag, paused to give Jeff a confused look. “What?”

The question was barely audible over the loud chatter of the others as they left the room, but Troy frowned, turning back to glance at Abed. “You okay?”

“Jeff raised an eyebrow, but I don’t know what that means,” Abed told him.

Jeff sighed. So much for subtlety.

_I should have remembered that Abed isn’t good with facial expressions._

“I wanted to talk to you, if that’s okay?” he said, trying to be as gentle as possible as he gave Troy a placating smile.

The young man grinned back, enthusiastically nodding, “Of course!” before he bounded out of the room.

Abed turned back to Jeff, the confused expression still on his face. “What do want to talk about, Jeff?”

“I’m going to ask you something,” Jeff said, “and you don’t have to answer it. Is that acceptable to you?” He kept his voice even and reassuring, as he had no idea how Abed would react to his question. While he normally wouldn’t care, Jeff knew the struggles he himself was having with considering coming out to the study group.

Abed nodded, his brow furrowed.

“Are you attracted to men and women?”

His expression clearing, turning to something relaxed, and a tension in his shoulders Jeff hadn’t even noticed fading, Abed nodded. “Yeah.”

Jeff nodded too. “Okay.”

“How did you know?” Abed asked, tilting his head slightly to one side.

Jeff shrugged. “Remember when I stayed in your dorm? A lot of people there were talking about you. Some of _them_ seemed to think _we_ were dating”

“Does that bother you?” Abed was studying him, as if he were an interesting specimen in an experiment.

Jeff shook his head, took a deep, _deep_ breath, then said, “Well, I’d be a hypocrite if it did.”

No shock registered on Abed’s face, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t surprised. He was in the sort of mood where Jeff couldn’t read him at all. “You’ve been a hypocrite before.”

“Not this time,” Jeff told him, shaking his head again.

“So you’re bisexual then.”

Jeff shrugged, aiming for nonchalant and missing it by half a mile. He could feel the tension in his shoulders, in the unnatural stiffness of his back even as he tried to slouch in his chair. “Yeah.”

“Cool,” Abed said. “Me too.”

Hesitating for a moment, Jeff inhaled before saying, “Don’t tell the others.”

Abed’s eyebrows drew together. “I wouldn’t,” he said. The words weren’t spoken any differently to normal, yet they sparked something warm in Jeff’s chest. Somehow, despite every doubt that had ever crossed Jeff’s mind, he believed Abed with every fibre of his being.

He smiled. “Thanks. I won’t tell them about you.”

This time, Abed shrugged. “I haven’t mentioned my sexuality because it hasn’t come up as a plot point.”

Jeff could feel surprise making itself clear on his face. “Huh.”

“Yeah, I’m not actually that bothered.”

For whatever reason – perhaps Abed’s near-eternal sincerity, or something else – Jeff found himself believing the other man. Abed being comfortable with his own sexuality, while Jeff was sitting there and stewing there on his own feelings, was odd.

“I get why most people are,” Abed continued, “but I’m not.”

Jeff gave him an appreciative look. “I’m impressed.”

“Why?”

It took Jeff a moment to realise exactly why he was, in fact, impressed. “In my experience, people aren’t that secure with themselves even when they’re straight.”

“Jeff, I have sex with people of all genders most weeks.” Abed didn’t look embarrassed in the slightest as he said this. Despite having regular, similar, encounters, Jeff wasn’t sure he’d ever have the confidence to say the words so frankly. “I have self-esteem falling out of my butt.”

Jeff huffed a laugh, looking down at his hands where they were clasped in his lap. “That you do.”

“Do you think that’s a good thing or a bad thing?” Abed asked, his expression turning confused again.

Smiling warmly, in a way he rarely did, Jeff said, “Good. Very good.”

* * *

Environmental Science

“Why did you manipulate Chang?” Abed asked. His face was as impassive as usual, and Jeff still didn’t know him well-enough to read him any better.

“Because you asked me too,” he answered, not bothering to look up from his phone. He was leaning against the wall, in the corridor down from the dance, Abed stood in front of him. “Why did _you_ choose a romantic duet to sing with your friend?”

Abed hmm-ed. “We asked you to talk to him. You contacted his estranged wife and convinced her to dance with him.”

Jeff glanced up from his phone, then shrugged. “They’re the same thing.”

“I like the song,” Abed said, the words casual. “Troy liked it too.”

“It’s a nice song,” Jeff had to admit.

Except he didn’t have to admit that. In normal circumstances, he wouldn’t have said anything and just raised a judgemental eyebrow at Abed; with most people he wouldn’t have let his opinions be known.

Yet he trusted Abed, for some reason.

“It is,” Abed said, then hummed the first few notes.

They stood quietly for a moment, then Jeff let out a deep, only _mildly_ exasperated, sigh and shoved his phone in his pocket. “What do you want?”

Abed said, “I’m sorry for kicking you out of the group.”

 _Oh_ , Jeff thought. His mouth tried to spread into an involuntary smile. He didn’t let it.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I don’t care.”

Now Abed frowned, his brow furrowing slightly. “Yes, you do.”

“No, I don’t,” Jeff said, just a touch too loud. He winced as someone down the hall looked in their direction.

Abed didn’t seem to notice. “You trusted me last week, and I let us kick you out this week.”

After glancing around to make sure no one was too close, Jeff leant in slightly and lowered his voice to say, “We trusted each other last week.”

Abed looked at him for a moment, seemed to realise Jeff wasn’t going to say anything more, then said, “We should go back to the dance. Britta was wondering where you were.”

Jeff nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets before inclining his head in the direction of the cafeteria. “Back to the Irish folk music it is, then.”

“Actually, I’ve got a water gun fight to get to,” Abed said, pointing down the hall, towards the Library. He walked off, leaving Jeff to watch him go.

* * *

The Politics of Human Sexuality

Jeff frowned, squinting up at the clock. No one else was around, and it was dark outside, but surely it wasn’t as late as his watch said?

The wall clock, unfortunately, also read eleven thirty. Jeff had slept half the evening away, curled up on one of the couches in the cafeteria.

“Ugh,” he groaned as he straightened, then pushed to his feet.

The lights had been turned off, and the whole room was completely empty of people. Moving slowly, his limbs aching from the awkward position he’d fallen asleep in, Jeff started across the room with the intention of going to his car and driving back to his apartment.

Before he left, though, soft footsteps echoed and then Abed strode into the room.

Jeff blinked. “Abed? What are you doing here?”

“Troy wants a glass of water,” Abed said, stopping a few meters away. A hand was clutched around the strap of his bag, and his face was as blank as usual.

Shrugging, Jeff went to move past Abed, only to stop when Abed turned to continue facing him.

“What?” he asked, still bleary from sleep.

“Why are you here?” Abed asked.

Jeff didn’t want to tell the truth; it was embarrassing, and made him feel old. No one had been around anyway – they’d all been at the STD fair.

“I was just getting something to eat,” Jeff said, forcing a smile to curl on his face.

Abed looked at him for a moment more – not making eye contact, he rarely did that, but looking in that way that the study group knew meant he was paying attention. Jeff was beginning to get the odd feeling that he was being studied.

“Half the food in the vending machines is out of date anyway,” he continued, shoving his hands into his pocket. “Didn’t go well.”

Abed didn’t do anything for a few seconds, then nodded slowly. “I get my own snacks.”

Jeff’s smile widened, even as something in his chest twisted. He so rarely felt bad about lying, why was this time different? “Yeah, exactly.”

There was a pause.

“I should get going,” Abed said abruptly. “Troy’s waiting for me.”

Jeff gave him a jerky nod, looking down at the floor. “Of course, yeah, you should get going.”

Abed hesitated for a moment more, then gave him a slight wave before turning and walking out of the cafeteria. “Bye.”

* * *

Comparative Religion

Not entirely sure what he was doing, Jeff stopped outside the door to Abed’s dorm.

Abed had texted him that morning, inviting Jeff over. While the two of them had grown closer over the last month, and Jeff was used to entering without knocking after living there for a few days, this time felt slightly different.

For one, Abed rarely sent an invite without mentioning a specific show or film he wanted to watch. For another, he’d requested that Jeff… dress a certain way.

Before he could dwell on it any longer, the door was yanked open, and Abed was there, grinning at him rather uncharacteristically. Jeff knew by now that, even when Abed was happy, he rarely expressed the emotion with his face. Pierce called Abed an emotionless robot because of it, but Jeff was starting to learn that that wasn’t the case.

“I like your sweater,” Abed said. The words came out as abruptly as they usually did, and something in Jeff’s chest eased at them.

“I don’t,” he replied, trying his best to ignore the jumper he was wearing. It wasn’t too bad, but it was still too ugly for his liking – dark blue, with red snowflakes around the wrists and across his collarbone.

When Abed moved back to the couch, Jeff stepped further inside and closed the door behind him.

“Your text said to dress festively.”

“I thought you didn’t like Christmas,” Abed said, tilting his head to one side.

Jeff shrugged. “This was the least offensive one I could find.”

“Christmas sweaters aren’t offensive,” Abed said. His brow furrowed. “Offensive to who?”

Jeff took a seat at the other end of the couch. “My eyes.”

Abed laughed and shook his head. “Christmas sweaters are _supposed_ to be bright.”

“Are they supposed to look like that?” Jeff gestured to Abed’s own Christmas sweater. On it, Santa was riding a dinosaur. “Why did you ask me over?”

Now, Abed looked down, his fingers twisting the hem of his sweater. “My mom’s coming later.”

Memories of Gobi Nadir, and what Abed had filmed for him, made Jeff’s eyebrows shoot up.

“Your mom?” he echoed, more than a little incredulous.

The video Abed had made a few months before had given Jeff and Britta the impression that Abed didn’t know his mom.

Abed just nodded. “Yep. It’s our tradition. Every year, on December ninth, she comes and we watch _Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer_.”

Jeff didn’t know what to say, so he did what he did best: improvised. “That’s good, it’s good that you… keep in touch with her.”

Abed nodded again.

“How long have you been doing this? Do you see her often?”

“She’s comes every year. Dad used to complain about it,” Abed answered, seemingly unaware of Jeff’s shock. “I used to go to her house once a month.”

Jeff eyed the other man, a little wary. “And now?”

“And now what?”

“And now how often do you see her?”

Abed shrugged. “At Christmas.”

“You only see your mom once a year?”

Something about that felt wrong to Jeff – instead of straight up leaving, like the video had suggested, Abed’s mom had been hovering at the edges of his life for a long time.

“I used to see her more,” Abed repeated, frowning slightly. “She’s come less recently.”

The acceptance on Abed’s face, in his posture, hurt Jeff. Memories of his own father – there one day and gone the next – rose up. He shoved them back down.

“When is she arriving?” Jeff asked, gentling his voice.

Abed wasn’t meeting his gaze, but he never did that. “Ten past twelve.”

“That’s oddly specific time,” Jeff muttered.

“I factored in mom’s lateness,” Abed said. “Mom is always late.”

Jeff paused, waiting for Abed to say more, but he didn’t. “Why did you ask me to come?”

Abed shrugged again, tugging on a loose thread in the hem of his sweater. “I’m worried she won’t come again.”

“What?” The word escaped Jeff before he could stop it.

“I put the data of mom’s visits together, and the trend shows that this is the last year I’ll see her for Christmas.”

_Well, damn._

“I’m worried,” Abed said. “I want to see my mom again.”

Jeff took a deep breath in, trying to find an angle on a situation he knew very little about. “I haven’t met your mom, so I can’t speak for her, but I know that you’re worth knowing. If your mom can’t see that, that’s on her. Not you.”

Abed frowned, his hands stilling for a moment. “But I want to see my mom.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Jeff told him. “But, sometimes, people are shitty. Your graphs and data and all that are good, I’m sure, but they don’t tell the whole story. Unexpected events occur.”

Shaking his head, Abed said, “Not my mom. She’s very predictable.”

“If she’s so predictable, then why aren’t you _sure_ that she won’t come next year?”

“I hadn’t considered that,” Abed said. “I don’t know.”

Something clicked in Jeff’s head, and he knew what he could argue. “Abed, you’re scared your mom won’t come next Christmas. That could happen even if she’s the nicest person in the world.”

“She is very nice,” Abed interjected.

Jeff didn’t respond to that, instead just continuing. “Something like forty thousand people die in a car accident in America every year. Your mom could be one of those. Any number of reasons outside of human control could stop her from coming next year, but you can’t spend your life worrying about them. Just… enjoy the time that you have with her. If she chooses to not come next Christmas, that’s on her.”

He took a deep breath, finished, and watched Abed closely for a response.

Abed frowned, his eyes pinching like they always did when he was considering something. “Are you saying my mom’s going to die in a car crash? I really don’t think my mom’s going to die in a car crash.”

“That’s not the point,” Jeff said. “My point is--”

“I know what your point is,” Abed said. “Are you saying my mom’s going to die in a car crash?”

“No, I--”

“Answer the question, Jeff.”

Jeff paused. There was a minute quaver in Abed’s voice, the slightest tugging at the corner of his mouth, but he wasn’t sure what it meant. “Abed?”

“It’s fine,” Abed said, the smile returning to his face as he relaxed. “I’m just messing with you. I know you’re not saying that.”

Jeff let out a deep breath, slouching back into the sofa and resting an arm along the back. “Phew, I was worried for a second there.”

“Do you want to watch _Die Hard_?” Abed asked, reaching behind himself to pick up a DVD a hold it up.

Jeff checked his watch. “Do we have time before your mom arrives?”

“ _Die Hard_ is two hours and twelve minutes long. We have two hours and seventeen minutes,” Abed said.

“Sure,” Jeff said. “What else would I have to do?”

“You could go shopping,” Abed said. “You like to go shopping on Sundays.”

Jeff scoffed. “You think I’m going to go shopping in Dec—wait. How do you know I sometimes go shopping on Sundays?”

“I know these things,” Abed told him. “Do you want to watch Die Hard?”

Jeff considered inquiring further about Abed’s strange knowledge of his schedule, but decided it wasn’t worth it. “Sure.”

The corners of Abed’s mouth curved up into a small smile, and it made something in Jeff’s chest feel fluttery.

The next day, when Abed walked into the study room, Jeff raised an eyebrow at him.

“So? How did it go?”

Abed gave him a thumbs-up. “Cool.”

“What’s this?” Britta asked, her head snapping up from the incredibly boring Spanish textbook.

“None of your business,” Jeff said reflexively.

Britta pulled a face at him, then turned to look at Abed as he sat down. “Abed?”

“My mom visited,” Abed answered easily, as unfazed as he always was.

“Your _mom_?” Britta yelped. “I thought she left when you were a kid.”

“She did,” Abed shrugged, then pulled his textbook out of his bag and set it down on the table, flipping it to the page they were set for homework.

Britta frowned, her gaze flicking to Jeff as if asking for an explanation, but he just shrugged and started his own work.

Later that day, once they’ve fought the guy who hit Abed, Jeff looks across at Abed – who’s sucking on a candy cane, the blood on brow dried already – and grins at him, wide and toothy. The smile he receives feels like a gift of its own.

Even later than that, Jeff joins Abed in decorating Troy like a Christmas tree and thinks that, over those two days, he’s already had one of the best Christmas seasons of his life.

* * *

Investigative Journalism

Once Annie was gone, Jeff reached for his martini. Before he could take a sip, Abed dropped an olive in it.

Jeff smiled to himself, staring down at the drink. “Thank you,” he said, “Radar.”

“Ooh.” Abed sounded excited. “You made me so happy I just peed a little.”

When Jeff twisted around his chair, there was a small, genuine smile on Abed’s face. It was soft and delighted and Jeff liked it. A lot.

There was a knock on the door, distracting Jeff, and he spun around his chair to call, “Come in.”

The door swung open, and one of the Greendale Gazette Journal Mirror staff who Jeff only vaguely recognised walked in. Strangely enough, the student wasn’t even looking at Jeff; instead, he was glaring at Abed, who had tensed minutely when he came in.

“What’s this?” Jeff asked, gesturing to the sheets of paper the student had set down on the desk.

The student’s expression was dark, and angry, and it made Jeff want to know more about why he was acting like this towards Abed.

“My article,” the student answered. His tone was sharp.

“Okay,” Jeff said, setting down his martini as he leaned forward to grab the article and drop it into his ‘Unread’ box. When the student just stood there, still glaring at Abed, Jeff frowned. “You can leave.”

“I want to know that _he_ ” – the word was heavily emphasised – “won’t just throw it in the bin. Like he did to me.”

Jeff could feel his eyebrows inching upwards, but when Abed tensed even more next to him, anger coiled in his chest. “Leave,” he ordered, the word coming out even more harshly than he had intended.

The student’s eyes widened, then he stomped back out of the room. The way he shut the door wasn’t quite a slam, but it was close enough that Jeff saw Abed flinch ever so slightly out of the corner of his eye.

He turned the chair back around, to raise an eyebrow at Abed. The other man was still except for his hands; he’d taken one of the pencils on the desk to rub between his fingers.

“What was _that_ about?”

Abed shrugged, the motion too stiff and robotic for Jeff to believe it was genuine. “That was Steven. I slept with him last week. He wanted a relationship with me, so when I reminded him that we only agreed to a one-night stand, he became angry.”

“Sounds and looks like an asshole,” Jeff muttered, glancing back to the door Steven had left from. “Why did you let him talk to you like that? You normally tell people if you think they’re wrong.”

“Responding to him only makes him worse,” Abed said. “If I ignore him, he goes away faster.”

Jeff blinked. “He’s that bad?”

“He’s shouted at me three times,” Abed admitted. “I don’t like loud noises.”

“Well, my original judgement was right then: he’s an asshole. Can I help?”

Abed opened his mouth, as if to say no, then shut it again. Something sparked to life in his eye. “Ooh! I have an idea.”

“Is he close?” Jeff asked, keeping his voice a whisper as he glanced in the vague direction of the door – it was pitch black in the supply closet when the door was closed.

Abed, pressed again him, nodded. “Annie asked him two minutes ago, she sits a two minute and thirty second walk from this supply closet. Steven should be here in the next thirty seconds.”

There was silence for a moment, just the sounds of their breathing as they waited for Abed’s asshole ex-one-night stand to arrive.

Less than thirty seconds later, the door made the click it always did before it opened, and then Abed was surging forward to press his lips to Jeff’s.

The world stilled, and Jeff’s mind went blank as he wrapped his arms around Abed’s waist, and let himself be pushed back against the wall.

It felt they were frozen in time, just to two of them pressed together, Jeff’s heartbeat echoing in his ears. He faintly registered how soft Abed’s lips were – from the Chapstick he liked to put on.

Suddenly, light was flooding into the room, and Jeff turned just in time to see the student from earlier – Steven – gasp and run off. The door slammed shut behind him, returning the room to darkness.

Abed pulled back, and a second later a torch turned on, blinding Jeff momentarily.

“You good?” he asked.

Jeff nodded, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah.”

“Cool,” Abed said. “Cool, cool, cool.”

There was a slightly awkward silence for a moment, then Jeff asked, “You ready for Spanish?”

“I did my work last night,” Abed responded. “I assume you didn’t.”

“Actually, I did it this morning,” Jeff said, feeling a slightly triumphant smile blossom on his face.

Abed’s eyes widened in surprise. “I wasn’t expecting that. You typify the ‘do homework in class at the last, last minute’ stereotype.”

“Well, it looks like I’m not completely predictable after all,” Jeff said, more than a little smug.

“Maybe, but we need to go.” Abed held up his arm to show Jeff his digital watch. “We have five minutes before class starts. And we’re still standing in a supply closet.”

“Shit,” Jeff swore, pushing the door open before he remembered that he and Abed were in a very small closet; most people could guess what they were doing upon seeing them emerge from it together.

Luckily, the hallway was empty, so the two of them weren’t seen by anyone as they made their way out and to Señor Chang’s class. But, the whole way, Jeff felt his lips tingling where Abed’s lips had met his.

* * *

Interpretive Dance

After Jeff talked to Britta, and handed her the bouquet of flowers that she seemed to like, he lingered slightly longer than he might have otherwise done; Michelle was going to be another few minutes and rain was pouring down outside – he didn’t want to sit in his cold car waiting for her.

That meant he was standing just inside the door, scrolling on his phone, when the sounds of someone tap-dancing started.

At first he just dismissed it, but whoever it was continued dancing, so Jeff pushed off the wall and strode around the corner to see the stage and –

It was Abed dancing; he was going from side to side, his arms open. His gaze caught Jeff’s, and he stopped immediately, returning to his usual stiff posture.

“Oh. Hi, Jeff.”

“Hi, Abed,” Jeff said. “I didn’t know you tap-danced.”

“I don’t,” Abed said.

“You don’t?” Jeff could feel his eyebrows rising.

Abed shrugged. “I borrowed the shoes from the changing room. I know what people do when they tap-dance, I copied that.”

“Well, you’re very good.”

“Thank you,” Abed said, nodding. “Did you want to talk again?”

Jeff couldn’t help but feel like their conversation was slightly awkward, without the usual ease, but he didn’t know why; their kiss – successful kiss – had been five weeks before, and they’d been absolutely fine after that. “Michelle should be finished with the Dean by now,” he said instead, checking his watch.

Something in Abed’s half-smile deflated, and his next words were a little stiff. “Oh, yeah. See you, then.”

Jeff gave him a slight wave, scrabbling for something to say in response. In the end, when he came up with nothing, he just went with, “See you Monday.”

He strode out, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he used his shoulder to shove through the doors.

“Bye, Jeff,” Abed called out just before the door closed behind him.

Michelle was waiting in Jeff’s car, and she smiled across at him as he slid into his seat, quickly pulling to door to behind him to keep out the rain.

It was pouring down, hammering against the roof of the car, and in the walk from the theatre to the parking lot, Jeff had been drenched.

“What took you so long?” Michelle asked him, pulling back and wrinkling her nose when he pulled off his soaked jacket to toss into the backseat. “Was it that blonde from your Spanish class again?”

Jeff blinked. “Britta? No, I talked to her, then while I was waiting, I heard another friend of mine dancing.”

“Someone else from your study group?” Michelle asked, frowning. It struck Jeff that she was much more expressive than Abed.

He nodded. “Yeah, Abed. Nadir.” For some reason, he didn’t feel like volunteering any more information about the closeness of his and Abed’s relationship.

“Oh.” Michelle looked more relaxed, and Jeff knew it was because Abed was a boy. He hadn’t told her that he was bisexual; he didn’t know _how_ to tell her. “He was dancing?”

Jeff shrugged. “Yeah.” He took a deep breath, shook his hair to get some of the water off, then turned to grin at Michelle. “My place, then?”

Michelle smiled back at him, the faint light of a streetlight catching on her hair and making it shine. “Your place.”

* * *

Romantic Expressionism

* * *

Communication Studies

When Jeff, already slightly tipsy from the alcohol, told Abed that he’s a horrible drinking buddy, he didn’t expect Abed to say that he’s right, and drink straight from the bottle.

But then Abed poured them each out a glass, and said something in Polish, and then they were _drinking_.

The next morning, when Jeff woke up on the lower bunk bed with a throbbing head and dryness in his mouth and the light blinding him, the first words out of his mouth were swear words. The second ones were asking after Abed.

He pulled the mask off his face, then the second mask off, and looked up, blinking. Abed’s legs were dangling over the edge of the drawer above him.

“It’s three o’clock,” he said, the words coming out low and scratchy. “What happened?”

Abed’s voice, when he replied, was dull and lifeless. “The last thing I remember is you were dancing like that girl in the movie… _Kids in Detention_?”

 _That’s not good_ , Jeff thought.

“Breakfast club?” he suggested.

There was a pause, then Abed said, “Dear God. What have you done to me?”

Jeff processed those words for a moment, then the reason they were drinking in the first place came to the forefront of his mind. “Wait. Did I call Britta? Where’s my phone?”

“Got it,” Abed said, still sounding exhausted. “You made two out-going calls. One to Britta. One to your girlfriend.”

Jeff groaned, pressed a hand to his face. “I don’t remember either of them.”

“Neither do I.” The next words out of Abed’s mouth were the most dejected Jeff had ever heard him: “I don’t remember the name of the girl in _The Breakfast Club_.”

“Tomorrow,” Jeff mumbled. “Tomorrow will be fine.”

“Mary?” Abed tried. “Margaret? Molly Ringworm? You broke me.”

Jeff struggled to his feet, using the bed frame to help him up, and when he turned around, he saw Abed. The other man was flopped in the top drawer, a purple feather boa around his neck and a green bullet stuck to his forehead.

_When did that get there?_

Jeff fumbled for his phone, reaching out to take it from Abed’s hand, and peered down at the screen. “This isn’t good.”

Jeff followed Abed into the study room, trying to ignore how good Abed looked in black sunglasses with messy hair and that shirt, and instead faked a laugh at whatever it was Britta said.

“Can you please be quiet,” Abed mumbled, waving his hand vaguely. “I feel like…that person in the TV show.”

Then Britta asked if he remembered calling her the night before, and Jeff froze. He shared a look with Abed, who didn’t seem to have the energy to care about the drunk phone call right then, and answered, “Yeah. Why?” He tilted his head down, trying to peer over the top of his sunglasses to see Britta better. “Are we cool?”

Britta gave him a smile that made him regret the entirety of last night and said, “Oh, yeah.”

Except he didn’t regret last night, because he had a great time with Abed, from the flashes of memory he could piece together (Abed’s adorable turtle face – a pizza delivery guy dancing with them – sword fighting with Abed’s plastic replicas – drinking, and drinking, and _drinking_ ). There were too many blank spots, but he knew he had fun.

“Have a seat,” Britta continued, her dangerous smirk still in place. Luckily, she then moved to take her own seat, giving Jeff the opportunity to exchange another glance with Abed

“Balance restored, I guess.”

Abed was still very much out of it, even with his comically huge coffee, and just mumbled, “Movie reference.”

Jeff took that as ‘I’m glad this worked, and you’re right, balance has been restored’.

* * *

Physical Education

Jeff didn’t comment at first, when the rest of the study group was jumping up and down about finding a picture someone drew in their textbook of Abed; if Abed wanted to deal with it, then he could, he decided.

But then, they continued in Spanish, and ignored Abed saying that he wasn’t planning on talking to her.

“Guys,” Jeff said, looking up from his phone to interject, “come on, you heard Abed. He’s not interested. Drop it.”

Of course, Jeff was also the only one in the group aware that Abed had one-night stands regularly so he may have been projecting his own knowledge onto the situation, but he did think the group were projecting their own ideas of who Abed was onto him when they knew that he wasn’t that simple to understand.

“Jeff, you need to mind your own business,” Shirley told him, then looked down at Abed and said, “Abed you need to get with this girl immediately, if not sooner.”

Abed made a non-committal noise.

The group only took that as agreement.

“Abed,” Troy started, and Jeff know what this was ramping up too and was _really_ struggling to not roll his eyes right now, “for guys like you, this kind of opportunity only comes around once in a—while.”

Pierce nodded, moving forward to rest his hands on Abed’s desk and say, “It’s important to date in college, Abed. It’s a time of freedom and exploration. A time when a simple pillow fight between two innocent girls could turn into a steamy night of unbridled lust.”

There was a pause, where they waited for Abed to respond.

“Cool. You guys are going to _Can’t Buy Me Love Me_ , right?”

Jeff got to his feet then, striding forward until he was next to Abed. He looked around the group. “Alright. No one here is _Can’t Buy Me Love Me_ -ing anyone. Abed only needs to be himself.”

Pierce muttered something, but Jeff ignored him as Britta strode forward and said the words he loved to hear: “Jeff’s right.”

After the pool debacle, Jeff found the study group in an out-of-use classroom just in time for Pierce to say that Abed was going to be ‘a half-Polish, half-Arab virgin in his thirties’ if he didn’t get his act together.

Jeff was very, very tempted to go ‘actually…,’ but Abed’s life wasn’t his to share; if he hadn’t mentioned it already, then Jeff certainly had no right to.

He didn’t stride in immediately, instead standing in the doorway for a minute to see if they were _all_ being like that or if it was just Pierce.

Jeff was surprised to find he liked Don Draper-Abed, even if not as much as the real Abed, and shifted uncomfortably when he leaned into kiss Annie.

When they started discussing other characters Abed could be, however, he entered to demand, “What are you guys doing?”

“They’re teaching me how to be someone else,” Abed answered easily, as if it weren’t a big deal. And it may not have been, to him – Abed had, himself, said that he had high self-esteem – but Jeff thought the principle was important; Abed shouldn’t be made to feel like he had to change, even if he didn’t actually care that much.

“For God’s sake,” he exclaimed. “Can’t you just leave Abed be?”

Then Abed got up and did an impression of _him_. It felt… accurate. _Scarily_ accurate. Just how well did Abed know him?

Troy noticed it too, apparently, and commented on how accurate the impression was, which prompted Abed to explain it.

“Abed, what if you pretended to be Jeff for Jenny?” Britta suggested.

Abed did the impression again.

Something about the idea of Abed pretending to be him to get with some girl made Jeff squirm, which made him feel weird, so he made an excuse and stormed out. The faint sound of Abed repeating what he’d said could be heard, even down the hall.

The next day, when Abed surprised them all with his confidence, Jeff was not faking his proclamation that Abed was a god.

“Thank you,” Abed said, his body relaxed in his chair.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have Couch to beat at pool while wearing shorts,” Jeff said, letting a grin spread on his face.

As he left the room, he heard Abed say “Nice.”

[Jeff wouldn’t find out for another few years that Abed had not taken his eyes away during the pool match – not even when Jeff had been, quite literally, baring himself to the world.]

* * *

Family Genealogy

“It’s over,” Michelle said, her voice even as she met his gaze. She didn’t look like she cared at all.

Jeff stilled, taking a sharp breath in. “What?”

“This relationship,” Michelle said, gesturing between them. “I’m breaking up with you.”

“What?” Jeff repeated. “Why?”

She gave him a sympathetic smile. “No.”

Jeff blinked, took a step back. “I don’t understand, I thought we were good. I--”

“Jeff, I’m going to leave now,” Michelle told him. “If you’re going to freak out, you might want to go somewhere more private to do it.” With those words, she strode off. Her heels clicked on the floor, the noise ringing through Jeff’s head and drowning out the chatter of the people walking past.

 _Keep it together_ , he ordered himself. _You only dated her a month._

Taking a deep breath in, Jeff pasted a smile on his face and turned to head in the other direction, to the study room.

That evening, when the day had gone by and Jeff was already regretting kissing Amber, he went to buy something in the vending machine only to find Troy and Abed stuck.

“Oh.”

Both of their faces lit up; while Abed’s was more subtle, with just his mouth turning up into a smile and the tense line of his shoulders loosening, Troy looked like a kid on Christmas morning.

“Jeff!” he cried. “Thank god, we’re stuck.”

Jeff stopped in front the vending machine, sticking his hands in his pockets at he fully took in the situation. “I can see that.”

“Can you help us?” Abed asked.

Jeff raised an eyebrow. “If you get me a bag of chips.”

“Jeff!” This time, Troy’s shout was annoyed. “We’re stuck in a vending machine and you’re bargaining.”

Jeff shrugged, crossing his arms.

“This is so cool,” Abed murmured, barely audible through the glass, as his eyes followed the movement. “He’s being really cool.”

“We can’t get you a bag of chips until you let us out,” Troy said, pulling his ‘I’m trying to act grown-up’ face and fixing Jeff with a look.

“Is that a yes?”

Troy huffed, rolled his eyes, then said, “Sure, it’s a yes.”

Jeff gave him a grin and a nod, then turned and walked off. Troy and Abed made complaining noises behind him.

A few minutes later, he returned with the key and unlocked the vending machine. Both boys tumbled out, collapsing on top of each of other on the floor.

“That,” Troy groaned, reaching up to click his neck, “was _so cool_.”

He leaped to his feet, grinning, and was practically jumping on the spot as he gazed up at Jeff with adoration.

“See?” Abed said, a smile on his face. “I told you he was being cool.”

Jeff could feel his brow furrowing. “I’m always cool, obviously, but what about that in particular was cool?”

Troy looked even more delighted to explain. “You took in the situation without blinking, negotiated for some potato chips, then knew where the keys for the vending machine were.”

“Where are the keys for the vending machine?” Abed asked him, pointing at the massive key ring dangling on Jeff’s finger.

Jeff smirked. “If I told you, then it wouldn’t be a secret, would it?”

Troy and Abed took a collective breath in, exchanged a look, then hissed in unison, “ _So cool._ ”

“Dorks,” Jeff muttered under his breath, then brushed past the pair of them to pluck a bag of chips from the vending machine. Once he had done that, he locked the vending machine and turned back to face Troy and Abed. They were both still staring at him.

“So cool,” Abed whispered, and Troy nodded enthusiastically.

“What are you even still doing here?” Jeff asked. “Did you honestly think you could both fit into a vending machine?”

Troy shrugged. “We wanted free snacks, and we saw one of Shirley’s kids do it earlier.”

“What are _you_ still doing here?” Abed asked.

Jeff hid his wince, and schooled his expression so he looked nonchalant. “On Thursdays I normally go to Michelle’s place.”

“Oh,” Abed said, his eyes growing wide. “Are you sad?”

“Do you want a shoulder to cry on?” Troy asked, looking far too excited by the prospect.

Jeff gave him a look.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Troy mumbled, glancing away.

“I didn’t like Slater,” Abed said flatly.

Troy twisted, leaning in to whisper, “You can’t say that, Jeff’s sad.”

“It’s fine,” Jeff told him, holding a hand up in a placating gesture. “I’m fine, remember.”

“But I saw you crying on Pierce’s shoulder,” Abed said, his expression becoming what Jeff could now recognise as confused. “You _aren’t_ sad?”

Troy shook his head, clapping a hand on Abed’s shoulder. “No, he’s doing that thing that people do when they lie and say that they’re fine when they’re actually not.”

“So, I shouldn’t have said that I didn’t like Slater.” The words came out slowly, as if Abed were committing them to memory.

“No,” Troy said, “you shouldn’t.”

Abed nodded, a touch stiffly, then turned to Jeff. “I’m sorry, Jeff.”

Jeff shook his head. “It’s fine, Abed. I don’t care.”

“And when people say that they don’t care, they do,” Abed said, looking to Troy as if for confirmation.

Jeff winced. Troy, to his credit, looked a little awkward as he replied, “Yeah, but you don’t say that in front of them.”

“Ooh.” Abed nodded.

“Can we do the water fight now, Abed?” Troy asked him. “Jeff, do you want to join our water fight? Pierce cheated last time so we banned him and it doesn’t work as well with just two people.”

Abed shook his head. “Abra’s staying with my dad and she doesn’t come to America that often. We’re having a family dinner.”

“Shit, I have to go see Nana Barnes,” Troy cried, his eyes widening as he checked his watch. “We were in there too long, I’m already late!”

He sprinted off, half-crashing into the wall in his hurry.

That left Jeff and Abed standing there, staring in the direction he’d disappeared.

“I’ll walk with you?” Jeff suggested.

Abed smiled and nodded. “I’d like that.”

They started through the dining hall at a sedate pace, Jeff shortening his strides to keep pace with Abed.

“So, your cousin,” Jeff said. “Are her side of the family more religious? I mean with the burka and everything.”

Abed nodded. “They live in Gaza. My dad’s much less strict. It’s called a niqab.”

“Sorry,” Jeff said.

“It’s fine. Most people don’t know the difference.”

They left the cafeteria building and went down the steps in silence. The campus was completely empty, with only the occasional street light fighting against the black of the night.

“Wait a second,” Jeff said when they reached the parking lot. “You don’t own a car.”

Abed turned and gave a grin that said he knew exactly what he was doing. “No. Drive me?”

Jeff kept the eye contact for a second, trying to resist, but Abed’s eyes were pretty and Jeff caved within a few seconds. “Fine, get in.”

“Thank you,” Abed said, dashing around the car to get in the passenger’s seat. “Have you seen _Avatar_ yet?”

Jeff groaned, faking exasperation, but something warm and bright bloomed in his chest.

* * *

Beginner Pottery

 _Something’s wrong_ , Jeff realised as he watched Abed rub his fingers together. Every few minutes, the other man would let out a high-pitched squeak, only to press his lips together and shake his head.

“Abed?” he asked, trying to keep his voice gentle as he reached out. Before he could make contact, he paused, leaving his hand hovering just above Abed’s shoulder.

Abed didn’t respond, his eyes fixed on his fingers. They were rubbed red.

“Abed, what’s wrong?” Jeff tried again.

He hadn’t seen Abed like this before, but memories of his accusation from the first day – that Abed had Asperger’s – flooded back. Jeff didn’t know what to do.

They had been watching one of the Indiana Jones movies – Jeff wasn’t entirely sure which one – in Jeff’s house when this had started.

Abed didn’t say anything, his eyes wide as hunched in on himself.

“Abed?” Jeff repeated, making his voice even softer this time. He pulled his hand back, then considered putting it on Abed’s knee but aborted the motion at the last moment.

Abed grabbed his hand before he could pull away, latching onto his hand and rubbing the skin with his fingers.

“Jeff,” Abed managed to get out, his gaze flickering from side to side.

Relief felt like a bolt of lightning, shooting through Jeff. “Thank God,” he muttered. “Abed, what’s wrong?”

Abed shook his head, pressing his lips tight together.

“You don’t want to talk about it? That’s fine. Do you, uh, need anything?”

It took a full minute before Abed said anything else, but Jeff just sat there, letting Abed fiddle with his hand, and didn’t say anything.

“It’s—too much.”

Jeff blinked. “Too much?”

“I don’t like loud noises.” Abed said the words quickly, as if that would make them less real. “The fan and the blender earlier and clicking fingers.”

“What can I do to help?” Jeff asked, making himself even quieter now he knew Abed wasn’t doing well with loud noises; the words came out as a whisper.

“Turn the TV down. And the fan.”

“Okay,” Jeff murmured, looking Abed up and down before he gently pulled his hand out of his grip; Abed immediately started tapping his fingers on his knee, while Jeff got up to generally make the apartment quieter.

“I get like this sometimes,” Abed continued. He was staring down at his fingers as if they held the answers to the universe. “When I get overwhelmed. Today was a bad day. I tried to ignore it.”

Jeff frowned. “If you’re feeling like that, you should tell me. I won’t be offended.”

“I said I’d come over.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jeff said. “You shouldn’t be suffering in silence when there’s an easy solution.”

“Then I should probably go,” Abed said, glancing up when Jeff sat back down next to him. “Your apartment is boring.”

His eyebrows rising, Jeff huffed a laugh. “Yeah.”

“Blankets are good,” Abed added. “I like blankets.”

“I have very few blankets,” Jeff had to admit. “Would it help if I had more blankets?”

“Why would you do that?” Abed tilted his head to one side, his brow furrowing.

Jeff blinked. “Well, I like it when you come over to my apartment and I’d like you to be comfortable here.”

“Oh.” Abed smiled.

The next day was Monday, and Jeff entered the study room fully prepared.

“As we stand, once again upon the deadline to drop or add classes,” he said as he strode in. Everyone was already there, and turned to look at him. Abed was spinning a piece of paper around a pencil, staring down at the table, “I hereby present this semester’s Jeff Winger pick for ultimate blow-off class: Beginner Pottery,” he said as he strode in. Everyone else was already there, and turned to look at him. Abed was spinning a piece of paper around a pencil, staring down at the table.

“I don’t know,” Annie said. “Your last ‘blow-off’ class ended up teaching me to live in the moment. Which I will always regret and never do again.”

“This one’s different,” Jeff told her. “I researched. You don’t even have to make a good pot. You get an art credit for participation.”

Shirley ‘ooh-d’, and Abed nodded very seriously.

“This class is like a redhead who likes to drink scotch and watch Die Hard. I suggest you get her number.”

He’d researched the class the night before, finding one that was calm and wasn’t likely to cause any sensory overload – which he’d also researched – for Abed.

It was then that Pierce entered, and told them all about his sailing class, and Abed pointed out that the nearest body of water was hours away. Pierce chuckled, patting Abed’s shoulder like he was a silly child, and Jeff knew he wasn’t the only one who saw how Abed flinched away from the touch; Troy frowned at his friend, his concern written across his face.

Later, after Jeff had lazily walked into pottery a few minutes late and settled down next to Abed, who was next to Annie.

“Hey, Laura Ingalls, Home Depot Guy. Who’s making pots, huh? Let’s participate this thing.”

Abed poked his ball of clay. “I’m going to make falafel.”

“And, guess what, this class is supposed to be nice and quiet,” Jeff continued, grinning at Abed, who looked surprised. “I thought you might like it.”

“Why would Abed like that?” Annie asked, glancing between the two of them.

“It’s not plot-relevant,” Abed said, still poking rather dejectedly at his ball of clay, but, to Jeff, added, “Thanks. I think it’ll help.”

Jeff gave his award-winning smile. “That’s all I was looking for.”

“The thanks, or the fact it’ll help?” Abed asked.

“Can’t it be both?” Jeff countered, still wearing his award-winning smile.

Of course, in the end, Jeff’s plan was derailed by the appearance of Rich, and his own, consequent, reaction; though that, in it itself, seemed to entertain Abed as he discussed it in Spanish class.

“Good to see you getting along with Rich,” Abed said. “What’s he like?”

Jeff grinned, perhaps a little viciously, and replied, “He’s a ringer.”

“A what?” Abed’s reaction seemed less like he doesn’t understand the word, and more like he was doubting Jeff.

He explained it anyway. “You know, a con man, a grifter, a ringer. He’s an expert potter who signs up for novice classes to impress people.”

“But if he wants to impress people, why join a pottery class?” Abed asked. “Why not just say ‘Hi, I’m a doctor’?”

“Because he’s crazy,” Jeff said. “And fancy jobs don’t impress people. You’ve never been impressed that I was a lawyer.”

Abed was quick to counter, “Well, anyone can be a lawyer. You can even represent yourself.”

Which…ouch.

“You can’t do surgery on yourself. It’s illegal. You’d get arrested. And then you’d get a free lawyer.”

Even bigger ouch.

Jeff wanted Abed to be impressed by his job as a lawyer – his job as a _very_ _good_ lawyer – but it clearly wasn’t taking. Before he could try and convince him further, Annie came over to spout more praise for Rich, who was _really_ starting to get on Jeff’s nerves.

In the end, Jeff went too far and got kicked out of pottery, and his plan to help Abed was lost and forgotten.

* * *

The Science of Illusion

“This investigation is going nowhere,” Pierce announced, getting to his feet. His wizard robe swished as he did. “You need a psychic!”

“Perfect,” Jeff muttered, rolling his eyes as he slouched back in his seat.

“Now, this process may alarm you,” Pierce continued, poking his fingers into Jeff’s cheeks as he laid his hands on either side of his head.

There was deep breath, and then Pierce gasped. “Oh! Gay, gay, gay. So gay! Oh-oh, dark… nightclub. Throbbing… music. Men’s room—Men’s room stall. Penis. Two penises! Oh. So gay, he’s so gay.”

On either side of him, Annie and Shirley turned away, and Jeff was sure they, too, were rolling their eyes.

Pierce made a disgusted noise, pulling away.

“Pierce!” Annie shouted. “Sit down. We’ll take it from here.” She leant down, resting her hand on the table as she met his gaze. “Jeff, where we you last night?”

Even before he said he was at a bar the night before, Jeff knew what Pierce was going to say. He was right.

“Called it,” Pierce said.

Shirley ignored the annoying man, and continued with the line of questioning. “Who can confirm that?”

Jeff’s mouth was talking before his brain was thinking. “Your mama.”

“What?” Shirley exclaimed, her face contorting with anger.

“While I’m--” Jeff started to say, only for Annie to grab his head and slam it into the table. Twice. “What the hell, Annie?!” he shouted. An ache started to spread from where his forehead had collided with the wood.

“Her name’s not Annie, it’s psycho,” Shirley snapped, her voice low and dangerous.

“That’s not the issue here,” Jeff shouted back at her.

Then the two of them were pulling out pizza cutters and brandishing kitchen implements and _what the hell was going on._

Britta slapped her hands down on the table, leaping to her feet. “Guys, guys, stop it. I did it,” she cried, and _thank every god out there_.

Something about having his neck bared with a blade held to it was making Jeff wary.

“I framed Jeff,” Britta confessed, her voice wavering like she was upset.

 _I’m the one with a pizza cutter at my throat, and_ she’s _upset?_

“I’m sorry Jeff.”

Annie asked, “But _why_?”

“Because I’m a buzzkill, that’s why. That’s who I am, that’s my role. You guys create fun and I destroy it. Of _course_ a silly little joke ends with a dead body on the lawn. I should have known that but I wanted to do it anyway. Cause I wanted to be like you, I wanted to be funny.”

And then Annie said something about her own worries, and then Shirley chimed in, and they were all having a crying session and Jeff _was still tied up_.

Abed moved to perch on the back of the chair beside Jeff, studying the other five with an entertained smile on his face.

“Hey, Abed,” Jeff said. “Why are you and I the only sane--?”

“Shh, just watch,” Abed told him, patting a hand on his shoulder. “It’s beautiful.”

Jeff waited a second, then asked, “Can I have some popcorn?”

“Sure,” Abed said, grabbing a handful of his popcorn and holding it so Jeff could eat some.

“You know what’s weird?” Jeff was sure the group couldn’t hear the two of them, huddling in a circle and wailing as they were, so said, “Pierce was actually right. I hooked up with a guy at the bar last night.”

“Maybe he really is psychic,” Abed said, looking even more entertained. “Ooh, that would be a good story: cult member discovers supernatural powers, much to the surprise of his cult.”

“Would it?” Jeff raised an eyebrow at Abed, who shrugged.

“I don’t know. I’m the middle of a different movie – Annie and Shirley’s one. Want to see the poster?”

Jeff sighed. He wasn’t getting out of his handcuffs anytime soon. “Sure.”

* * *

Contemporary American Poultry

Jeff had told them it would end like this, but he hadn’t honestly been sure; now, with the study group calling out his name and running towards him down the hallway, he knew he had been.

He stopped and turned around.

“Abed killed my backpack,” Annie said.

Britta nodded emphatically, lifting her hat up to show Jeff the comically large chunk of gum. “Look what Abed did to my hair.”

“He released Annie’s boobs.” Troy sounded on the verge of tears. “Annie’s boobs could be anywhere. Annie’s boobs could be--”

“We get it, the monkey’s name is Annie’s boobs,” Shirley interrupted.

“That little Arab is off his rocker,” Pierce said.

“I caught him stuffing my man full of chicken,” Shirley said. “Tyler Perry has a whole _series_ of movies about why that’s wrong.”

 _If the rumours in the dorms are correct, Abed did more with sexy dreadlocks than just feed him chicken,_ Jeff thought.

“I feel _terrible_ for _all_ of you,” he said, letting the sarcasm drip from his voice. “Wait, no, I don’t, because I warned you about all this, but you were so high on your backpacks and hairstyles that you accused me of being jealous.”

“You were right,” Annie said, “but what can we do?”

The words made Jeff pause, smiling. “I’m sorry, you brushed over that first part. Together.” He pulled out his phone, finding the voice record button and holding it out.

“You were right,” all five of them chorused, looking thoroughly dejected.

Jeff smiled to himself and saved the file. “What you can do is go home and write that on your bathroom mirror.”

Troy disagreed with him on that, and then a discussion started, but Jeff was able to silence them with a single gesture again.

Hiding his glee, Jeff said, “As for Abed, for his sake, I guess I’ll have to take him out.”

Everyone nods.

“I’m blaming all of you for this, though.”

“Oh, come on, that’s not fair,” Pierce said.

Britta shook her head. “No, it is.”

“Eh,” Annie said. “I’m not too bothered.”

Greendale’s kitchen was shockingly easy to break into, but Abed was stood by the fryer, and Jeff got pulled into a conversation.

“I just need to be able to make people happy,” Abed told him.

Jeff sighed. “Do you know why I’m here?”

“You got caught with a fake bachelor’s degree,” Abed answered easily. “By the way, they started using that as a seasonal arc on _Law & Order_. Total rip-off.”

“I’m here to dismantle the fryer.” Jeff leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest and looking over the cafeteria. “This has gone too far. You can’t use chicken to control people. That doesn’t make them happy. But don’t you see what happened? I manipulated the group into getting you this job so I could have some chicken. You’re the one who turned it into a way to make people like you.”

“I was acting like you,” Abed said. The words were simple, and honest, but they made Jeff hurt. “I sent the group a message, like you would.”

Jeff sighed. “You’re not me, Abed. You shouldn’t try to be. I am deeply messed up person. I _was_ jealous that people liked you more than, that you had more power, which is why I got angry and left.”

“That’s pretty alarming behaviour, Jeff,” Abed said, twisting to look at him.

“Yeah,” Jeff admitted. “It is.”

“You should probably talk to someone about that.”

Jeff huffed a self-deprecating laugh. “I’ll look into that. In the meantime, I’ll help you connect with people. And you’ll help me do a better job with them.”

“Like _Knight Rider_ ,” Abed said, excitement sparking on his face.

“Exactly. Exactly like _Knight Rider_.”

Abed smiled. “Deal.”

He held his hand out, and they shook.

“I’ll put on a leather jacket and make out with an aerobics instructor. You pull around front and comedically startle passers-by with your ability to talk.” He waggled his eyebrows.

“Maybe we should just stay here,” Jeff suggested. “Have a plate of chicken fingers.”

“Cool,” Abed said. “Cool, cool, cool. Can we eat them while sitting on a table like in _Sixteen Candles_?”

 _A romantic movie?_ Jeff’s face warmed, but he shoved his embarrassment away. “Pick one reference, Abed.”

Abed considered it for a moment, then decided on _Sixteen Candles_.

So they climbed up on the counter – and Jeff knew it wouldn’t be washed before food was served the next day, but couldn’t bring himself to care – and stuck two candles in a plate of chicken fingers and ate together.

Even in his fry-cook get-up, Jeff liked the way Abed looked in the dim light of the empty cafeteria with the candle-light flickering.

* * *

The Art of Discourse

Jeff was scrolling through his phone, deleting things to make space for a new download, when he came across his voice-recordings.

The first one, when he clicked it, played a chorus of, “ _You were right_ ,” and he grinned at the memory of the situation.

The second one, though, he didn’t remember making – and from the looks of things it was a good five minutes long. He pressed play, and then his voice blared from his cell phone’s speaker.

“ _Abed! I’m missing you so much, you need to come back right away, it’s been_ minutes _since you left_.”

Frowning, Jeff checked the date of the recording then mentally counted the days in his head. He’d made this on the night they’d gotten very, very, drunk to call Britta.

“ _I needed to tell you that I really, really, really, really like you. Like,_ really _, really like you._ ”

Jeff stopped the recording there. From the sound of it, he’d been drunk and Abed had left the dorm for a few minutes and he had tried to call him but accidentally recorded himself instead.

Taking a deep breath, he scrolled down and deleted it.

* * *

Modern Warfare

When Abed came sprinting around the corner, in his over-sized camo shirt and goggles, and pushed off from the wall, the first thing Jeff thought to do was duck.

The second thing he thought, once Abed had turned around and pushed his goggles up and said, “Come with me if you don’t want paint on your clothes,” was… _hot_.

Once they’d met up with Troy, and he and Abed explained the rules, Jeff took his shirt off and couldn’t help but wonder who, exactly, he wanted to show his muscles off to.

“Are the others in the game?” he asked, picking up the spare gun and inspecting it.

“You mean Britta?” Troy said.

Jeff cocked an eyebrow. “No, I don’t mean Britta. Did I say Britta?”

“Twice now.”

The rest of the study group seemed obsessed with the idea that he and Britta were attracted to each other, but Jeff knew that, while he thought she was pretty and had once wanted to sleep with her, he was over her now.

Before he could try and explain that, the door swung open and a Chess Club member was standing there, and the game began.

* * *

English as a Second Language

* * *

Pascal’s Triangle Revisited

Michelle kissing him didn’t feel right, and Jeff knew in that moment that he didn’t want to get back together with her.

That didn’t mean he wanted Britta to announce, in front of the entire dance, that she was in love with him.

But everyone was looking at him, staring at him, and expecting an answer, and the only thing Jeff could think was that _this was wrong_.

“Hey, man,” Troy said, sidling up next to him. “Just so you know, everyone here is waiting for your response.”

“Yeah, I kind of got that,” Jeff muttered.

Britta wanted him to tell her that he loved her too; Michelle wanted him to turn and kiss her; Jeff wanted to run.

And, because Jeff always took the easy route out, he turned to Troy and whispered: “Vomit.”

Troy blinked. “What the hell, man?”

“Throw up. On the floor. Please. Use the sick feeling from the cookie.”

Maybe it was the ‘please’ that did it, Jeff didn’t know, but Troy nodded, gave him a thumbs-up, and then turned to hurl his guts up all over the floor.

Jeff used the ensuing commotion to run.


	2. Season 2, part 1

Anthropology 101

Guilt that Jeff had done his absolute best to forget about over the summer resurfaced the second he walked into the study room.

Annie, still technically a teenager, grinned up at him and pressed herself into his chest when he tried to pat her shoulder in greeting, and it just made Jeff feel even worse.

 _She’s nineteen,_ he reminded himself. _She’s already been in a relationship. You were not her first kiss. You may not have pulled away, but you didn’t kiss_ her _. She kissed_ you _._

The terrible guilt roiling in his stomach only worsened when Annie stopped him in the hallway and started talking about make-out-meters and teenage magazines and shit.

When Annie slapped him, and something in his nose _cracked_ , anger overtook the guilt.

“You slept with her and then kissed me?!”

Troy and Shirley and Britta made horrified noises.

“What the hell, Annie?” Jeff shouted, raising his hand to hover above his nose. He didn’t touch it; the pain was already excruciating.

There was a stunned silence for a moment, where Shirley stared at him, her earlier excitement turned into horror. Even Troy looked shocked.

At that moment, someone started singing in the distance, and then Abed entered with a full wedding ensemble.

“What the hell is this?” Pierce demanded, jabbing a finger at the singer and Leonard and man dressed like a vicar.

“A wedding… episode,” Abed said easily, but Jeff knew him well enough to see the tension in his body, and the stiffness on his face.

 _Maybe he’s rushing along this thing with Britta because he wants you to realise that you’re being stupid,_ the dumb, irrational part of Jeff’s brain, that he left to rot, murmured. _Maybe he’s jealous_.

 _You’re being stupid_ , Jeff told himself. _You had sex with Britta and then shared a kiss with Annie and now you want Abed to like you. What part of that mess would he like?_

“Abed,” he said, sounding tired even to his own ears, “there’s no wedding.”

“Oh,” Abed said, and something unreadable flashed across his face. “Why? I hired George Clooney.”

The man standing next to Jeff, who bore little more than a passing resemblance to George Clooney, said, “What’s up?”

“He’s only an impersonator, but still. Razzle dazzle, am I right?”

Troy made a faint, pained, noise. “Abed.”

“Hmm?” Abed moved to stand next to Troy, the large bunch of ridiculous balloons trailing behind him

“Jeff made out with Annie.”

Abed’s eyes went very, very wide and he went very, very still. “What? When? Where?”

Britta nodded, turning to look at Jeff. Her arms were crossed over her chest. “Yeah, where?”

“That’s inappropriate,” Pierce said, “I’m assuming on the mouth.”

Everyone ignored him.

“After the transfer dance,” Annie said, twisting her hands together in a nervous gesture. She looked embarrassed now.

“Oh!” Britta’s face contorted with anger. “I tell you that I love you, then you go outside and stick your tongue into a teenager?”

“I did not stick my tongue into her!” Jeff shouted back. “We kissed for two seconds. I kissed that pool instructor for longer!”

“What is wrong with you, Jeffrey?” Shirley seemed genuinely distressed, her voice wavering slightly.

“At least I had the decency to be ashamed,” Jeff said, turning on Britta. “Instead of publicly blurting ‘I love you’ to everyone I sleep with!”

Britta scoffed. “I never loved you.”

“ _Then why did you say it_.”

The words echoed through the room, and Britta’s cheeks flushed and her back straightened. “I-I may not have loved you, but I didn’t want you to get back with Slater.”

“A-ha!” Jeff cried. “I win! In your face!”

“This was a game to you?” Shirley demanded, jabbing her finger at Jeff.

Annie nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. “It’s always a competition with them.”

“You’re one to talk,” Britta said. “How long did it take you to kiss Jeff after I told him I loved him? First Vaugh, now Jeff. I better not smile at that wall outlet or you’ll fry your tongue off!”

Annie gasped, taking a step back. “Telling someone you love them doesn’t give you a claim to them! Jeff _ran away_ _from you_. Doesn’t that tell you something?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to say!” Jeff shouted.

“Way to hog all the girls, Jeff,” Troy said, stepping forward and poking his chest. “You know, if there’s a box of doughnuts, you don’t eat one then lick another.”

Jeff scoffed. “Oh, because you’re _so_ honourable.”

Across the room, Abed, who had been quiet since he entered, picked up his bag.

“Where are you going?” Jeff asked. It didn’t escape his notice that his voice softened when he addressed Abed.

His face impassive, Abed said, “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you all cancelled.”

“Oh, yeah, cancel us. What about you, Abed?” Jeff wiped away some of the blood dribbling down into his mouth.

Abed stopped in the doorway. “I didn’t have sex on the study room table. I didn’t post my friend’s words on Twitter. I didn’t keep a secret for months on end.”

“Because you’re such an open book,” Jeff snorted. “How about you tell the rest of the group what you get up to in the dorms, huh?”

Abed stiffened, and when he turned to face Jeff, his face was blanker than Jeff had ever seen it.

He remembered that they weren’t the only ones in the room – realised that he’d crossed a line – a split second too late. A bucket of ice dropped over Jeff’s head, cooling his fury into dread.

“What’s he talking about, Abed?” Shirley asked, her voice dropping in volume.

The smooth twist of Abed’s neck was almost predatory. “Nothing. Jeff is talking about nothing.”

“Shit, I didn’t mean to say that--”

“What?” Troy asked, stepping forward. “What’s going on?”

Abed looked down at the ground.

From somewhere behind him, Annie whispered something to Britta, who murmured something back.

“Goodbye, Jeff,” Abed said. He left.

There was silence for a moment.

“What the hell got A-bed freaked out so bad?” Pierce asked.

Troy shook his head, and when he twisting to confront Jeff, he looked furious. “No one gets to upset Abed like that. What did you say to him?” He jabbed a finger into Jeff’s chest, moving into his personal space.

“Yeah, what did you say to him?” Britta asked, and this time Jeff turned to look at her. Both she and Annie were confused.

Something like hope rekindled in Jeff’s chest. “Did any of you hear what I said?”

Everyone shook their heads.

“Oh, thank God,” he muttered to himself.

Once everyone had left the hospital to go home and get some sleep, just Abed remained at the foot of Jeff’s bed.

There was silence for a moment. Jeff didn’t make eye contact, and wasn’t going to speak first.

“Troy told me that everyone’s confused about what you said,” Abed told him. “They were all too busy in their own arguments to hear.”

Jeff nodded. “I—I’m so sorry.”

“You shouldn’t have said that.”

“I know,” Jeff hurried to reply. “One of them could have looked into the rumours, which would have outed you. Me saying that was… so out of line I can’t begin to describe it.”

Abed hesitated for a second then reached forward to wrap his arms around Jeff. “It’s okay.”

Feeling his eyebrows climbing his forehead, Jeff asked, “Really?” a little incredulously.

“I told you,” Abed shrugged. “I don’t care if they find out. I didn’t like you telling one of my secrets.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry anyway,” Jeff said, patting Abed’s back as he rested his chin on his shoulder. “How can I make it up to you?”

Abed pulled back and made his considering face, then smiled. “You could do a proper wedding episode with Britta.”

Jeff huffed a laugh. “Don’t push it.”

* * *

Accounting for Lawyers

“Why did you pretend to like Alan?” Abed asked as he took a seat next to Jeff in the cafeteria.

“He’s useful to me,” Jeff said, dropping his cutlery and leaning back in his seat. “We had this talk yesterday, at the firm’s party.”

“I meant, why did you sleep with him?”

Jeff nearly choked on his food at the question, asked in Abed’s usual near-monotone. “Where did you come up with that idea?”

“I’m a student of human character,” Abed said. “Why did you sleep with him? You clearly don’t like him, but I couldn’t find the ulterior motive.”

Jeff took a deep breath in, then out. “Abed, that’s a very personal question.”

“Oh. It is? Sorry.”

Abed started on his food, and although he seemed willing to drop the subject, Jeff didn’t want to leave him with the wrong impression. “We slept together after big cases, sometimes. I didn’t like him, but that wasn’t the point.”

“Ooh.” Abed nodded, a knowing look in his eye as if he’d just solved a problem. “Hate sex. Interesting.” With that proclamation, and another mystery solved, he walked off before Jeff could tell him he was wrong.

“No, that’s not—”

* * *

The Psychology of Letting Go

“What counts as a pregnancy scare?”

The question, out-of-the-blue as it was, startled Jeff. He and Abed were on Abed’s couch, watching one of the first episodes of M*A*S*H, and nothing had been said for a while.

“It’s when someone you had sex with thinks they’re pregnant with your baby.”

Abed nodded. “Okay.”

When nothing more was said for a minute, Jeff let his head flop to one side so he could get a proper look at Abed. “Why do you ask?”

“It’s common for characters to have a pregnancy scares in college,” Abed said.

“No, I mean, why are you asking right now?”

Abed shrugged. “I had sex with Stella eight and half months ago. She said she thought her baby was mine.”

Jeff jerked bolt upright, his eyes going wide as shock coursed through him. “Jesus, Abed. You should have said!”

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s not my baby,” Abed said, still relaxed as he chewed on a piece of popcorn.

“And you know that because…?”

“The hospital did a DNA test when it was born.”

Jeff blinked. “Wait, what?”

“I helped Stella give birth,” Abed said, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. “It turned out to be Arthur’s baby, but they’re happy together.”

It took a moment to process the words, but once he had, Jeff slowly slouched back into the couch. “Huh. Who’s Arthur?”

“Stella’s boyfriend. They were on break when we slept together, but Stella didn’t tell him that the baby might be mine. He got annoyed earlier, so I had to run away, but he was fine with me helping once her water broke.”

“ _Damn_ , Abed. You really did have an exciting day,” Jeff said.

Abed shushed him, pointing a finger at the TV. “Be quiet, this is a really good part.”

* * *

Basic Rocket Science

As soon as Abed said, “I can’t imagine anything that would have been cooler than what I’ve done today,” Jeff knew something was going to go wrong.

A second later, when the inside of the simulator exploded and flames came billowing out of the door, he was proven right.

“Okay, that was cooler,” Abed admitted.

“Nah, you should have seen it,” Troy said, coming up from behind him to sling an arm over Jeff’s shoulder. “We were awesome.”

“You should have been with us on the ship,” Jeff told Abed very seriously.

“Someone had to be at mission control,” Abed replied. “Though… I have a question for you about something.”

“Okay, shoot,” Jeff said.

“The Dean had a map with thumbs drawn next to truck stops, except he said they weren’t thumbs. Were they--”

Jeff cut Abed off before he could finish his question. “Yep, they were.”

“Were they what?” Troy asked, glancing between the two of them. “The Dean drew things next to truck stops, what do you mean?”

“Nothing you need to know,” Jeff said.

“Nope, you’re fine,” Abed agreed.

Troy frowned. “But I want to know.”

“Give it a few years,” Jeff told him, patting his shoulder. “You’ll find out at some point.”

“You told Abed,” Troy complained.

Jeff raised an eyebrow. “Abed’s older than you.”

“Only by four years,” Troy muttered under his breath.

“It’s not something you need to know,” Abed said, then tilted his head to one side. “I had an idea while you were gone. Want to make a space film?”

Troy’s face lit up with childish glee. “Yeah! Awesome!”

The two of them started off into the crowd, and Jeff watched them go with a smile on his face.

* * *

Messianic Myths and People

Jeff’s first thought when he saw Abed with long hair and billowing white shirt was: _pretty_.

He didn’t _say_ that, because they were in the study room and it wasn’t the kind of thing he could say in front of his friends while they still thought he was straight. But he thought it, and it stayed on his mind all day.

Later, when school had finished and he was at home, watching some crap on the TV with a glass of wine while it poured down outside, his cell phone buzzed with an incoming call.

“Hello?”

Something on the other end of the line crackled. “ _Jeff, it’s me_.”

“Abed?” Jeff said. “Are you okay?”

There was a pause, then Abed said, “ _Yeah, I’m fine_.”

“Okay,” Jeff said, then, “Why are you calling me? Not that it’s a problem, but we normally just text.”

“ _My film wasn’t great_ ,” Abed said. “ _Scratch that. My film was a piece of shit. The worst piece of shit I’ve ever seen in my life_.”

“Well, damn,” Jeff said. “Sorry, I know you worked hard on it.”

“ _I was arrogant. Too arrogant._ ”

“What did people say?”

There was another pause, and the sound of breathing. “ _Shirley—she destroyed all the copies of it, before anyone else saw_.”

Jeff’s eyebrows shot up. “Well, _damn_. I did not see that one coming.”

“ _Yeah_ ,” Abed said. “ _Me neither_.” There was loud honk, and the sound of swearing in the background.

Frowning, Jeff asked again, “Are you okay, Abed?”

“ _I’m fine,_ ” Abed said again.

Jeff didn’t believe him. “Where are you?”

“ _I’m walking._ ”

“Walking where?”

“ _Just…walking_.”

“It’s raining really heavily,” Jeff said, glancing out the window again. He hadn’t bothered to pull the curtains shut earlier. “You must be soaked.”

“ _I don’t want to go home right now_.”

 _That’s not good_. “Why not?”

“ _There’s too many films. I made a bad film._ ”

“Do you want to come over to mine?” Jeff asked.

Abed didn’t say anything.

“You’ve been here before. You know I have hardly any films here.”

“ _Sure,_ ” Abed said after a few moments. “ _I’d like that._ ”

Jeff sprang to his feet, grabbing a jacket and his car keys. “Great. Where are you?”

Abed didn’t know his exact location, but described the shops near him.

It took Jeff half an hour to find him in his car, during which the rain started to come down even harder. By the time he stopped by the KFC they’d decided as a meeting point, it was pounding the roof of the car like a drum, and Jeff could barely make out the figures walking by.

When he couldn’t spot Abed, he gritted his teeth and pulled his hood up before pushing his door open and stepping out of the car. Within seconds, he was soaked, his fashionable jacket not waterproof at all, but he just slammed the door shut behind and squinted through the rain.

“Abed?”

There was a small figure sitting on the ground, wearing a stupid white shirt, and Jeff let out a string of curses when he saw him; Abed was hunched in on himself, his arms wrapped around his knees.

“Abed!”

Jeff crouched down beside his friend. Abed looked up, water sliding down his face and catching in his eyelashes, his expression was inscrutable. “Jeff.”

“Come on, let’s get you somewhere warm and dry.”

When Jeff offered his arm to him, Abed took it, stumbling against him as he trembled on his legs like a new-born fawn. It wasn’t long, though, before they were both sat in the (increasingly wet) car.

“Let’s get back to mine,” Jeff murmured, starting the car and turning around to head back to his.

They drove in silence, Abed just staring out of the window while Jeff focused on the road. When they finally got back to Jeff’s, and took the elevator up, and were through the door, he could finally give his full attention to Abed.

The white shirt – still the billowy one he’d worn for his role – was like paper, coating him as a second skin. He’d removed his wig already, too, so his hair was dripping even more water in his eyes.

Jeff hurried to get a towel, leaving Abed standing quietly in his living room. When he returned a moment later with the biggest, fluffiest towel he owned, Abed was still there.

“Here you go,” he murmured, handing it to him.

With slow movements, Abed started to dry himself off; first, his face, then his hair, and then he wrapped it around his shoulders.

“That shirt is unsalvageable,” Jeff said. “Do you want to borrow some clothes?”

Abed hesitated, then nodded. “Yes.”

Jeff smiled, a real, proper genuine smile, and then went back to his room to find some of his clothes. He managed to scrounge up a soft t-shirt that seemed like something Abed would wear, and a pair of jeans that were going to be too big, and when he returned to Abed again, he looked a little more alert. He was also beginning to shiver.

“Here you go,” Jeff said. “Do you want to take a shower?”

Abed nodded. The movement was stiff. “Thanks, Jeff.”

“No problem,” he replied, holding the clothes out.

Abed took them, slowly walking to the bathroom and closing the door behind him. Once he had, Jeff went to the cupboard by the door, where he’d stacked the half-dozen blankets that he’d purchased since the last time Abed had visited, and got to work.

By the time Abed opened the door to the bathroom, the living room was far more homely, with blankets and cushions spread on the couches.

“I feel better now,” Abed said. The old, baggy t-shirt was baggy on his stick-thin body, and the he’d had to roll up the jeans. His hair was ruffled and wet, but, true to his word, he looked more alert. “Thank you for coming to find me.”

He moved across the room, his footsteps near-silent on the carpeted floor, and settled down on the couch next to Jeff. Immediately, he latched onto a fluffy blanket and pulled it tight around himself.

“Want to tell me what happened?”

Abed shrugged, but the stiffness in his muscles made the motion far from relaxed. “I’ve been making a religious film, and everyone’s been involved with it, but then when I saw it… it was terrible. I went outside to pray, to hope it was destroyed, and… I think Shirley heard me? Before the viewing started, she came in and smashed everything up. After that, I freaked out a little.”

“Just a little?” Jeff snorted. “Are you feeling better now?”

Abed nodded, his lips turning up into a smile. “I like your shower. It’s like a waterfall.”

“Could you… try not to do that again,” Jeff said.

“Do what?”

Jeff gave him a look. “Get lost in the torrential rain.”

“You’re right,” Abed said. “I should put a tracker on myself.”

“No!” Jeff shook his head, rolling his eyes. “Next time you’re feeling like running off into the night, call someone first.” He paused. “Actually, why did you call me?”

“Troy wanted to watch my film too,” Abed shrugged. “You’re uninvested. Besides, Troy is my best friend but neither of us are very responsible. I felt like calling you.”

“Huh.”

“Why does that surprise you?” Abed asked.

Jeff considered his response for a moment. “Well, I guess I thought that Troy would always be the first person you would call.”

“Troy’s my best friend,” Abed repeated. “I wanted to see you. I…” he paused, “I like you.”

Jeff blinked. “What?”

“I like you.” This time, Abed said it with more surety, as if repeating it gave him confidence. “I like you romantically.”

“Oh.” Jeff could feel his cheeks flushing with heat, but there was a warm feeling growing in his chest and a smile spreading on his face without his permission. “I like you too.”

Abed smiled at him. “Good. Can I kiss you?”

Before his nerves could get in the way, Jeff leaned forward; Abed met him halfway, and they were kissing.

Again.

Jeff pulled back after a second, when his phone rang.

He considered leaving it to go to voicemail, but then he saw it was from Greendale. “Sorry.”

“It’s cool,” Abed told him.

Jeff accepted the call, listened to the woman tell him that he was Pierce Hawthorne’s emergency contact and could he please come and collect him, then hung up and let his head flop back against the couch.

“What was it?” Abed asked.

Groaning, Jeff said, “Pierce is in trouble.”

“Are you going to go pick him up?”

“I don’t want to,” Jeff said, even as he got to his feet. “Sorry, Abed.”

Abed grinned at him, jumping to his feet too and readjusting the blanket to stay wrapped around him. “I’ll come with you. We can talk on the way.”

Jeff smiled back at him.

“So, are we boyfriends now?” was the first question Abed asked when they got in the car.

Normally, Jeff would have ummm-ed and ahhhh-ed and said ‘I’ll think about it’, but he’d known Abed for over a year. He’d had a crush (was there a less childish term?) on him for a few months. He knew Abed wasn’t going to push him.

“Yes,” he said. “If you want to be.”

Abed nodded. “Cool. Cool, cool.”

“Would you… like to go out on a date sometime?” Jeff asked, looking across at Abed. The other man was curled up in the passenger’s seat in a fluffy red cocoon.

“I would,” Abed said.

“Are you free this weekend?”

Abed considered it for a second, then shook his head. “Troy and I are busy this weekend.”

“This Friday?”

“Friday sounds good,” Abed said, nodding. “What are we going to do? I haven’t been on a date before. Well, I went on one in High School but she was only doing it to make fun of me.”

Jeff shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t go on that many dates either. I’ll come up with something.”

“Cool,” Abed said, and shot him finger guns. “Do you want to tell the study group?”

Jeff tensed, his knuckles whitening as he clenched his hands on the steering wheel. “I’d rather wait a few weeks. I’m…”

“It’s cool,” Abed told him, reaching over to pat his forearm. “I understand.”

At the contact, Jeff relaxed again, just as he pulled into the school.

Surprisingly, Pierce didn’t mention the fact Jeff had another man in his car – perhaps because said man was Abed, who he normally tried to avoid. Less surprisingly, Pierce did complain about having to sit in the backseat.

Then, for the short journey to his mansion, he sat in silence with his arms crossed as he stared out of the window.

“It wasn’t my fault,” he muttered as Jeff pulled up by the gate of his mansion.

“Great,” Jeff said. “Now get out. It’s late.”

Pierce grumbled as he got out of the car; it was a couple of minutes’ walk to his front door, but the weather had calmed to a drizzle. Jeff wasn’t worried about him.

As soon as Pierce was out of sight, Jeff turned to Abed and raised an eyebrow.

“Do you want me to take you back to the dorms?”

Abed shook his head. “Could I stay at your place tonight? It’s warm there. Not for sex.”

“Sure,” Jeff said, smiling at Abed as he put the car into reverse and started back to his apartment.

* * *

Epidemiology

“These are bite marks,” Abed said as he inspected Jeff’s arms. He’d half-peeled one of the bandages off.

“Sure they are, Abed,” Jeff said, but instead of sarcastic he was just tired. “The guy who roofied us decided to go around biting people.”

“Maybe a dog got loose,” Troy said, his eyes gleaming as he turned away from the film they were watching. “Maybe it was a werewolf! At the next full moon, I bet you we’re all going to turn into werewolves.”

“Do you think these are going to scar?” Abed asked, prodding one of Jeff’s wounds. He hissed in pain, pulling back. “That would be awesome.”

Jeff rolled his eyes, patting the peeling bandage flat. “No, I don’t think they’re going to scar.”

“Aww,” Troy said, his face falling. “I’ve always wanted a cool scar. Bite marks are about as cool as it gets.”

“Slashes across the eye,” Abed countered.

“Okay, those are cooler.”

Jeff sighed. “If these do scar, what do we tell people? ‘Oh, yes, I got these four bite marks from an unknown thing on a night I’ve forgotten’.”

“Just say you were bit by a dog,” Troy said, “or, at least, you can. I’m going to tell everyone a werewolf attacked me.”

“Cool!” Abed smiled. “Same werewolf?”

Troy grinned. “Of course.”

“We should say that Jeff was the one who bit us,” Abed said, pointing at Jeff, who rolled his eyes again and ate a handful of popcorn. “Everyone would believe that, he’s grumpy enough.”

“Awesome idea,” Troy said. “Run away screaming now?”

Abed nodded. “Run away screaming now.”

They ran away screaming, disrupting the bowl of popcorn in the process, leaving Jeff sitting on Abed’s couch with popcorn scattered everywhere and a long-forgotten movie playing in the background.

* * *

Aerodynamics of Gender

“I heard you were being mean to some people today,” Jeff said, handing Abed a glass of special drink. He sat down next to him, then took a sip from his own glass of wine.

“I was,” Abed admitted. “I gave my destruct codes to Meghan and she stopped me.”

“Oh, Meghan,” Jeff said. “She can be a bitch.”

“It’s cool. She and I know each other.”

Jeff’s eyebrow rose. “Oh?”

“We had a one night-stand last year,” Abed said casually. “Troy said you and him had a weird day.”

Jeff huffed a laugh, nodding. “You could say that.”

“I like it when you two are friends,” Abed continued. “Troy’s my best friend. You’re my boyfriend.”

Smiling, Jeff leant forward to give Abed a soft kiss. “Troy and I were already friends.”

“I know,” Abed said. “But still. Also, sorry about being mean about your boots earlier.”

“I’m not bothered,” Jeff told him. “I think… Troy and I were kind of high? We hadn’t smoked anything, but my memory is blurry. What did you say about them?”

“‘Two-thousand and eight called to tell you that even in two-thousand and eight those were tacky’,” Abed recited.

Jeff was impressed. “That’s a good insult. Probably would have hurt if I hadn’t been kind-of-high.”

“That’s why I said it. I’m glad you don’t remember it. I don’t like hurting you.”

Abed leant forward, and their lips met for another kiss.

* * *

Cooperative Calligraphy

When Jeff took his shirt off, the upturned table failing to hide his upper chest, it took a few seconds for Annie and Britta and Shirley and Troy to realise what the purple marks adorning Jeff’s collarbone were. Once they had, a chorus of gasps filled the room.

“Oh, my goodness, Jeffrey, you look like you’ve been attacked by an animal,” Shirley said, clutching a hand to her chest.

“Really? You were going to go on a date with all that still there?” Britta was a mix of impressed and horrified.

Troy, however, looked delighted. “That’s awesome, man. You’re awesome.”

“Jeff, that’s really disrespectful to this Gwynnifer,” Annie told him, her voice rising in pitch like it always did when she was upset.

Jeff did his absolute best to not glance at Abed out of the corner of his eye. “I _really_ don’t see how it’s any of your business.”

“Well, I don’t see--” Pierce started, and everyone shut their mouths for fear that he would take the conversation somewhere they didn’t want it to go.

“Uh… nice underwear,” Troy offered Jeff, likely in the hope it would distract everyone.

“Gwynnifer? Really?” Abed shook his head. “If you’re making up a name for me, can I be Leia?”

“Don’t you think that’s a little obvious?” Jeff replied, raising an eyebrow.

Abed made his considering face, stopping a few metres away from the crowd forming around the puppy parade. The others had already gone ahead. “Ellen, like Ellen Ripley?”

“That’s the film you and Troy dressed up as characters from for Halloween,” Jeff reminded him.

“Oh. How about Zoe, like Zoe Washburne in Firefly?”

Jeff gave an exasperated sigh, even as he couldn’t help the small smile spreading on his face. “Sure, Abed.”

“ _Nice_.” Abed turned, searching the crowd for Troy. “Look at the puppies.”

“They’re very cute,” Jeff agreed. “I’ve got… things to do. I’ll see you later?”

Abed nodded. “Sure. See you later, Jeff.”

* * *

Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design

Resting his arms around Abed’s waist, Jeff let himself get pulled in for a kiss.

“I have to go soon,” Abed said. “Troy’s coming over so we can make a cardboard submarine.”

Jeff leant down for another kiss. “I hope you have fun.”

“I always have fun with Troy,” Abed said. “Our blanket fort was awesome.”

“I know, I saw it,” Jeff responded, a little amused.

“I like blanket forts. They’re all soft. It’s like you’re wrapped in a blanket, but hundreds of them.”

“A very eloquent description,” Jeff commented.

Abed smiled. “Yeah.” He went up for another kiss, only to pull away when the floor board outside his door creaked; that was the sign that someone was about to open the door.

Sure enough, Jeff only had a second to straighten his shirt before Troy burst in, wearing his excited grin. He paused when he saw Jeff.

“Jeff and I were watching _Predator_ ,” Abed lied, with prompting. “I invited him over this morning.”

Actually, Jeff had spent the night there, but Troy didn’t need to know that.

“Oh, cool,” Troy said. “Is he going to make the submarine with us?”

“I was actually… just leaving,” Jeff said, picking up his coat from the couch arm, where he’d left it the previous night. “I have an… appointment. Soon.” He turned, a bit stiffly, to Abed. “I’ll see both of you tomorrow.”

“Bye Jeff,” Abed called out as he left, giving a small wave.

Just before he closed the door behind him, Jeff heard Troy ask, “So are we going to make this portable?”

Smiling to himself, Jeff sauntered down the hallway. Some people may have been jealous of their boyfriend having another, extremely close, male friend, but Jeff knew Troy and Abed well enough to know that they weren’t anything more than that.

* * *

Mixology Certification

[“Abed, do you want to have gay sex with me?” the guy flirting with Abed, Robert, asked.

“Oh. No, thank you.”

“ _Wow_ ,” Robert said, sitting back. His face contorted with an expression, but Abed didn’t know what it meant. Based on the tone of his voice, he was angry. “Okay, so, what is wrong with you that you can sit here this whole time and never pick up on the fact that a man is hitting on you?”

“Oh, I actually did pick up on it.”

For some reason, that response seemed to make Robert more annoyed. “And?”

“I have a boyfriend. I just really, really like talking about _Farscape_.”

Robert threw a drink in Abed’s face and stormed off.]

When Troy returned from helping Britta to her door, Jeff and Abed were making out in the backseat of the car. He stopped short, halfway through the door.

“ _Oh_!”

Abed pulled away from the kiss, looking across at his friend.

“This is, um.” Troy wasn’t sure what to say; he hadn’t known either Jeff or Abed were interested in men. “How long has this been going on? Is this a new thing?”

Jeff squinted up at him. “Troy. What are you doing here?”

“I’m driving you home, man,” Troy said. “At least I _was_. Until you started kissing my best friend. Why didn’t I know about this?”

“Cause ‘m scared,” Jeff mumbled, letting his head flop back onto the headrest. “What’s Shirley gonna say? I can’t be out to her.”

“We should have this conversation tomorrow,” Abed said. “Troy, do you want to go over to Jeff’s tomorrow?”

“Stay over tonight,” Jeff said, gesturing to the both of them. “Troy can’t walk, this is my car!”

“He’s got a point,” Troy shrugged. “Alright, I’ll sleep on your couch tonight, Jeff, but you’re going to tell me what’s going on between you two tomorrow.”

“Yay,” Abed said, a stupidly happy smile on his face. “I like Troy knowing. I want Troy to know.”

The next morning, Jeff woke tangled his sheets with a pounding headache. Next to him, lying stick-straight like he usually did, Abed was asleep. Jeff called his name, and he bolted upright.

“Abed, did Troy find out about us last night?” Jeff rubbed a hand over his eyes, trying to clear some of the gunk that had accumulated there.

Abed paused then said, “I think so.”

Jeff let himself flop back down, his arms spread out as he stared up at his boring ceiling. “Oh.”

“He’ll be cool with it,” Abed said, leaning over so his face was in Jeff’s line of sight. “Trust me.”

“Are you sure?” Jeff asked, hating how vulnerable he sounded.

Abed nodded, his earnest expression in place. “Uh-huh.”

Breakfast was awkward, with Troy squinting at the two of them suspiciously as if trying to figure something out.

Eventually, after ten minutes of that, Jeff found the courage to ask, “Why are you looking like that?”

“I’m trying to figure out how long you’ve been dating,” Troy answered. “Were you dating by the blanket fort? I don’t know. You two are _really_ good at hiding it.”

“We’ve been dating for one month and fourteen days,” Abed said. “Since the twenty-second of October.”

“Wait, really? That’s both longer and shorter than I expected.” Troy frowned. “Were you doing the secret relationship trope?”

Jeff let out a deep sigh and set down his bagel. “No.”

“Jeff isn’t ready to come out to the group yet,” Abed explained. “He’s worried about how they’ll react.”

Troy nodded knowingly. “That’s fair. Are you bi?”

“Yeah,” Jeff said. “I am.”

“Cool,” Troy said. “So how much does it matter if I accidentally let this slip?”

Rolling his eyes, Jeff leant back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Troy’s really bad at keeping secrets,” Abed muttered to him in a low voice.

“I know.” Jeff’s voice was tight.

Troy glanced between the two of them, his face concerned. “I’m normally fine as long as no one else brings it up.”

“I’d rather you didn’t bring it up at all.”

Troy considered his response for a second, then nodded seriously. “I will do my absolute best.”

“Well, that’s as good as we’re going to get,” Jeff said. He collected up the plates they’d finished eating from, and strode into the kitchen. Troy and Abed heard the plates clatter as they were set down on the counter.

“Jeff’s acting weird because he hasn’t really come out to people before,” Abed told Troy. “Apart from me, all he’s done is have one night-stands with men and that’s not the same thing. And now you know too.”

Troy nodded. “It’s cool. If I had someone find out one of my deepest secrets, I’d be weird too.”

“Now,” Abed said, grinning, “what do you want to do for your birthday?”

* * *

Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas

When Abed first announced that they were stop-motion animated, Jeff didn’t make the connection between that and the date; didn’t think to put Abed’s worry the night before, and his mental breakdown, together. Later, he would kick himself for it.

* * *

Asian Population Studies

“I’m sorry all that stuff got dragged out about me having a crush on somebody.”

Jeff blinked, looked up from his phone, saw Annie’s small smile, and frowned. “Why would you be sorry about that?”

Annie gave a slight laugh. “You know, awkward.”

 _I don’t like the direction this is heading in_.

“Why would it be awkward?” Jeff asked, his frown deepening. “We kissed. Once. I’m over it. You don’t think I care about that stuff, do you?”

Annie’s face fell. “No, I just didn’t want you to think I thought you cared,” she said, the words coming out in a rush as she straightened.

“What?” Jeff was more than a little confused by the whole conversation. Did Annie think he was romantically interested in her?

Then Duncan walked in, announced he was trying sobriety for a change, and things got distracted. And then _Rich_ walked in.

[“What is this, what’s going on?” Chang demanded as he slowly walked into the study room.

Abed, the nearest person, answered, “It’s a mixer.”

“Why is everyone from Anthro class here?” Chang asked. “Are you guys picking a new study group member? And you didn’t invite _me_?”

“We didn’t know how to reach you,” Abed tried.

“What are you talking about? I’m everywhere.”

Abed had to admit that that was true. “We didn’t know how to reach you.”

“That’s not true. That’s a lie.” Chang spoke slowly, as if to a child.

That let Abed know it was working. He twisted his head to one side, faking his robotic voice, and repeated, “It’s a mixer. We didn’t know how to reach you. It’s a mixer. It’s a mixer. It’s a mixer.”

After the third time, Chang made an exasperated noise and stalked off, leaving Abed to smile to himself. “Works every time.”]

“Jeff, I’m sick of this!” Annie said. “One minute, I’m too young to date, the next you’re trying to get rid of guys I like. Either you want me, or you don’t. What’s it going to be?”

Jeff took a deep breath in. “Annie,” he said in his most measured, reasonable voice, “I don’t want you.”

She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Yeah, right.”

“Let me finish,” Jeff interrupted. “I don’t want you. But I’m your friend, and I don’t like seeing you date men who I don’t trust.”

“Yeah? Well, guess what: that’s not your decision. Also, worst lie _ever_.”

“I’m not lying,” Jeff said.

“Really?” Annie gave a scorning look. “We’ve been having…moments _all year.”_

Taking another deep breath in, Jeff said, “I’m actually dating someone at the moment. I have been for…coming up on three months.”

Annie’s mouth dropped open, and she took a step backwards. “You’re…what? But…I thought…”

“I know we kissed last year,” Jeff said, “but that was a mistake. I’m sorry, but anything…happening between us this year…didn’t actually happen. I just respect you as a friend, nothing more.”

Hunching in on herself slightly, Annie’s cheeks were darkening more and more as every second passed. “Oh…I’m so sorry Jeff…I…” She ran out of the bathroom.

Jeff shared a smile with Andre as the other man walked back inside, then gave really, truly, proper one to Abed when he joined him.

“Hey,” Jeff said.

Abed held up his phone. “Annie just texted me. She asked Rich out, and wanted me to tell you.”

“Hm,” Jeff said.

“Why?”

Jeff let out a deep sigh, looking out at the pouring rain. “We had an argument in the bathroom, she thought I was interested in her. Romantically. I explained that I wasn’t, she didn’t believe me, then I told her I’d been dating you.”

Surprise was scrawled across Abed’s face when Jeff looked back at him. “You told her we were dating?”

“Not you specifically, no. Sorry, I didn’t realise how that sounded.”

Abed shrugged. “It’s okay. I’m fine keeping it from the study group for a bit longer, and I’m glad that Troy knows.”

Jeff huffed a laugh. “Yeah, it’s pretty pathetic, huh?”

“I don’t think it’s pathetic,” Abed told him. “I think that you’ve spent the last year and a half hearing Pierce call you gay, and Shirley saying homophobic things, and the rest of your life around people who might not even believe in bisexuality. It’s not a big deal, I know that you’re insecure about some things.”

“When did you get so wise?” Jeff asked, somewhat rhetorically. “You’re too young to be so much wiser than I am.”

Abed smiled across at him. “I’m twenty-four. And TV teaches you a lot.” He paused, then said, “Rich said no.”

Jeff blinked. “What?”

“He said that she’s great, but too young.”

“Well, fuck.” Jeff wasn’t sure what to say. Luckily, he’d spent a lifetime thinking on his feet. “He really is a good person.”

Abed made a doubtful noise. “I don’t know. You were right: we don’t know anything about him. Why is a doctor attending community college? Why is a paediatrician used to seeing sliced-off fingers? Why _was_ he so good at pottery?”

“Maybe,” Jeff said. “But I’m glad he said no. He is too old for Annie.”

“Are you too old for Annie?” Abed asked.

Jeff gave him a look, that Abed seemed to recognize by this point despite not being good with facial expressions. “Far too old. It was creepy of me to kiss her. I see that now. I saw that as I saw doing it, I just didn’t care. Besides, I’m not interested in her anyway. I have a great boyfriend of my own.”

They shared a smile, and Jeff held out his hand for Abed to take.

“Are you sure you want to hold my hand at school?” Abed asked, glancing behind them to the study room. “Someone might see us.”

Jeff shrugged, and when Abed took his hand he squeezed it. “I doubt it.”

* * *

Celebrity Pharmacology

“Abed, we screwed up,” Jeff said. “You know that text we sent? It was to Britta’s nephew. He sent her an emotipenis. What are we going to do?”

Abed gave him a look. Old Jeff might have thought his face was blank; New Jeff, who had been dating Abed for three months, knew that his expression was about as judgmental as he got.

“Fine,” Jeff said when Abed didn’t reply. “Screw you, Abed. I can fix this.” He started typing into the phone, reading the message aloud. “‘Marcus, I made a mistake, I texted the wrong person last night.’”

He showed the text to Abed once he’d sent it, but the cell phone chimed with another text almost immediately.

“‘You called me by name. It wasn’t a mistake. Don’t be afraid.’”

Looking to Abed for help again, all Jeff got was the judgmental face.

“Screw you, Abed!” Jeff returned to the phone. “‘I was drunk. We can’t do this.’”

The phone beeped again.

“‘I’m drunk too. On lust.’ There’s a picture.” Jeff looked at the picture Britta’s nephew had sent. “Oh, that’s disappointing. Wow.” He showed it to Abed. “Who does that?”

Abed’s expression somehow got even more judgmental.

A week later, once the play was over, Jeff was sat in the cafeteria when he heard something out of place behind him, something he’d grown used to hearing over the past few weeks – the swoosh of fabric. A second later, a familiar black cape flew in front of his eyes and over his tray; when Abed pulled back, his food went clattering to the floor.

“Abed…” Jeff groaned, turning to give his boyfriend an annoyed look.

Abed stood there for a moment, then turned and sprinted off.

“Show’s going to last three weeks,” Jeff called after him. It wasn’t the first time they’d had that conversation.

Abed shouted back, “Six seasons and a movie!”


	3. Season 2, part 2

Advanced Dungeons and Dragons

When Abed said that there was a beautiful and mysterious elf maiden flirting with him, Jeff’s first thought was to stiffly respond, “I flirt back.”

“How?”

“I say something sexy.”

“Like what?”

Jeff barely suppressed his grimace. He wasn’t particularly comfortable with public displays of affection, and flirting with his boyfriend in front of his friends – who weren’t even aware of their relationship – was even worse.

“Abed…”

Abed just blinked at him; Jeff wasn’t sure if his discomfort was clear.

“Excuse me,” Jeff tried, dropping his voice, “I don’t normally do this but…you are the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen. And I would really love a Pegasus.”

Troy was glancing between the two of them, his face twisting as if trying to figure something out.

“Ugh,” Britta groaned, Annie joining her by pulling a disgusted face, but Shirley sighed contentedly.

“You’re very handsome, you know,” Abed said, putting on the voice of the elf maiden.

“Yeah…” Jeff shifted in his seat. “Well, I’m not really comfortable with this, Abed.”

“My stable has bedding of heather,” Abed said anyway. “Perhaps you’d be more comfortable indoors.”

Jeff crossed his arms, gripping his fingers tightly so they didn’t start to twitch. “Abed, try and understand that I don’t want to do this.”

“You’ve offended the elf maiden,” Abed responded, looking away. “She seems disinterested in doing business with you today.”

Grimacing, Jeff slouched back in his seat.

“Um, Abed,” Troy said, glancing between Jeff and Abed, “I don’t think that Jeff – I mean Marrrr – is comfortable with doing this, you know, flirting.”

“Can we just do this?” Annie interrupted, and started detailing what _she_ would do to the elf maiden.

Jeff wasn’t much more comfortable with Annie telling his boyfriend exactly what she would do to him, but he didn’t say anything.

In the break, Troy kept trying to make eye contact with Jeff across the table, but Jeff ignored him in favor of pulling out his phone and tapping away at it to give himself something to do. He didn’t need Troy getting involved; he was fine.

“Okay, I’m getting involved,” Troy said when just he and Abed were still in the study room that evening. He moved so he was fully facing Abed and laid his hands on his shoulders. “Abed, you made Jeff uncomfortable earlier.”

Abed blinked. “When?”

“With the whole flirting thing. You were the one who told me that Jeff’s not ready to come out the others, why do you think he would be comfortable flirting with his boyfriend in front of them?”

“But I wasn’t being his boyfriend,” Abed said blankly. “I was an elf maiden. That was the story. I would have flirted with Marrrr even if Jeff weren’t my boyfriend.”

Troy shook his head. “That’s not the point, man. You made Jeff uncomfortable, and he told you he was uncomfortable, but you kept going anyway. That’s not okay.”

“But when he said that, I flirted with Annie instead.” Abed’s brow was furrowed, his head tilted, as he wore his confused expression.

“That’s worse,” Troy told him. “How would you feel if Jeff described, in excruciating detail, having sex with someone else?”

Abed blinked. “I…wouldn’t like it.”

“I’m not saying you can’t do this stuff,” Troy said, “but you need to talk to your boyfriend about it first, okay?”

Abed hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “I was inconsiderate of Jeff’s thoughts and feelings and put him into a situation where he was uncomfortable. I shouldn’t do it again, and I should apologize to him.”

Troy grinned, nodded, and clapped Abed on the shoulder. “Yeah.”

“Cool,” Abed said, then frowned. “I mean, not cool. But thanks.”

He left the room at a pace faster than he normally walked.

“Jeff, I’ve come to apologize,” Abed called through the door, and Jeff squinted through the peephole in his front door for another moment before opening it.

Abed visibly relaxed upon seeing him, but there was still a determined look on his face. “Okay. I’m sorry for trying to make you flirt with me in front of everyone earlier, I didn’t think through what that would be like for you. I’m also sorry for continuing even when you said you weren’t comfortable. I’m also, also, sorry for having verbal-sex with Annie, I didn’t think that through either.”

Jeff hesitated. “Thanks for the, um, apology. Don’t worry about it, though. I know you weren’t thinking, and you find it hard to read people’s faces.”

“That doesn’t excuse my behavior. Troy explained the problems with what I did, and then I thought about it some more on the way over here, and I realized I made you really uncomfortable. And I don’t like making you uncomfortable. I like it when you’re comfortable. So…I’m sorry.”

Jeff nodded. “Thanks, Abed.” He stepped back, and Abed moved into the apartment, then closed the door behind him.

“You have the blankets out?” Abed pointed to the colorful fluffy blankets crumpled up on the couches. “I thought you only got them out when I come over.”

Jeff could feel his cheeks warming, so he broke eye-contact to fetch a glass of scotch from the kitchen. “I…have come to find that I like them too.”

Abed smiled. “Nice.” There was a slightly awkward pause, then he stepped forward to wrap his arms around Jeff’s waist and tilt his head up to whisper in Jeff’s ear, “For what it’s worth, you’re much better at sex than Annie’s story.”

Jeff laughed.

* * *

Early 21st Century Romanticism

Annie caught Jeff on the way out of the study group meeting, her expression concerned. “You aren’t doing anything with your girlfriend for Valentine’s Day tomorrow, Jeff?”

“We decided against it,” he said. “Busy, and all that.”

Her face fell. “Oh. That’s a shame, I was hoping to meet her. Well, I hope we all have a great time at the dance anyway!”

With that, she headed off to her next class, leaving Jeff to watch Troy approach the hot librarian he’d been watching all week. Abed came to stand next to Jeff, watching Troy with him.

“He’s finally mustered the courage to do it, then?” Jeff commented dryly.

Abed nodded. “Uh-huh. I had to talk him into it, and I’ve promised to wingman him at the dance tomorrow. He was sad to hear we wouldn’t be going together.”

“Sorry, again,” Jeff said, wincing.

“I told you already: it’s cool,” Abed said. “I’ve never been open about my life anyway. You’re still coming over to my dorm after?”

Jeff gave him a smile. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

The next day, Jeff and the study group fought, and as he stormed out, Duncan approached him within seconds.

“Jeff, hello, I hear you’re fighting with your study group,” Duncan called after him as he ran to catch up.

“Correct.”

“Now, you won’t know this, being American, but tonight Liverpool are playing--”

“Manchester United,” Jeff finished for him. “I am a stylish American. I’ve been forcing myself to be into soccer since two-thousand and four.”

“Oh,” Duncan sighed, sounding delighted, “then it’s destiny. God gave you a British friend and a _massive_ TV for a reason.”

Jeff shook his head. “It’s Valentine’s Day and, even though we’re fighting, I promised the group I’d go to the dance.” Hopefully, the match would be over by ten, when he’d leave for Abed’s dorm.

“You promised the study group? Whipcrack!” Duncan said, his voice mocking. “I’ll see you at precisely six thirty. Okay?” He ran off before Jeff could explain that he had a date later – hopefully, the match wouldn’t run into extra time, and it would be over in the standard ninety minutes with fifteen minutes half-time. That would give him over an hour to get ready.

“Hey, man, why do you have so many blankets in your closet?” Chang asked when he returned to the living room.

Jeff’s eyes widened, and he shot to his feet and twisted around; Chang was holding one of the fluffy blankets he’d primarily bought for Abed, like it was a new animal he’d never seen before.

“Give that to me,” he hissed, striding around the couch to grab it out of Chang’s hands.

“Oh-ho-ho,” Duncan said, looking at him with interest. “What’s this? Is Winger going soft?”

Jeff rolled his eyes, folding the blanket up carefully before returning it to its place in the closet. “Shut up, Duncan.”

“You know, this apartment _is_ more homely than it used to be,” Duncan commented, looking around with renewed interest. “I’ve never known you to properly decorate before. I mean, look at all this. Photos of you and your friends? Flowers on the table? Who are you, and what have you done with Jeffrey Winger?”

Jeff raised an eyebrow at his old friend as he returned to his seat on the couch. “It’s none of your business.”

“I think,” Chang said, “that he’s dating someone.”

“Once again,” Jeff said, “that’s none of your business.”

Duncan chuckled. “It’s cute that you think that, Jeffrey. But, really. Tell us who you’re dating or else. Unless it’s actually _not_ that blonde in your study group. If it’s not her, I don’t care.”

“I care,” Chang said.

“Shut up,” Jeff told him. “I’m trying to watch the game.”

At that moment, the doorbell rang and Chang darted over the back of the couch and across the room to let a flood of people in.

* * *

Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking

When Pierce told him that his father was coming, Jeff’s immediate reaction was denial. He kept a straight face, and kept his voice even throughout his explanation to Abed’s camera. But then LeVar Burton arrived, and Annie wondered aloud if there was anyone Pierce couldn’t get ahold of, and Jeff’s already weak grip on himself started to unravel.

“Jeff?” Abed asked – except it wasn’t Abed, it was Camera Abed. “Do you want to see your dad?”

Jeff, pacing back and forth in one of the empty hospital rooms, immediately went on the defensive. “You know that I don’t.”

“But if he were to show up, what then?”

Feeling the antsy-ness in his chest growing, Jeff half-growled, “He’s not coming.”

“If you think that, why aren’t you leaving?”

“Because I don’t care!”

Abed frowned, shifting the camera so Jeff could see his face. “But you do care. Else you wouldn’t mind seeing him. You told me that--”

Jeff shouted a barely formed word and stalked off.

“Jeff, stop it,” Abed shouted, hurrying to pass his camera to Britta, before bodily putting himself in between Jeff and Pierce. “You’ll regret this later.”

Jeff made an angry noise, but stopped trying to pull out of Troy’s grip. “Get out of my way, Abed.”

“No. The person you’re actually annoyed with is your dad. Pierce tried to take advantage of that, but he’s not the villain here.”

Abed was meeting Jeff’s gaze evenly, trying to convey his sincerity, but it only _calmed_ the rage and fear surging through him – it didn’t stop it. “Abed. Get out of my way.”

“Stop it, Jeff,” Troy cried from behind him. “Don’t threaten Abed. You _like_ Abed.”

“Yeah, but he’s in my way,” Jeff said. “Pierce can’t just go around _hurting_ people without consequences.”

“You’ve already punched him,” Annie exclaimed. “Isn’t that a consequence? We’re all angry, but we can’t just go around punching people.”

Jeff rolled his eyes, but instead of going for Pierce again, he stormed back towards the hospital.

Half an hour later, Abed found him at one of the tables in the hospital waiting area.

“Ah, shit,” Jeff said, straightening when he saw Abed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted at you earlier. It wasn’t fair of me.”

Abed would have shrugged, if he wasn’t holding a big, heavy camera. “You were angry. I get it. Well, I don’t _get it_ get it, but I understand that you were angry and people can do weird things when they’re angry.”

“I shouted things at Pierce that I really should tell my father,” Jeff sighed, leaning back on the chair to stare up at the ceiling. “I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve it. But my father is equally deserving.”

Abed glanced around, as if checking to see if anyone was watching, then slowly and carefully set the camera down on the table before taking the seat next to Jeff and patting his knee. “I know. He’s an asshole.”

Jeff huffed a laugh. “ _You_ don’t normally swear.”

“I’m not normally talking about your father.” His eyes flicked conspicuously downward, to Jeff’s stomach. “His leaving drove you to do things--”

“Can we drop that?” Jeff asked, squeezing his eyes shut. “I regret ever telling you the story.”

Abed smiled at him. “No, you don’t.”

Rolling his eyes and glancing at Abed again, Jeff repeated, “No, I don’t.”

There was pause.

“Wait, why didn’t you get a bequeathal?”

“Pierce doesn’t understand me,” Abed said calmly, getting back to his feet and picking up the camera. “He thinks that filming this documentary is torturing me.”

Jeff scoffed. “Why does he think that?”

“Like I said, he doesn’t understand me.” Abed checked his cell phone, then added, “Alright, time to wrap this up.”

* * *

Intro to Political Science

“Throughout the course of the movie, you can see him reading that book, and then in the Director’s Cut you see small snippets of it. Then, when you see…”

Abed had been giving Jeff a detailed analysis of _Donnie Darko_ for the last hour; from past experience, Jeff knew he’d be going for at least another hour.

But seeing Abed like this – in his element – made Jeff happy. Even if he was barely hearing the words anymore.

“I love you.”

The words slipped out before Jeff could stop himself, and he stiffened. He was bad at commitment – he knew that already – but he’d been trying to be better with Abed; for Abed. Jeff just hoped he hadn’t messed up.

But Abed nodded. “Cool. Cool, cool, cool. I love you too.” He paused for a second longer, then continued with his analysis and that, for some reason, made Jeff’s heart swell.

* * *

Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy

Chang’s eyes widen and he makes a time out sign with his hands. “So you’re saying if I get a job and my own apartment, Shirley might let me be part of my baby’s life?”

Jeff’s brain hears the words and shows him an image of Abed, over at his apartment again; of not having to lie every time he goes on a date; of Chang, finally, _finally_ , gone after half of month living with him. “Yes. That is exactly what I’m saying.”

Chang’s hopeful grin doesn’t make him feel guilty in the slightest. “So does that mean I can…?”

“Go for it,” Jeff said.

The first thing Abed said when Jeff stumbled into his dorm was, “Tell me about prison.”

Troy and Britta (why was she there, Jeff wondered) both turned and gave him horrified looks.

“Abed!” Britta exclaimed. “You can’t ask people to tell you how prison is!”

“Yeah,” Troy agreed, then hesitated and glanced at Jeff hopefully. “Unless it was awesome?”

Jeff rolled his eyes, settling down on the arm of the couch next to Abed. “Prison was not awesome.”

“Ha,” Britta said. “See? I told you so.”

“I don’t care if it sucked, I want to know more,” Abed said, craning his neck to look up at Jeff. “I have a list of questions.”

“Can it wait until later?” Jeff asked, leaning back against the wall. “I’m tired, I barely slept.”

His face lighting up, Abed asked, “Why? Is that something you can answer for me later?”

“Yeah, sure.”

There was a lull in conversation, while some terrible film played on the TV, and then Britta turned to Troy and said, “I thought you didn’t hang out with Jeff anymore.”

Straightening, Jeff turned to frown at Troy and Abed. “What?”

“That may have been an exaggeration,” Troy admitted a little sheepishly. “You know, to prove our point.”

Jeff rolled his eyes when Britta gasped. “How could you guys? I _trusted_ you.”

“Just… stop telling us stuff about the guys you date,” Troy told her. “You don’t hear Jeff telling me about A--” He froze halfway through the sentence, his eyes widening as his mouth stayed open.

Jeff stiffened, his face turning unreadable as he glared at Troy. “I thought I _told_ you not to mention that.”

“Mention what?” Britta asked, looking thoroughly interested as she stared at him. “You’re dating someone? You didn’t tell me this! Who, who?”

His face contorting into a grimace, Jeff said, “This is why I don’t tell you anything.”

“Come on, you have to tell me _now_.”

“I don’t have to tell you anything,” Jeff disagreed, getting to his feet again and moving to lie down on the bottom bunk.

“Yeah, you do. You told Troy and Abed about this woman you’re dating but you didn’t tell me? Come on, we slept together.”

“Once,” Jeff reminded her. “We slept together once. I’ve done more with people I haven’t seen for years now.”

Britta opened her mouth again, but Abed shushed her. “You’re talking over the movie.”

“Ugh, fine,” Britta groaned, slouching back and crossing her arms over her chest.

“Thanks, Abed.” Jeff nodded at his boyfriend, who smiled back.

“You’re still talking over the movie.”

* * *

Critical Film Studies

Jeff let out a deep sigh, resigning himself to the knowledge that he had already forgiven Abed for pretending to be someone else throughout their entire date.

“It’s fine,” he told Abed, who relaxed, the stiff lines of his body loosening.

“Cool,” Abed said. “And for what it’s worth, I truly am sorry about being…weird all evening.”

Jeff waved a hand, stepping closer to his boyfriend and resting his hands on his hips. “Hey, it’s your birthday.”

Abed nodded. “It _is_ my birthday.”

“Would you…like a birthday kiss?”

His eyes widening, Abed glanced around the almost-empty restaurant. “But…people could see us. You normally don’t like kissing where people might see us.”

“I’m willing to make an exception, for tonight.”

Abed gave him a delighted smile. “Cool, cool, cool.” He hesitated a second, then leant forward to gently press his lips to Jeff. It was a chaste kiss, and only lasted a few seconds, and Jeff knew he’d feel awkward later, but in that moment, he loved the feeling of being open with his affection.

When they finished, pulling back just a few centimetres so Jeff could gaze at Abed’s beautiful eyes, there was gasp. A very, very familiar gasp.

Abed twisted his head around immediately, instinctively pulling out of Jeff’s hold, but Jeff took a few seconds longer to turn away. He knew who he was going to see.

Sure enough, Annie was standing there, still in her lilac dress even though she’d removed the wig. Her jaw was dropped, her eyes huge with shock.

“Jeff? Abed? You…what?”

“We’re dating,” Jeff blurted out.

Abed nodded. “Yep.”

“But…you’re gay?”

“I’m bisexual,” Abed answered easily. “That means I like men and women.”

Annie looked faint. “Uh-huh.”

“I’m also bi. Sexual,” Jeff offered, barely hearing his own words over how much his brain was freaking out. “So…yeah.”

“I—you said you were dating a woman. At the mixer. At Valentine’s. That was—was that Abed?”

Abed nodded again, perfectly at ease with the situation. “Yep.”

“So…so, when Jeff would say he had a date with so-and-so whose name sounded vaguely familiar, he really meant you.”

“Pretty cool, huh? I wanted to go with Leia or Ellen Ripley but Jeff said that those were too obvious.”

“How long have you been hiding this from us? Does _anyone_ know?”

Jeff winced. “Just Troy. I’d rather you didn’t tell anyone else.”

“ _Troy_ knows?”

“Yes, Troy knows,” Abed said, giving Annie a look like she was being silly. “Does she look confused?” he asked Jeff.

“Yeah,” Jeff said, faintly and still panicking, “she does.”

“Cool, I got it right.” Abed fist-pumped. “What part are you confused by? Do you want me to give you a detailed timeline of Jeff and my relationship?”

Annie shrugged. “I-I don’t know? I guess I’ve never met someone who’s bisexual before.”

“Well, now you’ve met two,” Abed said cheerfully, holding up two fingers for emphasis. “Are you stunned, then? Is it going to go away in a minute?”

Jeff took a deep breath to calm himself, then stepped forward. “Annie, we’re both the same people you knew an hour ago. Now you just…know something more about us. Nothing changes because of our sexualities.”

Annie seemed to consider his words for a minute. “Okay,” she said, but her voice trembled.

“Why would me being bi change anything?” Abed asked, tilting his head to one side. “It just means I’m attracted to more than one gender.”

Jeff leant in to whisper, “Remember, Annie thought she met a lesbian for the first time only a month ago,” to him.

“Oh, yeah, I forgot about that,” Abed murmured back. “This is probably really weird for her, isn’t it.”

Annie glanced between the two of them, wrapping her arms around herself. “What are you whispering about? You know, it’s rude to do that in front of other people.”

“I was pointing out that you don’t have much experience with LGBT-plus people,” Jeff said. “Which is true.”

Shakily, Annie nodded.

“But I’d really prefer you didn’t tell anyone about this,” he continued. “At least…not until we’re comfortable doing it ourselves.”

Annie took a second, but then straightened her back and tucked her hair behind her ear and put on a determined expression before nodding. “I won’t tell a soul about it.”

“I mean…you can tell Troy,” Abed said. “He already knows.”

“Fine, I won’t tell a soul, except Troy.”

There was a pause.

“You can also tell us,” Abed added. “We already know.”

Annie let out an exasperated sigh, rolling her eyes as she said, “Well, I know _that_. Stop being weird, Abed. I know you’re just doing this to irritate me.”

Jeff hid his relief at seeing Annie act more like herself.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Abed said, then frowned, his brows meeting. “That was sarcasm, I forgot to inflect.”

Jeff couldn’t help but smile at his boyfriend, reaching out to take his hand.

Annie giggled. “You two _are_ definitely in a relationship. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.”

“What do you mean?” Abed asked.

“Don’t you see the way Jeff looks at you? It’s…adorable.”

Jeff pulled a face. “Is this what I’m going to have to deal with from now on?”

“No, no, I’ll be cool,” Annie told him, nodding very seriously, then turned to Abed and grinned up at him. “I’m going to need you to give me that timeline. No details missed.” She paused then said, “Actually, maybe miss the sex stuff. Everything _but_ that has to be there.”

“Cool, cool, cool,” Abed said, then did finger-guns.

* * *

Competitive Wine Tasting

“I’d have thought you would be more suspicious of Wu Mei,” Abed mused, studying Jeff intently instead of reading more of his _Who’s the Boss?_ book. “You’re normally doubtful of anyone expressing any interest in Pierce.”

Jeff shrugged. “The only reason I’d have been suspicious is if I was jealous. That’s the reason, ninety percent of the time I’m suspicious of people. I already have an amazing boyfriend, so why would I be jealous?”

“I’m proud of you,” Abed told him. “You’re growing as a person.”

“Speaking of growing as people,” Jeff said, “why was Britta acting weird around Troy earlier?”

“Troy lied in acting class and made up a fake story about being molested as a child,” Abed explained. “I told Troy he needs to tell Britta but he hasn’t yet.”

Jeff let out a breath. “I was not expecting that.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t either. Anyway, I have to finish my _Who’s the Boss?_ book now.”

“What kind of a teacher makes their class read that much overnight, anyway? It’s like he doesn’t want his students to sleep.”

Abed shrugged. “It’s fine, this is really interesting.”

“Is it though?” Jeff gave him a look. “It looks like it goes into a lot of detail about every prop ever featured for more than a second.”

“That’s only chapter nine,” Abed said.

Jeff groaned. “Ugh, sounds hideous.”

* * *

Paradigms of Human Memory

Reminiscing about the year was fun, even if not all of the memories were good ones. Then Britta brought up Jeff’s ‘girlfriend’ as they just finishing up.

“I’m just saying, you still haven’t told us her name.”

“That’s because she doesn’t exist,” Pierce interjected, and Jeff was annoyed that he was right.

“Shut up, Pierce,” Britta said off-handedly, then returned her attention to Jeff. “You’ve been dating this girl for months now, and she’s okay being kept a secret?”

Jeff shrugged. “Yep.” Beside him, sitting cross-legged on the second, smaller, table in the room, Abed’s face remained impassive.

“Why does she _want_ to be kept a secret? She’s not married or anything, right?”

Jeff rolled his eyes at the suggestion, but Shirley gasped and turned to him. “Jeffrey! How could you?”

“Shirley,” Jeff said firmly and clearly, “I am not dating a married woman.” Abed nodded emphatically.

“It’s a married _man_ ,” Pierce said. “I told you so, didn’t I tell you so?”

Gritting his teeth, Jeff added, “Nor am I dating a married man. Why is it any of your business, anyway?”

Britta jabbed an accusing finger at Troy, who jumped back in shock. “Maybe because _Troy_ knows?”

“Troy, how could you keep this a secret from us?” Shirley asked, her face falling.

“Annie knows too!” Troy yelped, turning to point at Annie.

She yelped. “Troy! We’re not supposed to _say_ _anything_.”

“Jeffrey! I can’t believe you told Annie and Troy about your girlfriend but not me,” Shirley said. “I thought we were friends. Did you want me to be left out?”

“We are friends,” Jeff said, taking a defensive step back. “But I don’t need to tell you everything about my life for that be true.”

Britta shook her head, crossing her arms and putting on her disapproving face. “Shame on you, Jeff. Keeping your girlfriend secret from your only friends? That’s low, even for you.”

“Will you just leave Jeff alone?” Annie said. “If he doesn’t want to tell you, then you shouldn’t demand to know these things. It’s rude.”

“I don’t see why Jeffrey’s decided to exclude me from this,” Shirley said.

“Well, I’m excluded too,” Britta snorted.

Shirley sniffed. “Maybe that’s because you had pre-marital sex, and Jeff no longer feels comfortable talking about his love life with you.”

“Oh, will you just shut up?” Jeff shouted. “It’s Abed! I’m dating Abed.”

Everyone froze, turning to stare at Abed, whose eyes widened before he gave a cheery wave.

In the silence, trying to ignore his rising panic, Jeff continued, “I’m bisexual, and I’ve been dating Abed for six months.”

“Gay!” Pierce shouted. “I said you were gay!”

“He’s not,” Abed said. “He’s bisexual, that means he likes men and women.”

Pierce frowned. “What?”

“It’s not that hard to understand,” Abed told him calmly. “I’m also bi.”

Pierce waved his hand dismissively then hurried over his bag. “Where’s my speech? I have one prepared, I put it here… Oh! I left it in my car.” With that, he hurried out of the room (well…hurrying was a charitable term for Pierce).

Shirley coughed. “Strictly speaking--”

“Oh, shut up,” Annie snapped uncharacteristically sharply. “Don’t use your religion as an excuse to be homophobic.” She paused, her cheeks reddening, then said, “Or, I guess biphobic. Is that the right term?”

Abed shrugged. “Homophobic works in this context.”

The ensuing silence was rather awkward, but Jeff was mainly concerned about Britta looking like she was working her up to something.

“I’m so proud of you,” she said, painfully earnest, as she looked Jeff directly in the eyes and stepped up in front of him. “Coming out isn’t easy. Have long have you known?”

Jeff pulled a face. _“God._ Don’t make a thing of this.”

“Of course we’re going to make a thing of this,” Britta snorted, her instinctive reaction to contradict Jeff, then froze and change tactics. “I mean…this is your coming out and if you don’t want to make a thing of it then that is absolutely your choice.”

“Britta, you’re being awkward,” Annie muttered to her. “It’s much better for Jeff and Abed if you act normally then get the weirdness out of your system once you get home.”

Britta whirled to face her. “You knew about this!”

“Yes, I did,” Annie said primly, her back straight and her expression determined.

“Britta, Annie found out by mistake,” Jeff said, sounding exasperated even to his own ears. “It was no slight against you.”

Shirley’s mouth was pressed into a thin line, like she was trying to suppress herself from blurting something out.

“People in this group really need to stop taking things so personally,” Troy commented, shaking his head. “Like, Jeff and Abed’s sexualities are their own, very private, business. You all talking about it like this is why Jeff kept it a secret for so long.”

Annie frowned. “I mean…Abed kept it a secret too, right?”

“Not really,” Abed said. “If any of you had heard the rumors in the dorms, you’d already know. I only didn’t bring it up because it didn’t have any plot relevance. Now…” He shot finger guns at Annie. “ _Plot relevance_!”

“Pierce is returning,” Troy said suddenly, going still as his gaze fixed on the figure of Pierce, walking up the steps to the library.

Jeff turned to Abed, trying to the hide the sudden fear that surged through him. “Run for it?”

Abed grinned at him, hopping down from the table and holding out his hand. Jeff took it. “Let’s run for it.”

They ran for it, Pierce’s shouts for them to come back falling on deaf ears.

“Ah, Jeffrey,” Shirley greeted stiffly when he entered the study room the next morning. They were the only ones there. “Your, uh, _partner_ isn’t here?”

Jeff internally rolled his eyes, dropping down into his seat and pulling his phone out to give him something to look at other than his friend. “Abed’s my boyfriend. We’ve only been dating six months.”

“Oh.” Even looking away, Jeff could hear Shirley’s wince. Despite the homophobic things she’d said in the past, he knew that she would be looking at things differently now that she knew she knew people who were LGBT-plus. It was the adjustment that would take time. “I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted,” Jeff murmured, tapping a few buttons randomly; he wasn’t really texting anyone.

“Um…I did some research last night,” Shirley tried again. “You-you said you were bisexual?”

Jeff nodded silently.

“And that’s…that’s the flag with the purple and the pink and the blue?”

“Yep.”

“That’s nice,” Shirley said, and when Jeff let his gaze flicker up, he could see how down she looked.

Sighing, he set his phone down on the table. “I…appreciate you trying, Shirley. It means a lot.”

Her expression brightened.

“But, really, I’d prefer you treat me exactly like you used to,” Jeff continued. “I’m the same person as I was yesterday. You’ve just learned something new about me.”

Shirley considered it for a second then nodded. “Alright.”

At that moment, Britta burst into the room. Her hair was messy and uncurled, and her clothes were horribly clashing. “Jeff! I wanted to talk to you before anyone else got here!” She noticed Shirley and added, “If you’re going to be homophobic you can leave.”

“It’s fine,” Jeff told her, perhaps a little sharply, when Shirley’s face fell again. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“It’s about Pierce, he’s posted it all over Twitter,” Britta said, practically shoving her phone into his face. “We told him not to last night, and Annie even took his phone away, but Troy said he must have used his computer when he got home.”

Jeff took the cell from her, clicking on Pierce’s original Tweet to read aloud. “‘Just learned Jeff Winger is gay! Told you so! He’s dating Abed (the Arab).’”

“That’s horrible,” Shirley said, her mouth turned down. “You should be the one to tell people, when you’re ready.”

When Britta looked surprised, Shirley explained, “I did some research on the Internet last night.”

“I’m impressed, Shirley,” Britta said, “I didn’t think you would be so open-minded.”

Shirley shrugged. “Well, I went on that website Annie said helped her, and they had a few links so I clicked those too. It was all very informative.”

Britta made an appreciative noise, then said, “Anyway, Pierce shouldn’t have done that. Also, we _explained_ to him what bisexual means. I thought he’d got it by the time he left.”

“You guys stayed here after Abed and I left last night?” Jeff asked, surprised. He’d mostly thought that they would all go home to stew after the announcement.

“Of course,” Annie’s familiar voice said, and Jeff turned to see her standing in the doorway with Troy. She smiled reassuringly at him. “We wanted to make sure that we were all on the same page. Well, all of us on the same page and then Pierce.”

Troy nodded seriously as he took his seat. “Yeah…sorry, man, I forgot that I showed him how to log onto Twitter on his desktop.”

“I’m not blaming any of you,” Jeff said. “Pierce is an entity of his own.”

“That he is,” Annie said, her voice dropping as she leant in conspiratorially. “Last night, I—”

Before Jeff could find out what horrific thing Pierce had done the night before, Abed walked in humming the theme to Star Wars. He was just wearing his normal clothes – a colorful cardigan with cigarette jeans and an even more colorful t-shirt – but something about knowing he could now be open in his affection with him made Jeff feel warm and soft.

“Hey guys,” Abed said nonchalantly as he went to sit down in his seat. “What’s up?”

Upon seeing how everyone in the room reverted to their awkward states, Jeff rolled his eyes and returned to staring at his phone. Troy, however, said, “We were talking about you and Jeff. And the shit Pierce tweeted last night.”

“Oh, that,” Abed said.

Britta glanced at Annie, then looked back at Abed. “So…you’ve seen it then?”

“Yep.”

“And…you aren’t worried?” Annie sounded a little confused. “Why did you hide it for so long if you’re fine with it going around the school?”

Abed shrugged. “It didn’t have plot relevance. I never hid that I like both boys and girls.”

“You didn’t?” Troy looked a little confused.

“About a quarter of Greendale knew,” Abed said. “Now it’s more.”

“Wow,” Britta said, looking more annoyed with herself than anything else. “I really should have figured this out sooner.”

“You should have,” Jeff agreed. “I’m not saying I wanted you to,” he added when she gave him a look, “but I spent three days in the dorms last year and figured it out immediately.”

“How did all those people know?” Shirley asked. “Why would you tell them and not us?”

Abed didn’t respond, just shrugging and pulling out his anthropology textbook. “What reading did Duncan set for class?”

“Pages one-oh-four to one-oh-seven,” Annie answered smartly as she set her planner down on the table. “It’s not due today, though – that’s the diorama.” Flicking through it to the relevant page, she checked what she’d written in it. “Yes, so the reading is due tomorrow and, remember everyone, we have the final in just six days.”

“Ugh,” Jeff groaned. “Why are you trying to get me to work?”

Annie gave him her pleased smile, straightening. “It’s working, isn’t it?”

“Where’s your evidence?” Jeff countered.

Before Annie could respond, the bell rang and Jeff leapt to his feet and strode out of the study room and down the hall to his first class – one which none of his friends attended.

* * *

Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts

“Jeff, Pierce tainted our special handshake with his blood money and now we can’t get the magic back!” Troy whined.

Next to him, Abed nodded very seriously.

“Holy crap, you two, for real?”

“Yeah,” they said in unison, both looking heartbroken.

On another day, Jeff would have taken the time to comfort them – but this was not another day, and Shirley was in the middle of giving birth.

“Nobody cares about your handshake. A baby is coming out of Shirley’s vagina two feet from us!”

Abed then demonstrated his incredibly detailed knowledge of a very specific thing, and Jeff and Troy shared an amazed look as he took over.

Jeff nearly jumped out of his skin when he turned around to find Troy sitting on his couch.

“Jesus Christ!”

Troy turned around and looked him over. “What’s wrong?”

“You have _got_ to stop doing that,” Jeff told him, clutching a hand to his chest.

“Doing what?”

Jeff rolled his eyes, taking deep breaths to calm his racing heart. “Coming in to my apartment without telling me. I gave you that key for emergencies only.”

“It was an emergency,” Troy said very seriously. “Pierce doesn’t have any DVDs and Abed’s staying with his dad tonight.”

“I know,” Jeff said. “Why did you need to come here?”

Troy’s eyes widened for a second before he relaxed back into the couch again, trying to casually rest his hands behind his head. “You know. Reasons.”

“No,” Jeff said. “I don’t.”

“I, uh, thought you might lonely. Without Abed, you know.”

Cocking an eyebrow, Jeff said, “Uh-huh.”

“Fine, you caught me,” Troy cried, throwing his hands up in the air, but in doing so, he removed his support so slid off the couch and into the crack between it and the coffee table. “Oof!”

Jeff moved to stand right over him, staring down with an amused expression on his face. “Do you want a hand up?”

“No,” Troy grimaced, trying to push himself up, only to get more stuck. His shoulders were too broad for the small gap between the couch and table.

“If you say so,” Jeff shrugged, and went back into the kitchen to fetch a bottle of scotch to pour himself a glass.

When he returned, Troy was sitting back up on the couch, his back stiff and straight this time.

“You could have helped!”

“You said not to.”

Troy’s expression slid from annoyed to a little bit indignant. “ _Everyone_ knows that ‘I don’t need help’ actually means ‘I need help’.”

“Do they?” Jeff was enjoying being contrary, and the way the irritated look in Troy’s eye was growing. “Sorry, sorry. Why did you come over? Are you lonely again?”

Troy sighed. “Yeah. Pierce is again, and so is Abed. Can we watch more _Breakfast Club_?”

“Only if you set it up,” Jeff said, slouching down on the couch and taking a sip of his scotch. “Where did we get to last time?”

Grinning, Troy got to his feet and pulled the boxset out of Jeff’s growing collection – or, rather, a sub-section of Abed’s collection. “Awesome!”

“I got another pack of pop after we ran out last time,” Jeff added.

Troy’s face lit up. “Even more awesome!”

* * *

A Fistful of Paintballs

“Does that guy even go to this school?” Abed asked, an odd look in his eye as he jerked a thumb at the closed door. Once again, Jeff was reminded at how handsome his boyfriend was. “He’s really good-looking. Like, network TV good-looking. And did you see how big his guns were?”

“If that’s an innuendo,” Jeff told him, “it’s not one I want to hear. Why don’t you just marry him, Abed?”

Annie giggled, breaking out of her serious character for a second. “Ooh, is that jealousy I hear?”

Jeff didn’t blink at the teasing, or the way Abed grinned when she elbowed him in the ribs. “No. It’s not. Shut up.”

Then Britta and Shirley and Troy appeared – the latter popping out of a trash can – and told them about ‘Fort Hawthorne’, and Britta gestured to the wall behind Jeff with a grimace on her face; he turned to see a poster proclaiming him wanted ‘gay or alive’.

“Sorry. We tried to stop him but…”

“I’m used to it,” Jeff said.

Britta’s face fell. “That’s worse.”

“Now’s not the time for this conversation,” Abed interrupted. “Is this the part where you order us to give you our weapons? Can we do a scene where someone pulls a ridiculous number of guns out from unlikely places?”

“No, Abed,” Annie said. “You _better_ not try to make me hand my guns over to you.” The last part was directed at the three deputies, a dangerous glint entering her eyes as her finger tightened on the trigger.

When Pierce told Jeff he had “someone more his speed” and gestured to Garrett, also dancing on a table, every member of the study group groaned.

“Pierce!” Shirley exclaimed. “We’ve had this conversation three times already today!”

Pierce made a dismissive gesture. “I don’t care. Anyway, you must be famished. Tonight, we feast!”

Everyone cheered.

“I got a better look at the Black Rider,” Jeff said. “He’s not actually that good-looking.”

Annie rolled her eyes at him.

The Dean stuck out his leg out and said, “The key’s in my shorts.”

“Hey,” Abed said mildly. “That’s my boyfriend.”

Jeff hid the smile threatened to spread over his face, and the warm feeling that rose in his chest, at those words.

“Ugh, fine,” the Dean groaned, pulling the keys out himself. “I can get it out, I guess.”

“Dean, you _really_ need to stop coming on to a taken man,” Shirley told him, her voice stern. “You’re starting to look desperate.”

Troy took the key from the Dean and unlocked the closet; Jeff and him stared in awe at the massive cache of paintball supplies.

“Now _this_ is more like it,” Troy murmured.

“Okay, Black Rider,” Jeff said. “Now let’s see who’s attractive.”

Troy turned to him. “Dude, you have a problem.”

“He’s jealous,” Annie interjected, her delighted smile returning. “Abed complimented the Rider earlier and Jeff hasn’t let it go.”

A grin spreading on his own face, Troy nodded. “That makes sense.”

“Oh, shut up, will you?”

* * *

For a Few Paintballs More

Annie tried to move the cart of paint, but it wouldn’t budge. “Abed, here. Help me with this.”

“Sure thing, your worship.” Abed stepped up close behind her, wrapping his arms around her, and Annie jolted away as if burned.

“Abed! You’re _in_ a relationship!”

Abed’s expression shifted slightly as he went out of character for a moment. “Jeff and I already had this conversation. I’m allowed to pretend, for movie re-enactments, as long as I don’t kiss anyone or touch them in a way that’s more than platonic.”

Annie relaxed a little, but still said, “Stop trying to be Han Solo, it’s making me embarrassed for you.”

“Come on, admit it, you like it,” Abed said, slipping back to his 'Han Solo' voice.

“I _like_ having conversations with adults,” Annie disagreed. “Playing _Star Wars_ is worn out, and immature.”

Abed shook his head, stepping closer. “You like me because I’m immature. There’s not enough immaturity in your life.”

Her mouth curling up into an involuntary smile, Annie felt herself sigh, before something clicked in her mind and she froze. “Wait a second…movie re-enactments? Were you and Jeff dating by the time we did D and D?”

Abed’s face remained impassive as he nodded, but there was a slight stiffness to the motion that hadn’t been there seconds before. “Yep.”

“You mean…you were _in a relationship_ when I, uh, said all those things.” Her cheeks were flushing.

“Yep.”

“Abed! You should have told me to stop!” Annie exclaimed. “I feel terrible!”

“Jeff and I already had this conversation,” Abed said. “That was months ago.”

Shirley poked her head in then. “I hope I don’t get shot waiting out here,” she said, a fake smile fixed on her face. “I’d _hate_ to go home to my babies.”

Yanking her hand out of Abed’s grip, Annie returned her focus to the cart of paint.

Gazing up at Abed, Annie quietly asked, “Will you still be Han once we’re dead?”

“Once I’m gone, I’m gone,” Abed said, shaking his head.

“Oh.”

There was a pause, then he added, “If I were truly committed to being Han Solo, I would kiss you at this point.”

Annie eyes widened and she took a tiny step back. “Oh!”

The stormtroopers rounded the corner, and Abed turned to face his death, only for bright orange paint to spray down from the sprinklers.

“And now,” Jeff said, full of confidence, “he’ll come slinking back in five…four…”

In his line of sight, Abed met his gaze and shook his head slightly. Feeling his eyebrows rising, Jeff stopped his countdown and twisted around in his seat; sure enough, Pierce wasn’t there.

He may not have liked the man – may not have liked his views – but Pierce was _improving_. He was getting better. And, more importantly to Jeff, he was their friend.

To have him leave…hurt.


	4. Season 3, part 1

Biology 101

Jeff was shaken out of his daydreaming by Annie calling his name, and he straightened to look around the study group.

“Uh, sorry, what was the question?”

“What are we going to do without Pierce in the study group this year?” Annie asked.

Jeff very seriously said, “I’m sure we’ll figure it out.”

“Speaking of figuring things out,” Troy cut in, “me and Abed have an announcement.”

“Troy and I are living together,” Abed said with a smile.

Jeff already knew; he’d helped them move into apartment 303, and done a lot of the heavy lifting while Troy and Abed sorted out their bunk beds.

“Oh—oh, that’s nice,” Shirley said, sounding surprised.

Annie’s brow furrowed, her face creasing with confusion. “When you said you were moving, Abed, I thought you meant in with Jeff.”

“No, we’re taking things slowly,” Abed said.

Although the words were said casually, Jeff and Abed had ended up having a long conversation about it, and their relationship in general, over the summer; by the end of it, they’d decided that Abed would live with Troy for the moment, and just continuing visiting Jeff’s place when he wanted to.

“We’re registered at Linens ‘n Things, if you want to get us a gift,” Troy continued, unbothered.

“We have the linens. We mainly want the things,” Abed said.

“Are you sure everything’s okay between you and Jeff?” Britta asked him, her voice softer than usual as she reached her hand out to rest on his. “You’ve been dating for almost a year now.”

Abed stared down at where her hand was touching his, so Jeff leant forward to ask Britta, “Do you want an exact retelling of a two-and-a-half-hour conversation? Abed recorded it, if you’re interested. I’ll warn you: it gets explicit.”

_“Jeffrey!”_ Shirley exclaimed, pulling a disgusted face.

Jeff turned to give her a rakish smile. “Shirley?”

She gave him a stern look, to which Jeff just widened his smile.

Britta pulled her hand back, cheeks flushing slightly. “I…don’t need to hear that,” she said, trying to look and sound as dignified as possible. “I will be fine.”

When Abed let out a high-pitched whine, Jeff instinctively twisted around to check on his boyfriend; Abed didn’t like to do that at college, and the fact that he _was_ meant something was wrong. 

“What’s happened?” Jeff asked, lowering his voice so it was more soothing.

“What’s wrong?” Troy asked, reaching across the table to check whatever Abed had seen on his phone that had upset him.

“Cougar Town has been moved to mid-season,” Abed said, the words coming out in a rush as his hands fidgeted. “That’s never a good sign. Not cool, not cool, not cool.”

Jeff slowly moved to rest his hand in front of Abed, open for the taking if he wanted to. Sure enough, a few seconds later, Abed picked it up and started to worry at it, rubbing the skin back and forth.

“Hey buddy,” Troy said, his voice just a little too loud and his smile just a little too fake, “hey. It’s coming back in January. Six seasons and a movie?”

Abed nodded, echoing, “Six seasons and a movie.”

“It’ll be okay,” Jeff told him. “You _know_ you’ve got at least one more season. And shows don’t normally cancel right after being moved, right?”

Abed pressed harder at his hand, but nodded nonetheless.

Moments later, Professor Kane cleared his throat and began to address the class.

Luckily for Jeff, when his phone went off a few seconds into the talk, it was only the faintest buzz – he communicated with Abed enough to have already figured out how to turn the ringer down. Professor Kane didn’t seem very easy-going.

Jeff knew that something was going to go wrong when Britta triumphantly set down a laptop with _Cougarton Abbey_ playing down in front of Abed, but he didn’t say anything – after all, he had nothing beyond a gut feeling.

At the end of lunch, though, when the study group had to rush to get food and join Pierce before class started, Abed’s eyes widened and he said, “Um.”

Jeff’s head shot up, searching for the problem.

A second later, Abed repeated it, more loudly this time. “ _Ummm_.”

“Britta,” Troy said, his voice measured and even, “why did everyone on _Cougarton Abbey_ just die?”

Abed’s breath was coming out in short, jagged bursts, his panicked expression only growing as he stared at the screen.

“They only ran six episodes,” Britta replied. “That’s the great thing about British TV. They give you closure.” She said it like it was good thing.

Abed screamed.

“No, no,” Troy said, rubbing Abed’s shoulder. “We’ll find you a new favorite show! We’ll find you a new favorite show!” Abed slumped, his face blank as he stared down with glassy eyes. “Come on, buddy.”

Jeff turned to glare at Britta, who looked appropriately guilty.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t realize Abed would react like that.”

“You’re the worst,” Jeff told her, the words coming out sharper than intended.

Troy emphatically nodded his agreement. “You are…human tennis elbow. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world’s mouth. You are the _opposite_ of batman.”

Jeff looked at Britta and said, “Move.”

“I just need to eat to my--”

“Move,” he repeated. “Now.”

Britta moved, lifting her tray up and shuffling off the bench to switch places with Jeff. Once he was sat next to Abed, Jeff slowly and gently rested a hand on his knee and began to rub small circles.

“It’s okay,” he murmured. “It’s okay, Abed.”

On the other side of Abed, Troy was resting a hand on his shoulder.

“Abed?” Annie said, trying to apply Chapstick to Abed’s lips. “All your friends are here. They want to talk to you.”

Pierce frowned. “I don’t get it. How’s this different from the way he always is?”

If Jeff hadn’t been so worried about Abed, he would have shouted at Pierce; but he was worried, and from where he was perched on the table in front of Abed, turning was too much of a chore anyway.

“I don’t want to push you,” Shirley said in a low voice, “but this would be a great time to baptize him.”

Annie gave her a disappointed look but everyone else was too used to Shirley pushing her Christian agenda to be bothered by that point.

“Maybe this can be your new favorite show,” Britta said suddenly, setting Abed’s laptop down on Jeff’s lap. “It’s a British sci-fi series that’s been on the air since nineteen sixty-two.”

“Britta, you’ve done enough,” Troy said. “Why don’t you go start a ruiners’ club? Oh, wait, you’d probably just ruin it.”

“Well, then I’d be doing a good job because it’s a ruiners’ club,” Britta countered.

Troy pulled a face. “You _ruined_ my analogy.”

But then Abed reached forward to press play, and some sci-fi theme tune started to play, and relief surged through Jeff like a tsunami when his expression cleared. Barely noticeably, of course, as it always was with Abed, but Jeff had gotten to know him well enough to see it.

He faintly heard Annie say, “Guys, look,” but was too busy watching to make sure Abed was okay to really listen.

After a moment, Abed said, “This is the best show I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”

Annie squealed, and Britta said, “Oh my god,” and the tension melted from Troy like butter in a frying pan.

Unfortunately, Pierce managed to find a place in Biology 101 anyway when Star Burns got himself kicked out.

* * *

Geography of Global Conflict

“I’m sorry,” Annie Kim said, looking smug, “I don’t understand your relationship here. Is he your father or your lover?”

There was silence for a moment, and then a girl in the back of class laughed.

“Everyone knows Winger’s gay, dumbass!” someone called.

“Yeah, way to show you’re a freshman,” another student snorted.

Jeff didn’t move an inch, standing completely still. “I’m not gay.”

“Shut up,” Annie said, whirling on them with a furious glint in her eye. “Jeff’s bisexual. Is that really so hard for you to understand?”

“Whatever,” one of them scoffed. “Winger’s dating a guy. Not anyone else in your weird little study group.”

Annie Kim straightened, her cheeks darkening and her lips pressing together. “Regardless, my Model UN does not accept the authority of yours.”

“I don’t care,” Jeff said and strode out.

Sprawled in one of the breakfast bar stools at Troy and Abed’s place, Jeff stared down at his glass of Special Drink. Next to him, Abed was stirring his own drink, a moustache of chocolate milk on his upper lip.

“I’ve got to say, it’s nice to finally have Chang gone from my place,” Jeff said. “I can stay over here and _not_ have to worry about him trashing the place.”

Abed nodded. “I like going to your apartment. It’s fancy.”

“I’m not sure I wanted him to become a security officer instead, though.”

“It does seem likely that we’re going to die,” Abed agreed, then scooped up some of his special drink in his spoon and sipped at it. “He and Britta have been staring at each other weirdly for the last few days, and he tased her at the Model UN earlier. I bet she’s first on his kill-list.”

“Oh, that?” Jeff shrugged. “I’m not worried. Britta’s trying to rage against the machine or whatever.”

Abed frowned. “That doesn’t normally end well for people.”

“Like I said earlier: she’ll be bad at it. Look, she tried to disrupt the Model UN by dancing around with dolls stuck to her clothes.” Jeff shook his head. “Unless that’s a crime now, she’ll be fine.”

There was slight thump from the bedroom, and then Troy emerged. “Oh, hey, Jeff,” he said, unsurprised by his appearance early in the morning. It was normal for him to sleep over on the sofa if he’d already stayed late. “What are you talking about?” His eyes widened, and then he quickly added, “Don’t tell me if it’s sex stuff.”

“Tell that to Abed, not me,” Jeff muttered into his glass.

“I already said I wouldn’t do that again,” Abed said. “And you _did_ ask to know--”

Troy shook his head, the motion stiff, and Abed trailed off. “What was the first thing I said about your relationship?”

“That you supported us,” Abed answered.

“No, I meant the thing after that.”

“You asked if we were doing the secret relationship trope.”

“No, after _that_.”

“You said that you’d do your absolute best to help us keep it a secret.”

Troy’s eyebrows rose. “Wow, I really forgot how long that conversation was. Well, anyway, I definitely said at some point that I don’t want to hear about sex stuff. Unless there’s, like, a problem and you need to tell me. But not, like, a _sex_ sex thing, just a sex thing. You know?”

Jeff rolled his eyes, even as Abed nodded in agreement. “You two are incomprehensible.”

“Anyway, we were talking about Britta,” Abed said, and Troy straightened.

“Really? What…what were you saying?”

Jeff shrugged and leaned back in his chair. “Just that she’s being stupid with all her ‘raging against the machine’ shit. I agree with some of her other stuff, about equal rights, but I’ve never known her to go about it the right way. This is just another example of her screwing things up.”

“I don’t know, man,” Troy said, taking the third seat, on the other side of Abed to Jeff. “I think she’s having a personal crisis. Britta went through a major change when she came to Greendale, from protestor to college student, and I think it’s only just really dawning on her what that actually means.”

“Maybe,” Jeff said.

Abed nodded. “Troy is good at understanding Britta.”

“He is,” Jeff had to admit, then checked his phone. “Ah, crap, I have to go. There’s a delivery coming at ten.”

As he hurried out of his seat, then grabbed his coat from the sofa, Troy said, “See you Monday.”

Just before he left, Jeff stopped behind Abed to drop a kiss on the top of his head, in his soft hair, then strode out the door.

* * *

Competitive Ecology

When Abed deepened their kiss, Jeff let his hands move from Abed’s cheeks and start to wander down to his waist. Before he got there, though, Abed flinched, letting out a hissing breath.

Jeff immediately pulled back. “What’s wrong?”

Abed seemed to consider whether he should answer the question for a moment. “Remember how two days ago, you told me and Troy that we were going to hurt ourselves fork-jousting?”

Jeff let out a deep, exasperated, sigh. “Abed.”

“Troy’s fork stabbed me,” Abed said, pulling his t-shirt up.

There was a small wound his side, the skin around it puffy and red.

“That’s infected,” Jeff told him, trying to keep his voice even.

“Troy and I didn’t remember the word,” Abed said, “and we weren’t sure what to look up. Where do you keep your plasters?”

Jeff inhaled, then exhaled. “Abed. That is not a plaster-worthy wound. That is a wound that should have seen you in hospital yesterday.”

“Oh,” Abed said, glancing down at his side – and the wound – again. “Really? In--”

“Movies aren’t always realistic,” Jeff said, perhaps a little sharply, cutting Abed off. “Sorry.”

“I know that,” Abed said. “It’s fine. Are you going to take me to a hospital? I don’t want to go to a hospital.”

“Why not?” Jeff asked, his brow furrowing.

Abed shrugged. “I spent a lot of time with doctors when I was a kid. They wanted to fix me.”

“There’s nothing to be fixed.”

“I know,” Abed said simply. “I don’t like doctors.”

Jeff hesitated. He didn’t want to put Abed in a situation where he wasn’t comfortable, and the wound wasn’t _that_ bad…

“Okay,” he said, swinging his legs around and getting to his feet. “I should have some antibiotic ointment in my first aid box, and maybe still a bandage? That’s probably out-of-date, I’ll go and buy some more if it is. I want you to stay here, and take your shirt off so I can properly see the wound.”

Abed nodded, and Jeff strode out of his bedroom, through the living room, and into the kitchen where he’d stored the first aid kid in one of the drawers. When he pulled it out, it was covered in dust, and, as he’d suspected, the bandages were a few months out-of-date.

Luckily, there was a pharmacy just around the corner from his apartment so it only took a few minutes to go out for some more, and, when he returned, Abed had moved to the sofa.

Jeff raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything, instead unwrapping one of the new bandages and retrieving the antibiotic ointment he’d found in his first aid kit.

“The injured person is never on a bed in action movies,” Abed said, answering the silent question anyway. “I wanted to lie on the table but then my side hurt. Ideally, we'd be in an abandoned warehouse.”

“You should be more careful with yourself,” Jeff told him. He crouched down next to Abed and applied the antibiotic. “I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

He held the pad of the bandage over the wound, then used some medical tape to secure it. Once he was pretty sure it wasn’t going to come off soon, he leant back to check Abed was okay.

“Is it going to scar?” Abed asked, studying the bandage with interest.

“I’m not a doctor,” Jeff said. “I have no idea.”

Abed easily accepted the answer with a nod. “I already have the bite marks but it would be cool to have an injury I can remember how I got.”

“I have had a few questions about the one on my neck,” Jeff admitted, moving to one of the armchairs. “Someone asked me if it was from an overzealous lover, once.”

Abed sat up, pulling his shirt back on, and reached out to rest his hand just beneath the teeth marks on Jeff’s neck. “Did you tell them that you were bitten by a werewolf?”

“I did,” Jeff said, his mouth curling into a grin.

“I love you,” Abed said, serious all of a sudden, and pulled Jeff in for a soft, chaste kiss.

“They thought I was on drugs,” Jeff added after.

Abed laughed.

* * *

Remedial Chaos Theory

“Happy 1-year anniversary!”

Annie’s cry was loud for nine on a Monday morning, and Jeff squinted at her for a moment before taking another long swig of his coffee.

She faltered. “It is your anniversary, right?”

“It is,” Abed said easily, letting go of Jeff’s spare hand to sit down in his seat. “Jeff’s tired.”

“Did you stay up late watching movies again?” Troy asked, his eyes widening. “You could have done that at our place, you know.”

“Sure,” Jeff murmured. “Let’s go with that.”

“Are you planning anything nice for your anniversary? I mean, the dinner party on Saturday doesn’t really count, does it?” Annie’s smile was wide as she practically bounced up and down in her seat. “Ooh, ooh, did you give each other presents? I wanted to get something for you, but Shirley told me that people don’t do that.”

“We’re going to watch _I Am Legend_ ,” Abed answered. “And Jeff bought me a ring.”

Britta’s eyebrows shot up, and Annie squealed, and Shirley looked down at her clasped hands. Pierce hadn’t arrived yet, thank every god out there.

“Not like that,” Jeff told them, rolling his eyes.

“Like what?” Troy asked, glancing between Annie and Abed.

“I like shiny things,” Abed said.

Britta reached for Abed’s hand, and he frowned at her.

“Can I see the ring?” she asked after a moment.

“Sure.” Abed held out his hand, to show her the ring Jeff had given him. It was shaped like a dragon, the body curling around his finger and the mouth open in a roar. Two, small black gems glittered as eyes.

“I like the tiny little teeth,” Britta said. “They’re cute.”

“In a movie, it would have come alive,” Abed said, “and a sorcerer would start training me in magic and then a spell I used to clean everything would go disastrously wrong just before my date.” At the study group’s confused looks, he added, “ _The Sorcerer’s Apprentice_ ,” as an explanation.

“Awesome!” Troy leaned in closer, and then poked the ring as if trying to get the dragon to move.

“It’s not exactly a traditional present,” Shirley said. “On my first wedding anniversary with Andre, he got me a beautiful notebook. Paper is traditional, you know.”

“But it’s not Jeff and Abed’s wedding anniversary,” Annie said. “They’ve only been _dating_ for a year.” Her cheeks flushed, then she turned to Jeff to add, “Not that that’s any less important--”

“I’m not annoyed,” he quickly responded. “Abed and I have only been dating a year. Why would we be exchanging wedding anniversary presents?”

Shirley twisted her hands together. “Well, you know, marriage between two men isn’t legal, and I just thought…”

“No, we’re just boyfriends,” Abed said, looking away from Troy to join the conversation. “If we wanted to get married, we’d visit a state where it’s legal.”

Jeff sucked a breath in, feeling himself tense. His and Britta’s eyes met.

“Did you guys hear about the earthquake in Bali Island?” The question was a little too quick and sharp, but the group let themselves be thrown into a discussion about the amount that a person needed to keep up-to-date on the news.

Feeling himself relax again, Jeff noticed Troy staring at him across the table, but the younger man stiffened and looked away the second he realized Jeff had seen him.

_I wonder what’s going on there…_

* * *

Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps

The first thing Jeff saw when he woke up the morning after Halloween was Troy’s face, staring down at him.

“Woah! Jeez, Troy, you have to stop doing that.” Jeff checked his clock. “It’s seven in the morning.”

Troy winced and said, “Your…door was…unlocked?”

Jeff levelled an unimpressed look at him. “Was it now.”

“Because-I-unlocked-it-with-my-key,” Troy said, the words coming out in a barely decipherable rush. “Anyway! I need to talk to you about Abed.”

Jeff was instantly more awake, his back straightening. “Yeah?”

“Have you told him that you love him?”

Blinking, Jeff tried to process the words in a way that made sense. After a few seconds, when he realized that he had, in fact, heard Troy right, he said, “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

“You’re scared of commitment.”

The words were stark, and honest, and Jeff didn’t know when Troy had grown so good at reading people.

“Sure.”

“Does Abed know you love him?”

Jeff thought that Troy was making quite a few assumptions there – except he wasn’t, really, because he’d seen them together in a way none of the rest of the group had. “Yes, he does.”

Troy looked taken aback. “Oh. Cool.”

“Was that the reason you woke me at seven on a Saturday?” Jeff fixed Troy with a glare.

“Uhm…”

Jeff move and move as if he was going to leave his bed, and Troy just up and sprinted out of the bedroom. There was the sound of the front door slamming shut and a lock clicking, and Jeff settled back down in his warm duvet.

* * *

Advanced Gay

Jeff had been expecting Troy in his apartment for a game of ping-pong. He had not been expecting Annie.

“Oh.”

Annie’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but Troy just brushed past Jeff to get into the apartment and settle down on the couch.

“I’m sorry, I told Troy that he should have told you he was bringing me too.”

“Jeff doesn’t care,” Troy shouted from the couch. “I come over here without telling him all the time.”

“Jeff does care,” Jeff corrected. “Jeff gave you that key for emergencies only. Jeff regrets dating Troy’s best friend.”

Troy laughed loudly, and Jeff grinned, and Annie seemed to take that as an indicator to give a weak giggle.

“Come on in,” he told her, stepping back so she could see into his apartment. “Troy actually gave me a heads-up about tonight, so I stocked up on chips.”

Annie nodded firmly, walking over to the couch before stopping and glancing over at Jeff.

“Can I help with anything?”

“No,” Jeff said, waving a hand dismissively. “I’ll order take-out for dinner, and unless you want something other than pop, I’ve got the drinks covered.”

“Oh,” Annie said, a smile spreading on her face. “You’re quite the host.”

Jeff shrugged. “That one—” he jerked a thumb at Troy, who had turned the TV on and was flicking through the channels “—comes over enough that I’ve had to become one.”

“Abed comes here without warning all the time,” Troy returned, twisting to glare at him for a second before he returned to the TV. “You never complain about him.”

Jeff took three colas from the fridge and carried them over to the coffee table. “Abed is my _boyfriend_. You are my _friend_.”

“Friends should be allowed in each other’s apartments.”

Annie cleared her throat before interjecting, “I mean, none of the rest of the study group have really…been here. Jeff’s quite a, uh, private person.” She smiled at Jeff apologetically. “I’m sorry if we’re crossing any lines--”

“I already told you, don’t worry about,” Troy interrupted. “If Jeff actually cared, you’d know. His apartment is basically an extension of ours, I come over here when Abed’s busy. When you move in with us, you can come too!”

Jeff sighed. “He’s right, Annie. Troy visits far too often, but I’m not _that_ grumpy.”

Annie smiled at him, then Troy, then leaned forward to take one of the remaining soda cans. “Thank you.”

Troy picked up the final one and held it out. “Cheers!”

Clinking his can with hers, Annie enthusiastically repeated, “Cheers!”

Less enthusiastically, Jeff did the same. Moments later, Troy opened the can and cola fizzed up, spilling all over his hands and onto the coffee table.

“Oh, shit,” he swore, staring down at the soda soaking into the wood. Leaping to his feet, Troy rushed to the kitchen. “Jeff, where do you keep your absorbent things?”

Annie jumped to her feet, dashing into the kitchen area too, only to skid to a halt halfway through the arch. “Aww!” She spun on her heel, and gave Jeff a look that was entirely too delighted for his liking. “You’ve got a pride flag! How long has that been there, Jeff?”

“You can ‘aww’ later,” Troy told her, wrenching drawers open as he tried to find something to mop up the spillage with.

Sighing, Jeff rocked to his feet, setting down his can in the process. “Are you incapable of seeing things?” he snapped, perhaps a little bitingly, and pulled the dishcloth off the hook by the entrance to the kitchen.

Once Troy had taken it from him, leaping over the back of the couch in his haste to mop up the spill, Jeff turned to Annie.

“When did you get a pride flag?” she asked, a smile on her face.

On Jeff’s countertop, propped up in one of his expensive scotch glasses, were two flags on flimsy plastic sticks: the rainbow Pride flag, and the bisexual one.

Feeling his cheeks warming, Jeff gestured for Annie to return to the living room. “After the gay dance last week, and everything Pierce said about me being ashamed of myself, I thought I should do something to…you know.”

Annie’s mouth turned down into a pout, not moving from her spot. “You shouldn’t listen to Pierce. He may be improving, but he’s still homophobic _and_ biphobic. You don’t have to validate your sexuality to him, or anyone.”

“That’s what Abed told him,” Troy said, and they both turned to see him standing in the doorway. “Oh, excuse me.”

He stepped between them to dump the now-soaked dishcloth in the sink, then fixed his face with a very serious expression as he looked to Jeff.

“Now. Jeff. I’m going to say something now that you’re not going to like. But remember that you promised Abed to be nice to me.” Troy took a deep breath, then blurted out, “I-think-your-table-has-been-stained.”

Jeff rolled his eyes, leaning to check on the dark stain on the coffee table. “Whatever. I knew inviting people over was going to do something anyway. Did I tell you that Chang broke my lamp?”

“It gives it a more lived-in vibe,” Annie offered, moving to retake her seat on the couch next to Troy. The TV was still playing some sports match on a low volume. “You know, rather than—” she glanced around “—corporate housing.”

Jeff shrugged, settling back down in his favorite armchair.

Troy, who seemed satisfied that Jeff wasn’t too mad at him, said, “I think it’s cool that you got the Pride flags. Abed does too, for the record.”

“I already know what Abed thinks,” Jeff replied, but the words weren’t harsh. Rather, he sounded fond.

Leaning in to lower his voice to a whisper, Troy told Annie, “Abed likes it when Jeff feels more comfortable in himself.”

“I can hear you.”

“You already know this.”

Annie glanced between the two of them, then giggled. “You two are closer than I thought. I guess Abed likes that.”

Jeff sighed, feeling his mouth curve into a smile. “He does.”

* * *

Studies in Modern Movement

“ _Abed_ , _I don’t think I can do interaction today_ ,” Jeff said over the phone. His voice was quieter than normal, Abed noted, and there was a note to it that was normally there when he was telling the truth.

“Okay,” Abed said.

“ _Can you cover for me? I…don’t want the study group to know._ ”

“Okay,” Abed said again. “I could go with a kidnapping…ooh, or maybe you’ve received word of your great-aunt’s death, and need to head across the country to claim your inheritance. How’s your English accent?”

There was a pause, and then Jeff said, “ _I love you_ ,” a little hoarsely.

“I love you too. But I need to know what your English accent is like.”

“ _Just tell them I’m sick_.”

“That’s boring,” Abed told him. Out of the corner of his eye, Troy waved at him and jerked his thumb upwards, to Annie’s apartment, then tapped his bare wrist. “I’m sorry, I think Troy’s trying to tell me something. He touching his wrist?”

Jeff’s dry chuckle was tinny over the phone. “ _He’s saying you’re late_.”

“That makes sense,” Abed said.

“ _Have fun,_ ” Jeff told him, sounding oddly genuine, before hanging up.

Abed tucked his cell phone away in his pocket, then walked over to Troy.

“Did Jeff say anything interesting?”

“He’s sick.”

Troy raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yep.”

There was a pause, as Troy considered it, then he nodded. “I know Jeff can’t lie to you. We should probably head up, that guy over there’s been giving me a weird look and you were standing right by the entrance to Dildopolis for a while.”

The second Jeff heard the Dean’s voice, his heart sunk – and he’d begun to feel better after he’d forced himself out of bed, and the horrible mood he’d woken up to had begun to clear.

When the Dean blackmailed him into spending the day at the mall with him, Jeff was quick to remind the man that he was, in fact, in a relationship and had been for over a year. The Dean didn’t seem to care.

“And you’re _sure_ that Jeff’s actually sick?” Britta checked for the third time. “He’s not lying to get out of work?”

Abed nodded, again. “Jeff’s not well. He called me.”

“Abed, sweetie,” Britta started, and Troy stepped in then.

“Jeff doesn’t lie to Abed.” The words were final, and Troy turned to Annie with a grin on his face. “Moving time!”

Later, once Jeff had arrived at the apartment and they’d celebrated Annie’s move together as a group, he was sat on the sofa, curled up by Abed’s side with his eyes half-shut.

“What’s the blanket fort for?” Jeff asked. “You normally put it up in your bedroom.”

Abed shrugged with one shoulder, careful not to unbalance Jeff by moving the other. “That’s Troy and my room.”

Jeff frowned. “What?”

“Yeah. We made it for Annie, but then she made us realize that we were being inconsiderate so we moved our bunk bed instead,” Abed explained.

More awake now, Jeff twisted his neck to look up at Abed, an incredulous look forming on his face. “You were going to make Annie sleep in a blanket fort? When you said she was moving in, I thought you meant the Dreamatorium was going.”

“Oh, no,” Abed said. “The Dreamatorium’s not going.”

Jeff nodded. “I thought it was odd. You should have mentioned it to me, I could’ve told you Annie wouldn’t like that.”

“Okay,” Abed said. “You should go back to sleep. You’re tired.”

“Okay,” Jeff mumbled, half-nodding his head in agreement as he let his eyes slide shut again, slipping from his place on Abed’s shoulder to his lap in the process.

Across the room, Annie was craning her neck to see around the wall with Troy next to her.

“They’re so cute,” she whispered to him.

He nodded excitedly in agreement.

“Do they do this a lot?”

“Jeff comes over, like, every second night,” Troy whispered back. “He normally sleeps on the couch.”

Annie made her ‘that’s-adorable’ face.

* * *

Documentary Filmmaking: Redux

“I like your hair,” Abed commented idly, carding his fingers through it.

He and Jeff were lying in the blanket fort, on Abed’s top bunk, while Jeff checked the British soccer results. In an unusual turn of events, they were alone in the apartment.

“Mm?” Jeff murmured in response.

“I didn’t like your bald cap,” Abed continued. “I prefer you with hair.”

Jeff turned around to look at his boyfriend and very seriously said, “I prefer you with hair too.”

Abed leant down to kiss him, and Jeff rose to meet him, and the kiss grew more heated than intended.

Jeff twisted, moving to sit up and face Abed before pulling him into another kiss. Abed’s hand moved to his waist, then slipped under his crumpled shirt to find bare skin.

“Abed,” Jeff murmured, pulling back just an inch so he could talk.

“Yeah?” Abed’s response was little more than a breath as he gazed into Jeff’s eyes.

Jeff leaned in even closer and whispered, “I’m not having sex with you in a blanket fort.”

Abed made a disappointed noise, and Jeff chuckled before kissing him again. This time, it was far more chaste.

* * *

Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism

Jeff liked spending time with Shirley. They got on well, and she understood him in a way the others didn’t seem to understand, but since he’d come out, things had felt awkward between them. Jeff wasn’t sure how to broach the subject; he didn’t know if Shirley wanted to hear about his relationship with Abed.

The evening before his foosball training, though, they went out for drinks together and Shirley was the one who started the conversation.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been more supportive of you,” she said in a subdued voice.

Jeff turned to her, confused. “Huh?”

“With…with your sexuality, and Abed, and all that.”

“Oh,” Jeff said. “That.”

He wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to have the conversation right then, but Shirley continued regardless.

“I should have been more supportive. Not just when you came out, but in the years before that I shouldn’t have said some of things I did. I see, now, that I was wrong to think that way. If it helps, Andre and I are considering switching to a different church. One that isn’t so homophobic.”

“Thank you,” Jeff said, quiet. “That…means a lot.”

“I’m sorry, Jeffrey.”

Shirley looked so honestly sincere that Jeff couldn’t help the warm feeling blooming in his chest.

“Thank you,” he repeated.

“Why,” Jeff asked, trying to keep his voice as even as possible, “has your grappling hook moved?”

The grappling hook, which normally sat on a shelf by the TV, had been laid out on the dining table. Jeff, who knew that everything in the apartment had its place and items on the TV shelf Did Not move, was concerned.

Abed’s face lit up. “I discovered that Rick stole my Batman DVD and broke it. Also, he collects women’s shoes. He had some of Annie’s.”

“Why did that require your grappling hook?”

“So Batman could go via the fire escape. He needed the grappling hook to do that.”

Jeff let out a deep sigh. “ _Abed_.”

“To be fair to him, Rick had stolen a pair of my shoes,” Annie interjected. “That was really creepy.” She shivered.

“So, let me get this straight,” Jeff said, trying to remain as calm as possible. “Abed broke into your landlord’s apartment to try and retrieve a pair of shoes he’d _maybe_ taken.”

“We didn’t know anything about the shoes until afterwards,” Annie admitted.

“Abed broke into your landlord’s apartment on a scrap of evidence,” Jeff amended.

Abed shrugged. “Batman did.”

Jeff closed his eyes and counted to ten. “Abed,” he said once he’d opened them again, “you should not break into other people’s apartments. Even if you’re Batman. He’s a criminal. Except he had the money to pay if he was arrested – you don’t. Also, for the record, prison’s not great.”

“But we didn’t get arrested.”

“You could have done.”

“But we didn’t.”

Jeff raised an eyebrow. “You’re arguing with the lawyer on this?” When Annie opened her mouth, he changed it to, “Ex-lawyer,” without hesitating.

“I am,” Abed said slowly, “but I take your point.”

“I’m not ordering you to stop,” Jeff said, “because you don’t like that. I am, however, recommending – as an ex-lawyer, and your boyfriend – that you don’t break into other people’s apartments again. Especially your landlord’s.”

Abed considered the point for a moment, then nodded. “I’ll make sure to tell Batman.”


	5. Season 3, part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: this chapter has a brief discussion about self-harm. It's not about anything out of canon - Jeff finds Abed trying to remove his own tonsils. It's in the part labelled 'Contemporary Impressionists'.

Regional Holiday Music

“I can’t believe that Jeff let himself succumb to Glee Club!” Britta exclaimed, her eyes wide. She leant forward on the couch in the student lounge.

Shirley nodded, mouth turned downwards, but Annie scoffed. She was sat on the table, facing them and the vending machines.

“You really can’t believe that? Honestly.”

The other two women frowned at her.

“Abed’s the one who wanted us to make the most of the holidays together,” Annie said. “ _Abed_? Jeff’s boyfriend?”

Britta shook her head. “I thought Jeff could resist better than that.”

“You two _clearly_ haven’t noticed how close they are,” Annie said.

“Well,” Shirley said, “they don’t act very romantically. Most young couples I know are very passionate with each other.”

Annie shook her head. “They aren’t demonstrative people. On film nights, when they don’t think Troy or I are watching, they snuggle up together.”

Shirley aww-ed.

“It’s very cute,” Annie agreed, smiling. “Anyway, my point is that Abed probably, um, _convinced_ Jeff.” She blushed. “If you know what I mean.”

Britta nodded very seriously. “I do know what you mean. _Abed seduced Jeff_!”

“Does it really count as seduction if they’re already in a relationship?” Annie asked, doubtful, but Britta waved a dismissive hand at her.

Shirley made a noise of agreement. “Absolutely. I _knew_ things would end like this. They’re going to convince us to join the Glee Club and then we’ll be stuck there forever.”

Pierce appeared in front of them then, and Annie twisted around to glare at him.

“What do you want?”

“Don’t think you’re going to drag us over to the Dark Side,” Britta snapped, clutching her bag to her chest.

Then a choir of kids appeared, and sung about Christianity, and Shirley _succumbed_ while Britta and Annie sprinted away.

Later, after the pageant had ended catastrophically and then they’d all visited Abed, and then others had gone home and Troy and Annie were asleep, Jeff turned to his boyfriend with a serious expression on his face.

“I’m sorry I didn’t make it clear enough that I’ll be spending Christmas with you,” he said, his voice gentle. “And I’m sorry for shutting down your attempts to get the others involved.”

Abed looked back at him, meeting his gaze for a moment before he looked away again. “Thank you. For apologizing. And for convincing the others to come over.”

“I did talk to them,” Jeff said, his mouth twitching upwards. “Gave a truly magnificent Winger speech, my best one yet.”

Abed gave him the faintest smile.

“But, honestly, they didn’t really need convincing,” Jeff continued. “Our friends love you, Abed. You’re important to them, and so is your happiness.”

A proper smile on his face forming now, Abed said, “What about the Winger speech?”

“Oh, they cut me off four words in,” Jeff answered easily, making Abed laugh.

* * *

Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts

Jeff was scared of commitment.

Not the kind that came with simply being in a relationship – no, he loved Abed.

He was scared of the idea of _marriage_. His parents had had a messy, _messy_ divorce; even as an adult, he could recall every moment of the proceedings to that day. Because, to Jeff, a relationship was one thing.

You liked someone, and they liked you; you both said it.

Then you loved someone, and they loved you; you both said it.

If things took a terrible turn, you could leave and there wasn’t anything anyone could do to stop you.

But marriage? There were complications, with marriage. There were complications that could make a divorce messy.

So, when Andre Bennett proposed to Shirley again, it freaked Jeff out.

He loved Abed, and their relationship was comfortable, but the sight of another one of his friends getting married – for the second time, to the same person – made something young and broken by William Winger inside of him worry.

“Jeff, I was wondering if you’d do us the honor of making the toast at our wedding?” Shirley asked, her voice nearly cloyingly sweet in the way it had been nearly-constantly since the proposal

A calculating look crossed Annie’s face. “Good idea! Jeff has a _lot_ of thoughts about marriage.”

Jeff ignored Annie’s delight at what was probably going to be a disaster, and simply said, “I would be honored.”

“I thought, given you’re in such a happy relationship with Abed,” Shirley continued, “that you would be the best fit.”

Feeling himself, Jeff glanced over at Abed, who tilted his head to one side. “Sure.”

When Jeff reiterated to Annie that he thinks marriage is dumb, she frowned.

“What about Abed?” There was an accusation in her voice.

“What about him?” Jeff’s words came out more defensively than he’d intended.

Annie made an annoyed noise, settling in her seat properly as if preparing for a long conversation. “Well, same-sex marriage isn’t going to be illegal forever. Surely you’re planning on getting married at some point?”

Jeff shrugged, the motion just over the line from ‘casual’ and into ‘stiff’. “No.”

“You shouldn’t have dismissed it that easily,” Annie said. “Not like that, anyway. Certainly not in front of your boyfriend of a year and two months.” She hesitated, then added, excited smile returning for a moment, “And twenty-one days.”

Jeff gave her a look. “Annie, you are seriously invested in my relationship.”

“I just don’t want to see either of you hurt! I know how much you care about each other – even love each other.” Annie lit up again. “Actually, have you said that yet?” She pulled out a pen, and a notebook. “If so, when?”

Groaning, Jeff snatched the pen away from her. “Jesus, Annie.”

“I’m happy for you,” she said defensively, reaching to try and take the pen back; Jeff set it down on the table in front of her. “You two are so good together, and I want to be like that someday with the person I love. Taking notes is important.”

“Why not focus on Shirley’s relationship?” Jeff asked, waving his hand vaguely. “She’s married – twice, soon – with her husband and three kids and all that bullshit.”

Annie shook her head. “That’s a long-standing relationship, with complicated things that I’ll never know. You and Abed, however… You’re so cute together!”

“I’m leaving now,” Jeff told her, gathering up his paper and pen to stalk off.

Before he could leave entirely, Annie called out, “Just say what you like about Shirley!”

“Abed!” Jeff exclaimed, stumbling towards his boyfriend and throwing himself down in his lap.

“Hello, love,” Abed said, half-chuckling. When Jeff started to slide off him, he quickly readjusted the man. “It looks like you’ve had a few too many.”

“I love you,” Jeff told him very seriously. “I don’t say…I don’t say it enough. I love you!” He surged forward to press his lips to Abed’s in a sloppy kiss.

A few of the guests near Annie murmured at the sight of the two men kissing, so she turned her glare on them.

“That’s enough, Jeff,” Abed said, pulling back and giving his boyfriend an amused look. “We’re in public.”

“I’m a dick,” Jeff said, locking eyes with him. “I keep on telling you that I’m not ready for marriage! No one…no one’s ready for marriage when they’ve been dating a year, so why do I keep on telling you that? I don’t _need_ to, it’s unnecessary, I’m a dick.” He nodded once, sharply, to emphasize his point, then looked at Abed expectantly to wait for a response.

“I don’t think you’re a dick,” Abed said, his voice softening back to something more like his normal tone. “I think you’re scared, and I think you're misremembering how much you normally talk about marriage. I also think you’re going to regret being this loud and obnoxious in the morning.”

Troy glanced at Annie over Abed’s head, and nodded very seriously. She nodded back, then got to her feet and left the room to go talk to Shirley and Andre.

“Look at you!” Jeff said, waving in the vague shape of Abed and Troy’s grey suits. “You think you have to be all dressed up and _weird_.”

Abed laughed again. “You’re mistaken, love. I think you’ll find Troy and I are being ordinary.”

“No, you’re not,” Jeff groaned, levering himself up into a more upright position so he could inspect Abed’s tie more closely. “I don’t like. You should be _normal_. You know, weird.”

Shirley entered the room again, with Andre beside her and a happier smile on her face. Annie smiled at the door, taking a seat on the bench next to Leonard.

“Shhh,” Britta whispered loudly, plonking herself down at Troy’s feet. “Something’s happening!”

The man officiating the ceremony gave them a judgmental look, but started the wedding.

Later, when Jeff saw Abed, a plastic bowl upturned on his head, with Troy, wearing a massive grin, a surge of relief crashed through him.

* * *

Contemporary Impressionists

When Jeff walked into apartment 303, the first thing he saw was the bathroom door open; inside, Abed had his head tilted back and knife-wielding hand hovering over his open mouth.

“Abed!” Jeff shouted, dropping the bag of groceries he’d brought them to dash forward and grab Abed’s wrist and hold it still. “What are you doing?”

Abed’s brow pinched. “I have tonsillitis.”

“ _What_?”

“I have tonsillitis,” Abed repeated, his confused look growing more pronounced.

The reminder of who he was talking to – that Abed wouldn’t automatically understand Jeff’s actions – made him let go of Abed’s wrist, step back, and take a deep breath.

“I meant to ask, why aren’t you at a hospital?”

Abed shook his head. “I don’t like doctors.”

“Why were you holding a knife to you throat?” Jeff feared he already knew the answer.

“I have tonsillitis,” Abed repeated. “My tonsils need to be removed.”

Jeff ignored the sudden, blistering panic that seared through him and instead asked if he could take the knife from Abed; when Abed agreed he gently carried it back to the kitchen and its rightful place in the knife block.

Abed followed him.

Once Jeff was convinced that he wasn’t going to start yelling, he took another deep breath and said, “You can’t remove your own tonsils.”

“Why not?”

“You can’t perform surgery on yourself. Remember? We had this conversation when I was jealous of Rich. You can be arrested, because you pose a threat to yourself.”

“I’m not self-harming,” Abed disagreed. “I don’t like doctors.”

“Well, technically you’re trying to do something that is going to hurt you. Which, some might say, is the definition of ‘self-harming.’”

“No,” Abed said. “Because I’m not doing it for the express purpose of hurting myself.”

“Self-harm is the act of deliberately harming yourself,” Jeff countered. “Removing your own tonsils is a deliberate act, and you’d be harming yourself.”

Abed tilted his head to one side. “Are you going to try and make me go to the doctor?”

Jeff offered his hand, but Abed shook his head, and he pulled back. Then he asked, in the gentlest voice he could manage without sounding condescending, “Can you at least have them check that you have tonsillitis? I can even go with you, or Troy, and make sure I stay with you the whole time.”

“What happens if I do have tonsillitis?” Abed asked. “I don’t like doctors.”

“Can we, uh, shelve that until it comes up?”

Abed considered it for a moment, then nodded. “Okay. I’ll make an appointment for tomorrow, and you and Troy will come with me.”

There was the footsteps outside, and then Annie’s gasp came loudly from the doorway. “Why is the door open? And why are groceries on the floor?”

Thankfully, the doctor told Abed – and Jeff and Troy – that he didn’t, in fact, have tonsillitis when they for the appointment the next day.

* * *

Digital Exploration of Interior Design

Jeff didn’t recognize Kim. The man’s face was forgettable, and his name was stupid, and Jeff later used that as an excuse.

But when Jeff had finished his apology – and what a lovely apology it was – Kim said, “We had sex ten times.”

“ _What_ ,” Annie spluttered out, her cheeks darkening in seconds.

Jeff shook his head. “I don’t remember. Sorry, Kim.”

“It was a few years ago,” Kim said. “I know you’re dating that other dude now.”

“Ten times… Wow. I must have given the wrong impression.” Jeff winced. “Sorry, again.”

Kim shrugged. “It’s cool. The whole ‘introducing yourself each time’ kind of gave it away.”

“What,” Annie shouted, “the hell!”

The conversation deteriorated from there.

* * *

Pillows and Blankets

Later, Jeff would admit that he had been a dick in the pillow fight. He would apologize to Troy and Abed for not trying to step in sooner, and for trying to force them to work it out on their terms; he would admit that he knew they weren’t going to do that.

At the start of the war, though, he didn’t really consider his part in it. Abed was Jeff’s boyfriend. Troy was Jeff’s good friend. He didn’t want to see either of them hurt, honestly, but he also didn’t want to take a side. He didn’t think he should be taking a side; the argument was one of the ones where a small problem was clearly substituting for a larger, longer-term one.

The problem was that he didn’t know what that larger, longer-term, problem was.

Ultimately, Jeff didn’t want to get between Troy and Abed’s friendship. He knew that he could have tried to solve things, but he also knew that, in doing so, he didn’t want to take that chance. He chose himself over them.

_Jeff_ , Annie’s text read, _just heard from one of Troy’s soldiers about a speech you gave a Blanket Fort. Confused about the side you chose, but proud of you for taking a stance._

_Thank you, Annie_ , Jeff replied. _I’m proud of you too, and of us all. Also wish the nightmare would end, but using what I’m given to give what I can._

Jeff swung the door open, finding Annie sitting on the couch in her hospital ward.

“Why are you ignoring me?”

“What’s the point of talking to you? They’re just _things_ you say to get what you want.” Annie looked mad, but also disappointed. She and Jeff passed the romantic attraction years before; at this point, he considered her a good friend. A good friend with an annoyingly convincing disappointed look.

“Well, that’s what conversation is, Annie,” Jeff replied, taking on the seat on the empty hospital bed next to her couch. “People just saying things to get stuff.”

“Maybe you should shut up then!” Annie shut the book she was holding with a snap and set it to one side. “Jeff, I thought you cared about Troy and Abed. Why are you letting them do this to each other? Why are you convincing them to continue?”

Jeff shrugged. “I do. But Troy and Abed are adults, not little kids with issues that can be resolved with a dozen inspiring words. Their problems are complex, and long-term, and this is…everything coming to a head, really quickly. If I say or do the wrong thing, their relationship could be ruined. _My_ relationship – with both of them, not just Abed – could be ruined. This is something that they’re going to sort out themselves, as only they know how to do that, within a couple of days. The pillow war’s going to be a method for them to do that. Don’t you know? That’s how Greendale works.”

Annie scoffed. “Yeah, right. You’re just trying to profit from a terrible situation. If you think everything’s going to _sort itself out_ so easily, why did you give those speeches?”

“Troy and Abed are using this war to work out their feelings,” Jeff answered easily, the logic clear in his mind. “If everyone else stops fighting it, they won’t have that anymore.”

Annie said, “You’re an asshole.” Before Jeff could reply, she straightened then asked, “Do you ever consider writing stuff down in a journal? Somewhere, just for you, to sort out the truth?”

Her dismissal of Jeff’s rationalization made him throw his shields up, as he later realized. “If I write stuff down in a Hello Kitty journal, will you like me again?” He faked a grin – a very realistic one, that he’d been practicing since he was a kid – when she stormed out. “I’ll take that as a yes!”

Then word got around that Troy and Abed were hurting each other’s feelings, and Jeff realized that it wasn’t an issue that was going to resolve itself. No one knew exactly what had been said between the two of them.

Jeff had heard that Troy had cried, which wasn’t a big deal; Jeff had heard that Abed had cried. That was bad.

So he texted them both, trying to arrange a meeting, but when they showed up it was only to throw insults at each other and shout about what the other had said. Jeff tried to catch them – stop one of them, at least, from leaving before he could try and get a proper understanding of the situation – but they both stormed out in opposite directions.

When the battle erupted in the cafeteria, Jeff wasn’t there in time to try and talk to Abed or Troy before it begins. However, once it had, he tried shoving his way through the scrum to reach Abed. Or Troy. He wasn’t fussy, he just needed them to _stop_ so they could talk, properly.

Without having the threat of armies and invasions to hold over each other.

Eventually, after he’d been hit with pillows more times than a neutral soldier strictly should have been, Jeff found Abed.

“Stop,” he shouted, holding his arms out as he stepped in front of his boyfriend, but Abed only hesitated for a second before trying to step around him.

Jeff moved in front of him again. “Abed. This needs to stop. _You_ need to stop.”

“I need to beat Troy,” Abed disagreed. “Where’s he gone?”

Jeff shook his head, reaching out to attempt to take the pillow from Abed. He failed.

“I need to find Troy,” Abed said. “Where’s he gone?”

Jeff raised an eyebrow at him. “Is that what’s going on here? Something’s _wrong_ , Abed. I know you, and this isn’t it. You’ve gone an entire two-and-a-half days in a war documentary and not commented on it once. You considered Troy’s weaknesses. You _made him cry_.”

Abed shook his head, expression smoothing into one Jeff rarely saw on him. “I need Troy. Where’s he gone?”

Noticing the slight change in wording, Jeff grabbed Abed’s arm when he tried to move away again. “ _Abed_. You need to talk to him. Not hit him with pillows.”

Abed shook his head. “No. I need to beat Troy. Where’s he gone?”

Suddenly, a sharp whistle cut through the cafeteria and the fighting around them stopped. When the Dean told everyone to go home, they did, and just Abed and Troy were left.

“Guys, stop,” Jeff said, holding his hands out between them.

“No,” Abed said.

Abed looked for a moment like he wanted to nod, then realized that would mean agreeing with his ‘enemy’ and shook his head instead.

“Why don’t you want to stop?” Jeff asked.

Troy shrugged, continuing to hit his best friend with a pillow. “I don’t know.”

“If it ends, this is over,” Abed explained, his voice catching on the words ever so slightly.

“Don’t want it to be over,” Troy agreed.

Jeff sighed. “Well, if you don’t want it to be over and you’re willing to continue fighting…forever in order for it not to be, doesn’t that show you that you should maybe consider being friends again?”

Troy shook his head. “It’s not enough anymore.”

“Yeah,” Abed agreed. “We’re grown-ups now.”

“You were grown-ups before,” Jeff said, his voice softening against his will. “I know I say a lot of shit, and other people do too sometimes, but that’s all it is: shit. Acting less maturely sometimes doesn’t make you any less adult, and all me acting that way does is make me a dick.”

“That is true,” Troy said.

“You are a dick sometimes.”

“Thanks, Abed,” Jeff muttered, then groaned. “See? I did it again.”

“I get your point,” Troy said, “but that doesn’t help.”

An idea hit Jeff like a truck. “What if,” he said, “you used that magical friendship hats I got you?”

Abed shook his head. “You’re sometimes sincere about that kind of thing, but even I know you were being sarcastic then.”

“I wasn’t, though,” Jeff told him; told them both. “I wanted this over, quickly, because I don’t like it when you two fight. I went about it the wrong way – probably because I’m sarcastic about fifty percent of the time – but I did mean it. And, more importantly, it meant something to you.”

Abed and Troy looked at each other for a moment, then both nodded. “Okay.”

“Do you remember where I left them?” Jeff asked, feeling some of his tension slip away.

“In the Dean’s office,” Troy said, like it was obvious.

Abed rolled his eyes. “Yeah, Jeff. How could you forget?”

“Ok, I’ll be back in a moment,” Jeff told them, then jogged off.

Greendale was oddly quiet, feathers slowly settling on the ground now that the war had finished, and everyone had gone home.

He returned to the cafeteria a few minutes later with the imaginary hats in hand, then placed them on Abed’s, then Troy’s, heads. The two men looked at each other for a moment, then did their handshake.

Jeff couldn’t help the grin that spread on his face.

The next day, when Abed was curled up under the blankets on Jeff’s bed, he asked in a very small voice, “Are you patient with me?”

Jeff blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Do…do you get tired of me?” Abed asked, even more quietly this time.

“Where’s this coming from?”

Abed, twisting his dragon ring around his finger, said, “When I sent the mean email about Troy, he texted me back. He…he said that no one else will ever have his patience with me.”

Jeff didn’t say anything for a moment, considering the best way to put his feelings into words. “Abed,” he said at last, “you don’t test my patience. I love it when you’re fascinated by things, or are very passionate about them. If you don’t understand my meaning, or facial expressions, sometimes, that’s fine. I have _many_ flaws you put up with.

“So, no. I’m not being patient with you. Troy just said what he knew would hurt you the most.”

Abed smiled faintly, tucking himself into Jeff’s side. “Cool, cool, cool.”

“Have you talked to Troy about it?” Jeff asked gently.

“No,” Abed said. “We’ve never really fought before, I’m not sure what the procedure is for this situation. We watched _Kickpuncher_ when we got home.”

Jeff nodded in understanding. “Well, you should tell him you’re sorry for sending that email.”

“Okay,” Abed said.

“Then he should sorry for sending that text,” Jeff continued. “If he doesn’t, tell me. But he will.”

“Cool,” Abed said. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow morning.”

He looked up at Jeff for a moment, studying him, then pushed himself up to kiss Jeff.

* * *

Origins of Vampire Mythology

“I enjoyed _Blade_ ,” Jeff said, stretching before getting up from his chair. “It’s been years since I last watched it, but it’s even better than I remember.”

“Of course you like it,” Abed said, “it’s a fantastic movie.”

Jeff smiled at his boyfriend. “It is.”

“We can watch _Blade II_ for tomorrow’s date night,” Abed said.

“That sounds fun.”

Behind them, Britta whispered to Annie, “Are they always like this?”

Ignoring her, Jeff leant in and pressed a kiss to Abed’s forehead.

“They’re normally worse,” Annie whispered back.

“Is Britta still going to be here tomorrow?” Jeff asked Abed pointedly.

Abed nodded. “Yep.”

“Move it to my place?”

Britta made an offended noise in the background, and Troy and Annie both hid their laughs.

“Sounds good,” Abed said.

* * *

Virtual Systems Analysis

Jeff jumped into his car the second Troy called him to say that Abed was having a meltdown. The drive was only ten minutes, and when he got to their apartment, he immediately saw the problem: the bunk beds had been separated.

“Okay,” he said. “Troy, help Abed while Annie and I sort out the bunk beds. The bathroom should be good.”

Troy nodded, going over to Abed to gently guide him to the bathroom and away from the blanket fort. Jeff turned to Annie.

“Get the other end of the mattress,” he instructed.

Annie opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again. “Okay.”

Together, they slowly put the bunk bed back together again; it took them a good hour, and there were still blankets and sheets and pillows to arrange, but Jeff went to knock on the door of the bathroom to let Abed know that things were almost back to normal.

“He’s doing a bit better,” Troy murmured as he opened the door to let Jeff in.

Abed was sitting on the toilet, his back ramrod-straight and his hands clutched together so tightly that his knuckles were white.

“Hey, Abed,” Jeff said, crouching down in front of him. “Everything’s back to normal now. Do you want to see?”

Abed didn’t move for a while. When he did, he looked up at Jeff – not meeting his eyes, but instead focusing on a point just above his head.

He nodded.

Troy let out a deep sigh of relief behind Jeff, and Jeff stood up again and offered a hand to Abed. He took it.

* * *

Basic Lupine Urology

Abed wasn’t in Jeff’s bed when Jeff woke up that morning, which usually meant he was having a bad day, so he waited for a few minutes before rolling to his feet and slipping his silk robe on.

Sure enough, Abed was curled up on the sofa when Jeff padded into the living room, wrapped in no less than three fluffy blankets. He barely looked up.

“Is it a bad day?” Jeff asked, keeping his voice quiet as he moved to sit next to Abed but didn’t touch.

Abed just nodded.

“Okay. Do you want me to put a film on?”

Abed shook his head this time.

“I’ll get you some breakfast,” Jeff murmured, getting to his feet again. “Pancakes, as normal. Then call into Greendale and say you’re sick.”

Biting his lip, Abed made an unhappy noise, reaching out to grab Jeff’s sleeve. Jeff immediately stilled, looking back down at his boyfriend. “You don’t want me to call in?”

Abed shook his head.

“You…don’t want me to go?”

Pulling his hand back and snuggling tighter in his blankets was Abed’s way of agreeing with what Jeff had said, so Jeff sat back down on the sofa and pulled his phone out to send a text message explaining the situation to Troy, who could then explain a less detailed version to the others.

* * *

Course Listing Unavailable

“You’re actually working on that?” Jeff’s eyebrows rose as he watched Abed putting together the footage for Starburns memorial video.

“Yep,” Abed said. “Also, can you take the ashes?”

Jeff inhaled sharply. “Take the _what_?”

“The ashes,” Abed repeated, twisting on his stool to point around the corner, to the shelf where an urn sat. “Starburns gave them to me.”

“No, I understood the first time,” Jeff said. “My question is why Starburns gave them to you and not his son or something.”

Abed shrugged. “I don’t know. But Troy doesn’t like them. Can you take them?”

“I’d…rather not. Can’t we just give them to the school or something at the memorial service later?”

“Sure,” Abed said. “I’m not bothered.”

Jeff nodded. “How do you think the others are dealing with it?”

“Badly,” Abed said. “According to my simulations, Annie and Shirley will express their upset the most obviously, Troy will cry, Pierce will ask about his comb, and Britta will try to therapize us.”

Jeff huffed a laugh, leaning back on his stool. “Sounds about right.”

“You’re going to pretend you’re fine when you’re not,” Abed added, tilting his head to one side as he studied Jeff.

“Uh, _no_ ,” Jeff scoffed. “I’m not pretending to be fine, I just am.”

“That’s a lie,” Abed immediately responded.

“ _Dammit_ ,” Jeff muttered under his breath. “Why do I even try to lie to you?”

Abed shrugged. “You’re a private person who puts up his walls when he feels emotionally vulnerable. You’ve been improving, and are open and communicative with me, but now an external situation has occurred and you think showing weakness is bad.”

Jeff’s eyes widened, his eyebrows climbing his forehead. “Well, shit.”

“Yeah,” Abed said. “You shouldn’t shut me out.”

Taking a deep breath, Jeff stared down at his glass of scotch. After a moment, he glanced up at Abed and gave him a weary smile. “I’ll try not to.”

“Cool,” Abed said, smiling back at him.

* * *

Curriculum Unavailable

The psychologist told them that Abed was insane, and Jeff didn’t know what to say. He also didn’t believe it; Abed was special, not crazy.

“You’re the insane one,” he growled, tightening his grip on the arms of his chair. “You can’t commit Abed.”

Abed didn’t say anything, just staring down at the metal puzzle toy he was solving.

“Please don’t send my friend to crazy people jail,” Troy said, tears welling in his eyes.

“I said already: he can’t. Abed’s not dangerous.”

“Yeah,” Shirley agreed. “He’s just unique. Like a snowflake. Who gets bent out of shape if you mix up _Star Wars_ and _Space Treks_.”

Abed nodded very seriously, but didn’t say anything, and Jeff knew then that he wasn’t taking this well. At all.

“Or a serial killer’s signature,” Britta said. “I’m a psych major.”

The doctor shook his head. “His continued obsession with Greendale Community College suggests the potential for escalation. And, frankly, these stories you’ve been telling me are very troubling.”

Later, when the study group had found out the truth, and the fact that Abed had been right all along, they all went home. Abed went to Jeff’s.

“How are you doing?” Jeff’s voice was concerned as he mixed a glass of special drink.

Abed’s face was blank as he swung up onto the kitchen counter. “I don’t like doctors.”

“I know,” Jeff said. “That’s why I asked.” He held out the glass to Abed, who took it but didn’t drink, and just waited for the other man to be ready to talk.

It took a few minutes, but Abed eventually said, “I didn’t like him saying I should be committed. It reminded me of when I was younger.”

“I thought it might,” Jeff murmured. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Abed considered his response for another moment, then said, “No. I’m good.”

“Okay,” Jeff said.

There was a pause, then Abed slurped down some of his special drink.

“I forgot to mention earlier, but I like your hoodie,” Jeff said, changing the subject as he leaned against the counter next to where Abed was sitting.

Abed glanced down, briefly inspecting the three lines: the three colors of the bi flag. “I like it too.”

“I figured,” Jeff said with a smile. “Do you want to stay over tonight, or go back to your place?”

“I think I’ll go back,” Abed answered after a moment’s consideration. “Troy took the fake psychologist’s words pretty badly. It would be bad for him to not see me tonight.”

“Okay,” Jeff said, leaning up to press a kiss to Abed’s cheek. “I think you’re right.”

Abed turned his head to capture Jeff’s lips in a proper kiss. After a moment, he pulled back. “Yeah. Do you want to come with me or stay here?”

“I’ll stay here.”

Hopping down from the counter, Abed nodded. “Cool, cool, cool. Want to come over tomorrow? Troy and I are going to watch _James Bond_ , because of the whole plotting thing that Chang’s doing.”

“That sounds fun. I’ll be there at ten.” Jeff gave his boyfriend a real, genuine smile.

Two evenings later, when Jeff’s phone rang at three in the morning, his first thought was that there was an emergency of some kind.

“Hello?” he asked, his voice rough with sleep.

Troy’s familiar voice came from the other end of the line. “ _Hey, Jeff, what’s your question?_ ”

“Why the hell are you calling?” Jeff asked, rubbing his eyes as he pulled the phone away from his ear to check the time. “It’s three in the morning, I’m trying to sleep.”

“ _I’m sorry to hear that, Jeff_ ,” Abed said next. “ _Why don’t you stay on the line and we’ll get your information._ ”

“ _Yeah,_ ” Troy agreed. “ _We’ll get you the help you need._ ”

“This,” Jeff told them just before they hung up, “is not why you should be calling me at three in morning.”

* * *

Digital Estate Planning

“I’ll stay with Hilda,” Abed said. “I can help her rebuild, and find out more about the game.”

Jeff nodded, even if the others couldn’t see it. “Okay. We’ll make sure to pop in if we die.”

“I’ll tell you about everything later,” Troy promised.

Annie added, “We’ll bring something back for you.”

“Have fun!” Jeff said.

Jeff stared at the army of child-slaves. “Abed, is this something I should be worried about?”

“No,” Abed replied easily. “I’m not in love with Hilda. She’s just my friend, who I’ve had some babies with.”

“I think Jeff was referring to the army of children you’ve created,” Britta said. “You know? The _slaves_?”

“No, I was referring to Hilda,” Jeff told her. “This is just video games stuff.”

“He’s right,” Troy input. “Stuff works differently in real life.”

Even Shirley made a noise of agreement. “Annie’s taught me that.”

“If I dump Hilda, will you guys get going?” Abed asked.

Troy laughed, but everyone else was silent until Abed added, “That was sarcasm. Obviously I’m not dating Hilda.”

“You should kiss Jeff in game, just to piss Pierce’s dad off,” Troy said.

“I don’t think there’s a kiss function,” Britta said. “We don’t want one of us to die _again_.”

Abed coughed to get all their attention. “If we want to beat Gilbert we should get moving. I’ll show you the weapons I’ve built.”

* * *

The First Chang Dynasty

When Abed first saw Jeff in his magician costume, his eyes widened slightly but he didn’t display any other reaction. Once they were thrown into the basement, though, he pulled him to one side.

“I like you in eyeliner,” Abed murmured, going on his tiptoes to whisper in Jeff’s ear.

A smirk broke through the anger on Jeff’s face. “Do you now?”

“Yep,” Abed said. “I do.” He stepped closer, moving his hands to rest on Jeff’s hips, and kissed him.

“Oh!” Shirley exclaimed loudly in the background, but Abed ignored her – and the others’ – reactions in favor of Jeff.

It was a long, deep kiss, and by the time they broke away, the rest of the group looked truly scandalized. Annie was flushed a deep, deep red.

“You didn’t have to do that _in front of us_ ,” Britta said, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Gay,” Pierce muttered under his breath. “So, so gay.”

Everyone ignored him.

“Could we, um, focus on trying to get out?” Annie asked, her voice high-pitched and embarrassed. “You can kiss later. Preferably where the rest of us can’t see.”

Abed shrugged, pulled Jeff down to whisper, “We’ll continue this at yours when we get out of here,” took in Jeff’s delighted expression, then returned to Troy’s side, unconcerned.

They didn’t get the chance to continue later, because Troy had to leave for the air-conditioning repair school and, that night, Jeff simply held Abed as he fell apart.

* * *

Introduction to Finality

Abed was struggling without Troy. Jeff knew that. But he also didn’t know how to help with that.

From the very start of their romantic relationship, he’d known that he was not there to ‘replace’ Troy; they had different, separate roles in Abed’s life. So the sudden loss of Troy had thrown everything off.

Of course Jeff missed Troy himself, as they’d grown to be close friends, but Abed was more important so he shoved his feelings on the matter to one side. He had plenty of experience at doing that.

By the end of summer school – in mid-July – Abed hadn’t gotten much better, and Jeff wasn’t sure what he could do. He’d tried talking to Abed, but been shut down, and he when he’d suggested a therapist, Abed had reminded him that he hated doctors.

[“This place has made you so gay,” Alan said, and Jeff resisted the urge to laugh.

“Tell it to my boyfriend,” he called back instead. The way Alan’s eyes widened and his lawyer mask cracked would cheers Jeff up for days to come.]

Then, Troy returned – with one of the weirdest stories Jeff had heard, and that was saying something at Greendale – and the only thing he felt was relief.


	6. Season 4

History 101

In the end, Jeff decided to take the extra classes over the summer. He’d considered it, and then talked to Abed, and then considered it some more, and realized that he would still see his boyfriend, and the others, all the time even if he left a few terms before them.

The Dean announced the second-last task as tango dancing, and Jeff instinctively looked over at Abed, saw that there was something wrong, and immediately backed out of the competition. Abed needed him, and he knew that he would need to dance with the Dean to win. And he wasn’t ready to win.

So, in the end, they didn’t get to take History of Ice Cream. It was a shame, Jeff later thought, but his friends were more important.

When Jeff saw the Dean in the hallway in front of his apartment, he froze.

“Oh, hey Jeffrey,” the man said. “Fancy seeing you here! What a coincidence, huh?”

“Why are you here?” Jeff asked, and the words came out stiffly but he didn’t particularly care.

The Dean made him uncomfortable. Jeff was in a committed relationship, and had been for nearly two years, but the man would still flirt with him and touch him and Jeff _didn’t like it_.

“Funny story,” the Dean said. He looked positively delighted with himself. “I live here now! How about that?”

Jeff stared at him for a moment, then spun on his heel and walked into his apartment and slammed the door shut.

* * *

Paranormal Parentage

Staring down at his dad’s old boxing gloves, Jeff took another sip of scotch.

Abed had asked if he wanted to do a couple’s costume, but Jeff had seen the gloves – kept safe, even after three decades – and known that, with everything happening, he wanted to wear them.

That didn’t make it any easier.

He pulled the phone number out again, and stared down at it before pulling out his phone.

Later, when he was on his third glass of scotch and an old TV show was playing on his TV, there was a knock at his door.

A moment later, before he’d even had time to get to his feet, the lock clicked and the door swung open and Abed was striding in.

“Hi Jeff.”

Jeff blinked, then grinned at his boyfriend. “Abed! I thought you had plans with Troy tonight?”

“He rearranged,” Abed said. “Britta wants to watch _Inspector Spacetime_.”

“She does?” Jeff knew his surprise was clear on his face.

“Yeah,” Abed said, then clambered over the sofa to sit next to Jeff. “I would have cancelled anyway. I heard your conversation with Britta earlier.”

It took Jeff a moment to realize the conversation Abed meant, but when he did he simply said, “Oh.”

“I wanted to, first of all, say sorry for eavesdropping,” Abed said. “Secondly, I wanted to ask if you need to talk to somebody about it?”

Jeff tried to rearrange his expression into something casual. “I guess? I mean…I wanted to tell you, but I wasn’t sure how. I’ve been kind of…working that out for the last few weeks.”

“How did you get his number?” Abed asked.

“Just searched it up on the internet.”

“How do you know it’s the right one?”

Jeff raised an eyebrow and took a swig of scotch. “Well, he knew who I was when I called him earlier so…”

Abed went very, very still and his eyes grew very, very wide.

“Shit, I didn’t mean to say that,” Jeff muttered to himself.

“You called your dad?”

Jeff nodded. “Yeah. When I got home.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Abed asked after a moment’s pause.

“Sure,” Jeff shrugged. “He’s well, we’re meeting for Thanksgiving. Oh, and his son’s going to be there. You know, his other one.”

“His other one?”

“My half-brother.”

Abed sucked in a sharp breath. “That was an in-depth phone call.”

“I just…I don’t think I want a relationship with him?” Jeff said, a frown forming on his face. “I want to talk to him, and get closure or whatever it is Britta goes on about, then move on with my life.” He pauses, then focuses on Abed’s face. “Can you come with me? Please? I don’t want to be alone. I want…I need you to be there.”

“Of course,” Abed said. “Now, do you want to continue watching _Friends_ or should I help you to bed?”

Jeff considered the options for a moment, then let himself flop sideways so his head was resting in Abed’s lap. “Stay here.”

Fingers started to comb through his hair, and Jeff let his eyes flutter shut.

* * *

Conventions of Space and Time

“I told Troy and Britta that I know about their secret sex this morning,” Abed said absently as he and Jeff walked across the campus car park together.

Jeff laughed. “How were they honestly still surprised? What part about you makes them think you’re oblivious to that kind of thing?”

“I don’t talk about it much,” Abed said.

“I did think they’d realize you knew after the fourth night you stayed over at mine. Does Britta think that a man who _clearly_ has regular sex is that inexperienced? Even without them knowing about what you used to get up to in the dorms, they can’t still think you’re a virgin.”

Abed shrugged. “Troy doesn’t like thinking about me having sex.”

“I have got to say that I like being able to sleep on an actual bed, instead of the sofa, when I come over,” Jeff said. “Even though I know you’re not delighted by how quickly they’re moving in their relationship.”

“Britta doesn’t understand the balance between me and her,” Abed said. “Like with _our_ relationship, I’m your boyfriend but I’m also still Troy’s best friend. Britta is trying to make Troy less of my best friend.”

Jeff sighed. “I don’t think she is, Abed. You’ve got to remember that this is Troy’s first proper relationship; he’s not going to be sure where the boundaries are, or how to manage his time, or what sort of thing he now wants to do with his girlfriend instead. If their relationship lasts longer than a few months – and the jury’s still out on _that_ one – he’ll get used to it.”

“Hmm,” Abed said.

“Also, our relationship is more comfortable than most, and has been from the start,” Jeff continued. “We didn’t have the same honeymoon phase. They’re still going through that part of it.”

Abed considered his words for a moment, then nodded.

Jeff pushed open the door to the library.

“What are we doing here again?” Abed asked, glancing around. “We need to leave in twenty-seven minutes to arrive on time.”

“I just need to get my sunglasses and then we can go,” Jeff said, striding down the hallway to the study room.

“But we’re going to be late,” Abed said, stepping through the door when Jeff held it open for him. “And you don’t need sunglasses to go to an _Inspector Spacetime_ convention.”

Jeff sighed. “Abed. I love you, but this isn’t exactly going to be the most fun I’ve had in my life. If anyone calls me ‘Thoraxis,’ I reserve the right to…I don’t know. Do something to them.”

Abed laughed, but it was a nervous sound and he glanced at his digital watch again.

When he reached to flick the lights on, Jeff suddenly caught sight of Pierce sitting at his place at the table.

“Woah! What are you doing here?”

“I always come early to save my seat,” Pierce said as if it were obvious. “And what’s this about a road trip?”

Months before, someone scammer in Nigeria had emailed Abed to ask for money, claiming to be a massive _Inspector Spacetime_ fan, but Jeff had pointed out the likelihood that it was real and Abed had decided against emailing them back.

When Britta said that she thought Inspector Minerva was cool, and Abed’s only reaction was say, “Everyone’s entitled to their own opinions,” Troy wasn’t the only one who thought that was weird.

Jeff wasn’t a fan of _Inspector Spacetime_ , by any stretch of any imagination, but he’d watched enough with Abed to know that Inspector Minerva's storylines were pretty shit and – as he’d learnt from much ranting by Abed – completely ignored most previous _Inspector Spacetime_ lore.

So, for Abed not to tell Britta that she was wrong was very weird.

“Wait,” Jeff called after Abed, hurrying to catch up to him. “Abed, what was that about?”

Abed made a confused face. “What do you mean?”

“With Britta. You _never_ let people say that Minerva’s good without telling them they’re wrong.”

“I’m being more tolerant,” Abed said. “You like that, right?”

Jeff sighed. “Being more tolerant doesn’t mean compromising who you are for your best friend’s girlfriend. We all know, and like, the person you are.”

Troy and Britta caught up with them then, and relief made itself clear on the former’s face. “I was worried you’d run off, Abed!”

“No,” Abed said simply.

“Oh,” Troy said, looking slightly taken aback, “well, I’m glad you didn’t. You know, run off.”

Abed just nodded.

Internally groaning at the brand-new awkwardness between the two best friends, Jeff pulled out two tickets from his pocket. He’d managed to get them months in advance, back when the listings were first going up.

“I, uh, got you guys some tickets to one of the panels,” he said, holding the tickets out to Abed. “I have… _no idea_ if they’re any good, but they seemed mostly sold out so I guessed the panel’s going to be good?”

Abed’s face lit up when he read the title on the tickets. “‘Which Inspector would win in a fight in space, and which Inspector would win in a fight in time?’ Jeff, these are awesome. I tried booking tickets, but they were all already sold out.”

“Good,” Jeff said. “I’m glad.”

“Do you want to go to it with me?”

When Abed asked the question, it took Jeff a moment to register exactly what he’d asked. It didn’t take Troy that long; the hurt immediately flashed in his eyes.

“Oh…”

“Abed, I bought those tickets for you and Troy,” Jeff said firmly. “Both you and Troy would like to go.”

“We would?” Abed said, tilting his head to one side. “But Troy doesn’t want to leave Britta alone. She’s his girlfriend.”

“I’ll stay with Britta,” Jeff offered. “If… _Troy_ has a problem with that.” He directed a pointed look at Britta, who took a moment to register what he was trying to say. When she did, she nodded enthusiastically.

“Uh-huh! Jeff can show me around, I’m sure he’s picked lots of stuff up from you.”

Abed frowned, his brow furrowing, but Jeff leaned in to whisper, “This is the balance, remember? Britta’s showing that she knows your and Troy’s friendship is really important.”

It took another moment, but Abed then said, “Okay.” He turned to Troy. “We should start going over there now if we want to arrive on time.”

Troy grinned at Abed, looking much happier than he had a few minutes before, and the two of them walked off together, leaving Britta and Jeff standing there.

“What did you say to him?” Britta asked, curious.

“Abed’s worried that he’s seeing Troy less,” Jeff said. It was only half-answering the question, but he knew Britta wouldn’t notice.

“Oh,” Britta said. “I _thought_ that’s what the problem was.”

“If you _hadn’t_ realized that, my opinion of you would have worsened dramatically,” Jeff replied. “Abed’s not hiding it nearly as well as he thinks he is.”

“Eh,” Britta shrugged. “You have to pick up on some of the smaller things. He’s not the most emotive person in the world. How did Troy adjust when he found out you and Abed were in a relationship?”

“There wasn’t much of an adjustment,” Jeff answered honestly. “When Abed and I had our relationship talk, the main thing he outlined was that Troy was just as important to him as I was going to be. Most of the things Abed and Troy did together still happened. Our dates didn’t take precedence over activities they’d planned, but those activities also didn’t take precedence over our dates.”

Britta contemplated the words for a moment, then nodded. “How long was it before you told Troy about your relationship?”

“A month?” Jeff tried to remember when Troy had found out. “We started dating on October twenty-second, and Troy’s birthday’s on December fourth, so yeah. Just over a month. You don’t have an equivalent situation. Abed has known you two were sleeping together since the first night.”

Pulling a face, Britta asked, “Really?”

“Really,” Jeff confirmed. “Did you really think you would fool the man who’s watched every ‘secret relationship’ trope-d film and TV show you can think of?”

Britta made a disappointed noise.

“Exactly,” he continued, not giving her a chance to speak. “You’re in the honeymoon phase of your relationship with Troy, and you seem to be making the most of it. Which is understandable. But you need to make sure that, even if _you_ don’t have it, Troy and Abed at least need to have a proper conversation.”

“Can’t you do that?”

“No,” Jeff said. “I am…impartial. I am Switzerland. If you all don’t get your shit together soon, I will be using my Hadron collider to open a portal to an alternate dimension where I’m still a lawyer and escaping there.”

Britta laughed. “No, you won’t.”

“Conversation,” Jeff repeated. “Have one.”

“God, you are so whipped for him, aren’t you? Not that that’s a bad thing,” Britta added when Jeff frowned and went to disagree. “It’s…cute. I don’t often see this side of you.”

“Think what you want,” Jeff said, rolling his eyes. “It’s a free country.”

They stood by the wall quietly for a while, Jeff pulling his phone out to give his hands something to do while they waited for Troy and Abed’s panel to finish. Unfortunately, it only took about ten minutes for people to start pointing at Jeff and whispering to their friends. It didn’t take much longer than that for Britta to notice.

“What’s going on with them?” she asked, sounding more worried than anything else.

Jeff knew the concern was fake; he knew Britta. “I don’t know,” he lied.

“I’m sure it’s nothing--” and here Britta’s voice let through just the slightest bit of humor “—but I’ll just go and check. To make sure, you know?”

“Yep,” Jeff said, the words coming out too forced to be natural. “I do.”

Britta walked away, disappearing among the crowds of people.

Two minutes later, she returned with something clutched behind her back.

“Jeff, you’ll never guess what I found,” she said with a delighted smile stretched across her entire face.

Jeff sighed, stuffing his phone back in his pockets and crossing his arms before he asked, “What?”

Britta pulled out a rolled-up poster from behind her back, and opened it to reveal a large, green Thoraxis. “I found this on one of the stalls! They were just giving them away. Don’t you think Abed will _love_ it?”

“I hate you.”

Britta burst out laughing.

* * *

Alternative History of the German Invasion

“Shirley!” Jeff called out, jogging down the hall to catch up with her.

She turned, a puzzled expression on her face that cleared up when she spotted him through the throng of people. “Ah, Jeffrey.”

“Do you know where Abed is? We were supposed to meet by my car, but he didn’t show.”

“I last saw him in the study room,” Shirley said. “He and Troy were doing an apology for that nice Karl boy. I feel so bad about what we did to them…”

Jeff nodded. “Thanks, Shirley. I’ll go and ask if we’re still on for tonight.” He turned on his heel and started in the opposite direction to where he was originally going.

“Oh, I’ll come with you,” Shirley said, hurrying to catch up. “I left my purse in there earlier, I think.”

Jeff just inclined his chin at her, and they walked together in silence until they reached the study room.

Sure enough, just as Shirley had said, Abed’s dark hair was poking up over the couch, next to a blond head, and then Troy on the other side. Jeff walked up behind him.

“Abed, are you still okay for tonight or should we reschedule?”

Abed startled slightly, then turned around and slid his headphones off his ears to sit around his neck. A small smile appeared on his face. “Hey, Jeff. Oh! Is it four already?” He scrambled for his digital watch, where he’d left it lying on the table. “Sorry, I lost track of time.”

“It’s fine,” Jeff reassured him. “Have you made different plans for tonight? I’m also free tomorrow if you want to then instead.”

His head tilted to one side in consideration, Abed said, “Thanks. Meet by your car at four tomorrow?”

“That sounds good,” Jeff replied, smiling softly down at him for a second. Then he turned to the other two men sitting on the sofa. “Troy,” he said, nodding in greeting, “German guy I don’t know the name of. Sorry about…everything.”

The German guy blinked, glancing over at Abed for a second before nodding back a little cautiously. “I am Karl.”

“Nice to meet you.” Jeff hurried over the words, then turned to Shirley, who was hovering by the table. “Can I walk with you to your car?”

Shirley looked surprised by this turn of events. “Of course, Jeffrey.”

Once they had walked out of the room together, and were down the front steps of the library, Shirley stopped in her tracks. Jeff halted, letting his confusion show on his face. “What is it?”

“Do you want me to talk to Abed?” she asked, looking concerned. “He shouldn’t cancel on you like that, it’s not fair.”

“I don’t mind,” Jeff shrugged. “I like to spend time with Abed but we rarely make ironclad plans. All we were going to do was watch a film together and get takeout or something. Now we’re doing it tomorrow instead.”

“Oh,” Shirley said, looking slightly taken aback for a split second before giving him a smile. “That’s nice. I like seeing such a comfortable young relationship.”

“It’s not that young,” Jeff said. “We had our two-year anniversary a month ago.”

“Well, compared to mine…I can hardly remember a time before Andre.” The look on Shirley’s face wasn’t delighted, per se, but more thoughtful than anything else.

“How is Andre?” Jeff asked. “And the kids?”

“They’re good,” Shirley said, her voice sweet as a fond smile grew on her face. “Elijah did well on his math test last week, and Jordan is turning sixteen next week. Ben is learning to walk by himself.”

“Jordan’s nearly sixteen?” Jeff’s eyebrows climbed his forehead. “That makes me feel old.” The words weren’t entirely fond, something cold and scared pooling in his stomach.

Shirley nodded. “Jordan’s so grown up now. They’re all growing up so fast. Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight. It’s been so long since Andre and the boys last saw you, and you’re free anyway.”

“Well…” Jeff considered it. On one hand, the last time he’d seen Andre, the other man had been awkward around him in a way that he hadn’t been before Jeff had come out. On the other hand, it would be nice to see Shirley’s family, and spend some time with her. “I’m not dressed for it,” he decided on as an excuse, vaguely gesturing down at his t-shirt and jeans. 

Shirley patted him on the shoulder. “You’ll be fine. So you can come over tonight?”

Jeff couldn’t refuse.

* * *

Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations

“What are you all doing for Thanksgiving?” Shirley asked the table, looking around. “I’ll be having Andre’s family over.”

“I’ll be with my family, fielding the same old questions,” Annie answered with a groan. “‘How’s community college? What’s your major? Are _those_ real?’” She pointed at Britta’s chest, and Britta pulled back with a gasp, so Annie explained, “My aunt’s boyfriend.”

“Aw, my family’s a _normal_ religion so I have to talk to them for _five minutes_ before I get a casserole that’s all marshmallow.” Troy gave her a pointed look. “That’s you.”

Annie rolled her eyes.

“Uh, uh, brainstorm,” Shirley cut in, “why don’t you all come over to my house? I’ll have plenty of food--”

Annie and Troy and Britta all made noises of agreement at the word ‘food’.

“Sounds good to me!” Annie exclaimed.

“This sounds promising,” Abed said, “but I can’t.”

Shirley’s face fell slightly. “Oh?”

“I thought you were just going to microwave buttered noodles,” Troy said, frowning. “Isn’t that what you normally do for Thanksgiving?”

Abed shook his head. “I have plans.”

“With Jeff?” Annie asked, twisting her head to look at the man in question.

Jeff kept his head down and his gaze focused on his phone and didn’t respond.

There was slightly awkward silence for a moment.

“Well, you’re _all_ welcome of course,” Shirley said.

“I’m in,” Pierce said.

Her lip curling slightly, Shirley gestured towards Jeff and said, “Or, you know, Jeff or whoever.”

“Can’t,” he snapped. “Plans.”

“Well, if you change your mind, I can’t think of anyone who’d enjoy having you more,” Shirley said. “I’m sure my boys would love to see you again.”

Britta gave him a confused look. “Again?”

“Jeff came over for a dinner a week or so ago.”

There was a loud, “Howdy, pilgrims!” from behind them, and then the Dean strode in in a creepily identical costume to the one Jeff had worn for Halloween in first year.

“Is that--” Jeff started to ask, but was cut off by the Dean.

“John Wayne? Yes, oh good, you got it. Any-who, I just thought I’d mosey on over here to invite you all to Greendale’s own Thanks- _living_ potluck dinner, where we remember all we have to be thankful for.”

Shirley’s smile was wide until the Dean added, “There may be a statistical link to enrolment at Greendale and holiday suicide.”

The joyful mood in the room plummeted.

“Just a shoelace and belt-free night of fun! You should all drop by. Or Jeff. Or whoever.”

The Dean laid a hand on Jeff’s shoulder that Troy coughed pointedly at. A moment later, the Dean pulled it away.

“Oh, he can’t,” Shirley said, pointing at Jeff. “He has plans.”

“Oh, right,” the Dean said. “You were spending Thanksgiving with your father.”

It was like having a bucket of ice dumped over his head, drenching him with freezing water.

The study group gasped.

Anger surging through him now – real, proper anger – Jeff set his phone down on the table. “I thought I told you to _stop reading my email_.”

“Yeah, well,” the Dean fumbled, “I thought I told you to stop keeping secrets. How am I supposed to keep track of the difference between what you tell me in confidence, and what I hear through your walls with a glass to my ear?”

He slowly backed out as he spoke, something wary on his face as Jeff fixed him with a venomous glare.

 _Private_ things happened in Jeff’s apartment. Not just sex – although that was a whole violation of its own – but…private conversations. Also, a whole lot of TV watching.

Britta’s face was filled with such utter delight that Jeff’s anger quickly morphed into fear. The rest of the study group had more normal expressions for the situation – shock and surprise, mostly.

“Fine, close your mouths,” Jeff said. “Yes, I’m having Thanksgiving with my estranged father. Can we move on now?”

“Makes sense,” Pierce cut in before anyone else could say anything. “Jeff needs a strong father figure to come out to.”

Ignoring him, Annie said, “Jeff! This is huge news.”

“Huger news,” Britta said, “was this decision made after our Halloween conversation?”

“Yes,” Jeff conceded. “After, _not_ because of.”

“I’ll take it!”

Britta leapt to her feet and pulled out a CD player, then pressed a button that made loud music blare out. Jeff didn’t bother to comment on the fact that she’d had that at the ready.

“When I say ‘thera’, you say ‘pist,’” Britta sang, waving her arms. “Thera--”

“Pist!” Troy and Abed shouted in unison.

“Thera--”

“Pist!”

Jeff stretched his arm out to reach over the table and turn the music off. Troy made a disappointed noise. “Thanks for the support, guys.”

“Ooh,” Britta said as she moved to sit back down. “The _support_ has just begun. What do you want me to bring to Papa Winger’s house, some vegan pumpkin pie?”

“Britta,” Jeff replied evenly, “you’re not coming.”

“Fine, then, I’ll bring regular pumpkin pie.”

Jeff didn’t shift from his amused expression, just raising a judgmental eyebrow.

“Jeff, you’re going to _need_ me when things get messy and emotional.”

“The only thing that’s going to get messy and emotional is Troy when he realizes there are yams underneath those marshmallows,” Jeff said.

Troy jerked back. “I _knew_ it was too good to be true!”

Unfortunately, before the conversation could derail itself, Britta returned her focus to him.

“Jeff, speaking not only as your friend but as an avid daytime TV watcher, these parent-child reunions can get _intense_.” Britta looked far too happy by that fact. “Chairs might be thrown. _Weaves_ might be pulled.”

Jeff sighed. “ _Or_ I could just go in there, show him how awesome I am – no thanks to him – meet my half-brother--” everyone gasped, but Jeff kept going “—and, boom. Closure.”

There was quiet for a moment, as everyone stared at Jeff. Everyone except Abed, who was squishing the rubber pom-pom Jeff had found for him.

When Britta did speak, her words were more cautious than before. “Your dad has another son?”

“Yeah, so clearly, he’s moved on, why can’t I? Close your mouths.” Jeff realized as he was saying it that raising his voice wasn’t going to help. And Abed and him had already had a conversation – after Halloween – about how Jeff should be the one to talk to the group about his dad, Abed wasn't going to get involved. “Look,” he continued, lowering his voice and leaning in closer to Britta to have a proper conversation. “I appreciate your concern. But, really, the most helpful thing you can do is stay out of my business.”

The group didn’t anything for a moment, shock overtaking them all, until Annie looked to Abed. “Did you know about this?”

Abed didn’t bother to glance up. “Yep.”

“And you didn’t think to mention it?”

“Jeff asked me not to.” Abed spoke quickly and dismissively.

Annie nodded, her expression disappointed. “Oh.”

Suddenly, the Dean burst through the door, still in his ridiculous copy of Jeff’s costume, and clutching a drinking glass. “Wait, sorry, can you repeat that last part? I didn’t quite catch it, these walls are really thick.”

William Winger’s house was nice. The car outside – with a stupid number plate – was a vintage, and the wood covering the walls was the high-quality kind.

Abed – dressed in a checked, collared shirt and one of the cardigans that Jeff loved – silently took the view in and didn’t say anything. When Jeff strode up to the door, though, Abed brushed his hand on Jeff’s elbow. He gave a nod as Jeff looked to him.

And then, when Jeff raised to knock on the door and his heart felt like it was in his throat and he blurted out, “No!” Abed simply nodded again.

“Okay. Do you want to go to Shirley’s? Or home? Or sit in the car for a while?”

Jeff just needed to get out of there. He couldn’t do this. He said as much.

Abed tilted his head to one side. “Do you want to run back to the car like we’re being chased by the police?”

“S-sure,” Jeff managed to choke out.

Surprisingly, pretending with Abed helped. Abed was, ironically enough, always good at getting him out of his head.

Once they were in the car, and Jeff was driving somewhere – he wasn’t quite sure where, yet – his phone rang. Abed glanced at him before answering it and putting it on loudspeaker.

“ _Hey Jeff, what’s up?_ ” Britta said cheerfully.

“What’s up is closure,” Jeff answered, keeping his voice casual.

“ _Really?_ ”

Jeff sighed, looking down at his hands. “Fine. Look, I couldn’t do it. I kept thinking about all that shit you said about messiness and, in the end, you’re the reason I didn’t end up meeting my father.”

“ _Or,_ ” Britta said, “ _maybe I’m the reason you’ll come here after all_.”

Jeff stilled, and when he looked over at Abed, his boyfriend’s eyes were wide and shocked.

‘Here?’ he mouthed.

“What do you mean by here.” The words were sharp through Jeff's gritted teeth.

“ _Your dad’s house_.” Britta at least had the decency to sound a little ashamed of herself. “ _Where I kinda, sorta, am._ ”

Britta’s greeting when Jeff slammed the door of his car was cautious. “Happy Thanksgiving?”

“You really you’d this one, huh?”

“Hey, Britta,” Abed said easily in greeting, and she did a double-take when she saw him.

“Abed? What are you doing here? I thought you had plans?”

“I do,” Abed said. “I have plans with my boyfriend. He’s meeting his dad for the first time in thirty years.” He pointed at Jeff.

Britta’s cheeks flushed a little. “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t think it through.”

“Yeah, I kind of got that,” Jeff cut in, storming past Britta and back up to the front door.

“Wait, wait,” Britta called, hurrying after him. “Yes, I meddled against your wishes, and yes, I got your address from the Dean. But here you are, having a moment of doubt, and here I am to help you through it.”

“I could have done that,” Abed interjected.

“Abed could have done that!”

“Psychology tells us there are no accidents.”

Jeff scoffed. “Oh really? What about car accidents, Tara Reid, or the Hindenburg?”

“Nice one,” Abed breathed, and Jeff couldn’t help the slightest curling up of his lips.

He turned around and raised his fist to knock on the door. “Here goes nothing.”

When he knocked on the door, it only took a second for his father to answer, and Jeff did his best to keep his voice even as he said, “Hello William.”

The greetings went fine as William let the three of them into the house, and Britta was her usual self, and then his father went to get drinks.

A high-pitched voice called out, “Hiiiii,” and Jeff turned to see a young man who looked about twenty.

“Hi,” Jeff returned, moving over to hold his hand out. “You must be my half-brother.”

Willy Jr. gave a nervous laugh. “Oh. Your hands are so much bigger than mine. Your nail beds are perfect. I can’t do it. Oh god! I can’t.” He groaned. “Oh, God. Oh, it’s coming up.” At their confused faces, he added, “When I get upset, I vomit.”

“I see you’ve met Willy Junior,” William said, returning with the glasses of scotch and handing one to Jeff.

“You said he wasn’t going to replace me,” Willy said, glaring at his dad. “He’s the Schwarzenegger. I’m the DeVito! I get it!”

Abed, who hadn’t yet said anything, whispered, “ _Nice._ ”

“I’m sorry,” William said, turning to face Abed. “I don’t know who you are.”

Abed stuck out his hand, the movement a little jerky. “I’m Abed. Abed Nadir.”

That was another part of the conversation Jeff and him had had: telling William about his sexuality. Jeff was trying as hard as he could to move past the part of his life where he hid who he was, and he didn’t want to keep what he had with Abed a secret anymore, but he also wanted things to come out on his terms.

In the moment, he decided then was the best time to blurt out, “Abed’s my boyfriend.”

William looked taken aback, and so did Willy Jr., but for different reasons.

“You-you’re gay?” There was hint of disgust to the word when it came out of William’s mouth.

“No,” Jeff said firmly. “I’m not.”

“He’s bisexual,” Abed clarified. He was still his calm self, speaking nonchalantly and leaning against the sofa to intently study his dragon ring as he twisted it around his finger. “Jeff likes boys and girls and non-binary people.”

William blinked, confusion crossing his face. “And _what_ people?”

“You do?” Willy Jr. looked happy with this revelation, his eyes darting back and forth between Jeff and Abed like he was watching a ping-pong game. “You are?”

Abed nodded easily, taking Jeff’s silence as a signal to speak on his behalf. “He’s my boyfriend. I’m his boyfriend.”

“Do you want another drink?” William asked abruptly, and Jeff raised an eyebrow at the unsubtle change of topic. Britta opened her mouth, her hands balling into fists at her side, but Jeff caught her arm and shook his head.

Jeff didn’t need William Winger to be a good person; he didn’t need him to accept his son’s relationship with another man. Jeff just needed to spend one evening with him to get closure, and then leave. Shutting up a homophobe could wait.

“Do you have juice?” Abed asked.

William’s lip curled slightly, but he went to get some anyway.

Abed stood with Britta and Willy Jr, watching Jeff and his father talk about genetics, and didn’t flinch when Jeff asked about erectile dysfunction – even though William grimaced and shot Abed a look he couldn’t decipher (not that that was saying much).

He watched them continue the conversation, noticing the tightening of the muscles in Jeff’s arms whenever William skittered around the subject of Jeff’s sexuality, and didn’t say much while Britta and Willy Jr. attempted therapy.

Abed wasn’t there to make friends with William Winger, and he didn’t want to anyway. Jeff had said that he shouldn’t play any characters, that he should just be himself, so he was going to stay quiet. William didn’t need to know what Jeff’s boyfriend thought of him. He needed to know what _Jeff_ thought of him.

And then William Winger said he thought he’d done right by Jeff when he left him as a child, and anger unlike most anything Abed had felt surged through him for a single, odd second. Beside him, Britta gasped.

“Did he just say that?” she whispered to Abed. “Did I hear that right?”

“Yes,” Abed said. “You did.”

Jeff spat nasty words at his dad, words that were very much deserved, and stormed out.

Later, when Britta is sat in the backseat of Jeff’s car and Abed had called shotgun, she leant forward and asked, very quietly, if Abed knew about Jeff’s 'appendicitis'.

“I don’t see why it matters,” Abed said plainly. And it was true: he didn’t see why it was important whether he knew that or not.

But he looked over at Jeff, who had a complicated expression on his face, and moved his hand to rest on his. Jeff smiled back at him.

* * *

Advanced Documentary Filmmaking

“What the heck, Abed!” the Dean exclaimed when the documentary finished and the credits started rolling. “You knew what Jeffrey was planning this whole time and you didn’t say anything? Why can’t you ever make a documentary about the thing you were planning to make the documentary about?”

“Don’t censor him!” Britta gasped. “Oh! Censorship. _This_ is the documentary!”

The Dean rolled his eyes, but Britta didn’t notice and pointed to Abed.

“Abed, you’ve got to teach me how to use that camera.”

Abed shot a finger gun at her. “Pew.”

“Did you seriously think Abed would reveal Jeff’s secrets?” Troy asked, turning to the Dean. “He’s the best secret-keeper ever. I tell him everything about Britta, and he only tells me surface details about Jeff.”

Shirley nodded. “Mm-hmm. Abed should have told us before, so we could stop Jeffrey from ruining the presentation.”

“I…don’t think that’s the point Troy was trying to make,” Annie said, pulling a face.

“It doesn’t matter,” Jeff said, getting to his feet.

Later, once Jeff had apologized and Chang had accepted it and they had all said goodbye for the evening, Abed and Jeff walked to Jeff’s car together.

“You should have told me not to do that earlier,” Jeff sighed.

“I don’t like telling you what to do,” Abed said simply.

Jeff nodded, quirking his eyebrows as he huffed a laugh that he directed at himself. “I know. And you were being Camera Abed, so I knew at the time that any mistake I made was my own. At least you stopped me before I did something truly stupid to prove Chang’s guilt. Thank you…thank you, for that.”

“Cool,” Abed said, then indicated a finger at Jeff’s car. “Your place?”

Jeff stepped closer, into Abed’s space, and moved to wrap his arms around his neck. Abed met his gaze evenly. “My place sounds good.”

“Cool, cool, cool.”

Abed leaned in to kiss Jeff.

* * *

Economics of Marine Biology

The moment Abed breathed, “College Dean threatening to shut down a fraternity,” Jeff knew that there was going to be trouble.

“You’ll never shut down the Delta Cubes,” Abed proclaimed as he got to his feet, then walked out chanting in a low voice, “Delta Cubes, Delta Cubes, Delta Cubes.”

“The Delta Cubes will never die,” Abed said, his eyes bright and his face expressive enough that Jeff knew he was playing a character. “We’ve only just begun to fight.”

Jeff rolled his eyes. “Abed, you only just began yesterday.”

Abed – who was wearing a white t-shirt with a Delta Cubes graphic printed on it and jeans that were somehow even skinnier than usual – just chuckled to himself and then strolled away. For a moment, Jeff considered going after him and joining in whatever shenanigans he was sure to get up to, but then Archie pulled up and those plans went out the window.

And _then_ Pierce showed up and someone had to distract him from the whale and Annie and the Dean begged Jeff to do it.

Even as he agreed, he knew he was going to be spending the day hearing all kinds of shit.

“It turns out that Pierce gets more homophobic when surrounded by other homophobic people,” Jeff groaned as he slumped down next to Britta in the booth. She’d invited him over to the bar next to her apartment, for a night of drinking.

She pulled a disgusted face, her mouth curling and her nose scrunching up. “Gross.”

“I volunteered,” Jeff said, dismissing it. “Did you want to see me for anything in particular?”

Britta shook her head, gesture floppy and uncontrolled. “Wanted to hang out.” She threw herself forward, arms flying out to latch around Jeff’s neck. “I never see you anymore!”

Jeff hadn’t considered it in particular, but now he was, he realized that Britta was right. “I guess so.”

“Spend more time together. We should!”

“We should,” Jeff agreed, silently ordering a glass of scotch from the bartender.

Britta smiled up at him, wide and toothy and unrestrained. “Good. You’re my friend.”

“You’re my friend too,” Jeff had to admit.

* * *

Herstory of Dance

Abed looked good, Jeff thought as he held a hand out for him to take. His button-up shirt and cardigan suited him.

“Would you like to dance?”

“Sure,” Abed said, taking the offered hand and letting Jeff lead him to the dance floor. “Will you spin me like in a movie?”

Jeff chuckled under his breath. “I would love to.”

“Cool,” Abed said. “Cool, cool, cool.”

“I have to go and tease Britta soon, though,” Jeff said.

Abed nodded. “Two songs first?”

“Perfect,” Jeff breathed, then pulled Abed in closer as they danced completely out of time to the music.

* * *

Intro to Felt Surrogacy

> “I drink too much sometimes and never tell Abed,” Jeff admitted. The words were a heavy and long-kept secret.

Out of the corner of his eye, Abed stiffened almost imperceptibly, his face falling into a neutral expression – too neutral.

The rest of the study group didn’t focus too much on Jeff’s secret, instead moving quickly into their conversation about forgiving and moving past it.

Then, everyone got up and started to head home, but Abed remained sitting so Jeff did too.

Once they were alone, Jeff quietly said, “I’m sorry.”

“You told me you were keeping a careful watch on how much you drink.”

“I am!” Jeff protested, but at the look on Abed’s face he hastened to add, “I never said how much that was.”

“Jeff--”

“I am sorry,” Jeff said, cutting Abed off. “Truly. It used to happen more. I just…I know you don’t like it when I have anything more than about a sip of beer, and I…”

Abed sighed. “I’d be happier if you told me about it, and I disagreed for that short time, than now finding out that you’ve been drinking in secret for years.”

“I don’t like seeing you upset.”

“I’m upset now,” Abed quickly countered, and Jeff’s face fell.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated for a third time, even more quietly this time.

Abed pulled a pen out of his pocket and start to fiddle with the lid, flicking it on and then pushing it back down. “If you have a problem with alcohol, Jeff, then you should talk to someone about it.” The words weren’t an accusation – more advice, given in good faith. “Someone who knows more about those things than me.”

“I tried that once,” Jeff said. “It didn’t go great.”

Memories of the single AA meeting he’d been forced into by his old law firm flashed before his eyes, and he didn’t bother to suppress his shudder. He trusted Abed to not use it against him.

“Okay,” Abed said. “If you don’t want to, I won’t make you. But I would like you to not hide your drinking from me in the future.”

Jeff nodded, a little meek. “Yeah.” Suddenly, a thought crossed his mind and he frowned. “I can’t believe you didn’t share a secret.”

“I don’t want to share my secret,” Abed said, stiffening.

“Well, the rest of us didn’t want to share ours but we did anyway…” Jeff swept his hand in an arc, gesturing to the (now empty) table.

Abed shook his head. “Your secrets were about external forces. Mine is a very specific one about you, and you wouldn’t want me to share it with the others. And I don’t want to share it with you.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry,” Abed said. “But everyone shared a secret about something they’ve done in the past, that is no longer affecting the other members of the group. Mine…does.”

“Mine did – does – too.”

“You chose to share it,” Abed told him. “I’m going to keep my secret a secret for a bit longer. It affects you, and this exercise is supposed to show me to stop doing it, so I will, but that’s all I want to tell you.”

Jeff sighed, but pushed his chair back anyway to get to his feet so he was ready to go. “I’m not happy, but I’ll respect that.”

“Cool,” Abed said, getting to his feet and slinging his bag over his shoulder. “Cool, cool, cool.”

* * *

Intro to Knots

“I like what you’ve done with the place,” Britta said, looking around Jeff’s apartment.

Jeff had to agree that it was very different to when he’d first started dating Abed; blankets and cushions were spread on the couch and armchairs, and the surfaces held framed pictures of the study group. His two pride flags still sat on the kitchen counter, and he’d even convinced himself to frame a few of the better news articles about their adventures and hang them on the walls.

“It’s what Abed’s done with the place,” Troy corrected, then grinned at the man in question. Abed nodded back at him.

“Are you sure you haven’t moved in yet?” Britta asked him, setting her bags full of gifts down on the floor next to the sofa as she sat down. “It feels…much more Abed-y.”

“It does,” Jeff agreed. “But three-oh-three feels more Jeff-y than it used to too.”

“I even have proper chopsticks now.” Abed nodded very seriously.

At Britta’s confused expression, Annie explained, “He used to use knitting needles.”

“Oh,” Shirley sighed, turning to look at Abed with concern. “You really shouldn’t use those to eat, you know, wool can have all kinds of nasty bacteria in it.”

“I know that now,” Abed said simply. “That’s why I have chopsticks.”

“Anyway,” Jeff said, “does anyone want anything to drink?”

“Are you sure we can’t do _Die Hard_?” Abed asked, for the fourth time. “There’s a restaurant called Nakatomi Sushi, I hear the Hans Grouper is to die for.”

Annie ignored him and gestured for everyone to sit down. “Well, anyway, now that we’re all here, I have some good news and bad news.”

Everyone moved to their seats, and Jeff sat down in his usual place on the sofa – right next to Abed. While he normally wasn’t fond of public displays of affection, it wasn’t really public when they were in his apartment.

“I have to start with the bad news first,” Annie said. “It’s about our history paper…I heard through back channels we got a _failing grade_.”

“What!” Britta shouted, bolting upright.

“Quendra told me,” Annie added. “She does assistant work for Professor Cornwallis.”

Jeff couldn’t believe it. Sure, he’d only spent about half an hour on his section – more than he’d originally planned – but he knew the others; he’d assumed they’d all try their hardest.

“I bet she does,” Shirley muttered in her judgmental voice.

Leaning forward, Jeff said, “We failed? I need that paper to graduate. Who screwed up?”

“Jeff,” Annie said, “there’s no need to point fingers! Because I haven’t told you the good news: I invited the professor to our party tonight.”

“Annie!”

Once Cornwallis had left, and the party was over, Jeff flopped down on his bed and stared up at the ceiling.

“You probably should’ve put the handcuffs away before the party started,” Abed commented from the doorway, and Jeff craned his neck to see his boyfriend.

“Yep,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Or just not brought the study group into our bedroom.”

Jeff nodded stiffly. “Yep. Got that.”

When Jeff had pulled their friends into the bedroom to have a talk about their grade, he’d forgotten that there was still a set of handcuffs attached to the headboard. And…a few other items on the bedside tables.

“You get embarrassed by things like this,” Abed said.

“Well, I try not to show it.”

“But you’re fine making jokes about our sex life.” Abed sounded confused, rather than annoyed; Jeff had long since learned that he felt very little shame about their sex life.

“Making jokes about it on my terms, and trying to scandalize our friends, is different.”

There was quiet for a moment, and then Abed said, “I found it pretty funny.”

“Troy and Annie barely knew what they would be for,” Jeff recalled, huffing a laugh.

“Neither of them knew what Pierce’s sex dungeon was for, either,” Abed said, taking a seat next to Jeff on the bed. “At Halloween, when we wandering around his mansion, remembered I watched the footage.”

“Pierce has a video camera in his sex dungeon?” Jeff’s expression was one of disgust. “Honestly, that’s less surprising than it should be.”

Abed made a noise of agreement.

“Do you want dinner?” Jeff asked, pushing himself up to a sitting position. “There wasn’t really anything but the tapas earlier.”

“Sure,” Abed said. “Buttered noodles?”

Jeff let out an exasperated sigh, but took Abed’s offered hand anyway to pull him to his feet. “Those have no nutrients in them.”

He made them both some anyway.

* * *

Basic Human Anatomy

Leaning against the wall of the corridor, Jeff narrowed his eyes at Troy.

“May I ask why you felt the need to do this?”

“Sorry, babe,” Troy said, his fake-Abed voice still in use. “It was an accident.”

“Abed doesn’t call me ‘babe’.”

Troy didn’t falter. “Well, I _like_ pet-names. Maybe we should try them sometime.”

Jeff let out a deep sigh. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on. I know that this wasn’t something Abed – you? – started, so do you know why Troy’s doing this?”

Troy blinked once, twice.

“Fine,” Jeff groaned. “Where should we look for the _Freaky Friday_ DVD?”

Something in in Troy eased, and he suggested, “The janitors.”

Later, when Troy and Abed had switched back and Troy was having a proper break-up talk with Britta, Abed moved to stand next to Jeff.

“Thanks for helping.”

The words were said simply, but there was a slight quaver to them that Jeff recognized. He gave Abed a side-look.

“I didn’t at first. How do you know I changed my mind? You haven’t seen me since this morning.”

“No,” Abed agreed. “But I know you. And I’m sorry I missed today.”

Jeff sighed, then turned to give Abed a lop-sided smile. “Planning a nice date on Troy and Britta’s anniversary was optimistic anyway.”

“True. I can call the restaurant to reschedule for tomorrow?”

“That works for me,” Jeff said, then glanced back at Troy and Britta. “For the time being, I think we should leave them to it. Break-ups are never easy.”

“No, they aren’t,” Abed said. “I’m not planning for us to break-up.”

Jeff chuckled, then leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to Abed’s cheek. “I’m not either.”

“Cool,” Abed said.

* * *

Heroic Origins

“I’m not helping you with the Crazy Quilt of Fate,” Jeff told Abed when his boyfriend held out the sheet of paper that morning.

Annie, blinking sleep dust out of her eyes as she headed for the fridge, did a double-take when she saw him. “Jeff? When did you get here?”

“I came over yesterday evening,” he answered with a shrug. Taking a sip from the glass of water that would have once been scotch, he slouched into one of the breakfast bar chairs.

He didn’t mention that Abed had called him at midnight, panicking when the notification of Jeff’s graduation beeped on his phone; didn’t mention that he’d driven at breakneck speeds on roads that really should’ve been better lit; didn’t mention that he’d squeezed into Abed’s single bunk to comfort him.

Since then, Abed had managed to find a way to deal with Jeff’s impending departure from Greendale: The Crazy Quilt of Destiny.

“Oh! _You’re_ the one who slammed the door closed last night,” she said, realization crossing her face. “That makes sense, I was wondering what that was.”

“Yeah, that was Jeff,” Abed said, pointing a finger at Jeff as he poured Lucky Charms into a bowl. He didn’t offer an explanation.

There was quiet for a few minutes, during which Annie glanced between the two of them with an increasingly irritated expression on her face.

“May I ask _why_ Jeff came over?” she burst out at last.

“No,” Jeff answered when Abed didn’t say anything and just continued eating his Lucky Charms. “You may not.”

Annie deflated, her shoulder drooping as her face fell. “Oh.”

“Jeff used to come over out of the blue a lot more,” Troy’s voice said suddenly, and all three of them turned to see him padding out of his room. He was wearing his blue-and-orange pajamas and Jeff felt a sudden wave of nostalgia; Troy hadn’t worn those in ages, not since Britta started sleeping over. “It dropped just after you moved in, and then further at the start of the year.”

“Is that true?” Annie asked, turning to Jeff with her Disney face on one-hundred percent power. Her lips trembled, and her eyelashes fluttered, but the guilt it could usually invoke in Jeff failed to show.

He just shrugged, and she turned to his boyfriend. “Abed?”

“I can neither confirm nor deny any of what Troy just said,” was Abed’s only response.

Annie gasped.

* * *

Advanced Introduction to Finality

“I’m going to miss you,” Britta said, her hands on Jeff’s shoulders as she held him at an arm’s length. There were unshed tears pooling at the corners of her eyes, but a smile on her face.

Jeff shook his head, chuckling. “I’ll still be around. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Britta opened her mouth to say something else, but before she could, the Dean practically threw himself into Jeff’s side. “I’m going to miss you so much, Jeffrey,” he sobbed. “Promise me you’ll write!”

“ _He_ will most certainly be getting rid of me that easily,” Jeff said, grimacing as he tried to untangle the Dean’s arms.

“You know,” Abed said, “touching someone without their permission isn’t funny the first time. It’s an outdated sitcom trope.” The words were heavy with judgment, and there was an angry frown on Abed’s face that Jeff so rarely saw.

“Yeah,” Annie said, and moved forward to pull the Dean off of him. “Don’t ruin today, Dean.”

“I’m sorry,” the Dean said, tears still streaming down his face. “I’m just going to miss you _so much_.”

Jeff turned away from him to smile at his study group. “I’ll keep in touch. And come over more than you’d expect.”

“You better,” Shirley murmured, pulling him down for a tight hug.

“Yeah,” Jeff chuckled, even as he could feel himself welling up.

Troy was next, and there was an uncertain look on his face as he moved to stand in front of Jeff. “We’re still on for TV night, right?”

“Of course,” Jeff said, his voice unintentionally soft. There was moment’s pause, and then Troy wrapped his arms around him and squeezed him in a hug that left him choking for air.

Abed was last, and he stepped up to study Jeff’s face for a moment before kissing him, slow and deep. His lips were soft, as always, and warmth bloomed inside Jeff’s chest as he reached up with hands to cup Abed’s neck and pulled him even closer.

In that moment, he didn’t care that the study group was watching, that Pierce was surely making some homophobic comment under his breath, that Troy was embarrassed, and that Annie was excited. Because Abed was there, and they’d stick by each other no matter what.


	7. Season 5

Repilot

‘ _Life isn’t always like the movies._

_You aren’t successful just because you want to be. And being a good person just leaves you worse off._

_Relationships are complicated, and even you and your boyfriend of nearly three years can go through a rough patch_.’

Jeff leaned back to glare down at the words he’d written down on the first page of a brand-new notebook. The letters were sharp and angular, the black pen stark on the crisp white page. He’d been pressing too hard, and it had smudged a little where his hand had brushed over the still-wet ink.

After a second’s consideration, he added, ‘ _And a rough patch does not mean a break-up_.’ He underlined the word ‘ _not_ ’ several times, as if that made it truer.

‘ _Even you’re an asshole who’s living off his boyfriend’s money. Even if he has perfectly good reasons to hate you_.’

Jeff had moved into apartment 303 at the start of the summer, when his law firm had done a nose dive, and Troy had gone back to the pillow fort to give Abed and Jeff his old bedroom.

They’d been fighting, properly arguing for the first time in their relationship, while Abed spent his days coding a video game he didn’t really care about and Jeff tried to find clients.

The previous night, Abed had asked him to leave. Jeff had taken his blanket and spent the night in Troy’s lower bunk.

And then, staring down at the furiously written letters, he swore under his breath.

“Uh, hey, Jeff?” a cautious voice asked, and Jeff twisted in his seat to see Troy, peering out from the kitchen. “You okay, buddy?”

Jeff didn’t grace that with a response, instead shoving his chair back with a screech and storming out of the apartment. The door slammed shut behind him.

Alan caught him a moment of vulnerability. When the anger had worn off, and all that remained was a terrible, terrible empty feeling.

Maybe that was why he opened the bottle of scotch he’d refused to let himself touch for months, the one that was over sixty percent alcohol; maybe that was why he started to listen to what Alan was saying.

But then Troy appeared in the door of his office, and breathing heavily and clutching the notepad Jeff had forgotten on the table earlier.

“Jeff!” he shouted, half-bent over as he clutched his knees and tried to catch his breath. “Abed doesn’t hate you!”

Jeff snorted then took another, long swig from his bottle of scotch. “Not the time, Troy.”

“Leave, kid,” Alan said, anger flashing on his face for a moment. He didn’t break eye contact with Jeff.

“No,” Troy said, moving across the room to slam something else down in front of Jeff: a mobile phone. “Also, get out, weird lawyer guy. Don’t talk to Jeff about sex things.”

Alan sneered at him. “I have no reason to listen to you. Jeff wants me here.”

But Jeff wasn’t paying attention, just staring down at the text messages displayed on the screen.

‘ _Hey, Abed,_ ’ Troy had sent. ‘ _This is important._ ’

‘ _hey troy,_ ’ Abed had replied. ‘ _what is it? i’m not feeling great rn, don’t know if I want to hear something important_ ’

‘ _It’s about Jeff._ ’

Abed didn’t say anything for a while, and then Troy elaborated: ‘ _He thinks you hate him._ ’

‘ _he what_ ’

‘ _Thinks you hate him._ ’

‘ _no_ ’

Jeff stared at the texts for a moment, then said, voice full of fury, “Get out.”

Troy blinked. “What?”

“Get out. Both of you.”

“Jeff!” Alan exclaimed, something akin to worry now clear on his face. “This kid’s clearly just trying to throw you off your game, I’m offering you a chance-”

“ _Out_.”

Alan fled the second Jeff’s voice grew dangerous, but Troy didn’t move an inch. He planted his feet on the ground and crossed his arms over his chest and met Jeff’s gaze evenly.

“I said, get out.”

Jeff briefly considered chucking the bottle of scotch at Troy.

“I’m worried about you,” Troy said. “Annie’s worried about you. Abed’s worried about you.”

Jeff threw his head back and laughed.

“Seriously, man,” Troy said, shifting slightly as he spoke over Jeff. “Why do you think he’s been pushing you recently? He’s _terrified_ that you’re going to do something stupid – something you can’t take back.”

“Abed,” Jeff said, the words full of anger he didn’t even bother to conceal, “hates me.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Troy disagreed, his face softening as if Jeff was being self-deprecating. “Abed loves you, man.”

Jeff threw the bottle then. There wasn’t much left in it, and it hit the wall behind Troy and shattered, spraying glass and alcohol everywhere. Troy flinched. “I’m not _making shit up_. Abed told me, in _no_ uncertain terms, that he hates me.”

Troy blinked. “No.”

“What, you don’t listen through our walls?” Jeff snorted to himself. “Should’ve done last night.”

Troy was so utterly out of his depth, and his face showed it.

“I,” he finally said after a good few minutes of consideration, “am going to talk to Abed to try and better understand what was clearly a complicated conversation, and then try to…to sort this out.”

He started out of the office, and Jeff couldn’t resist the urge to shout after him, “Good luck finding him!”

Troy found Abed in tiny KFC on the other side of town, staring down at a piece of fried chicken. There were empty drinks cups and boxes strewn across the table, from other customers by the looks of things. Troy pushed some aside, and took the seat opposite his best friend.

“You want to talk about Jeff.”

The words were dull, a resigned statement of fact.

“Yeah,” Troy said honestly. “I do.”

He gave Abed time to speak if he wanted to.

“I told him I hate him,” Abed said after a minute. “I didn’t mean to say that. I hate his drinking. I hate it when he gets like this. I could never hate _him.”_

“You need to tell him that,” Troy told him, keeping his voice gentle. “Jeff has been getting worse and worse over the last two months. That’s a fact. But so have you.”

Abed’s lips pursed together, and he dropped the piece of chicken he’d been slowly stripping of its breadcrumbs. “I am scared.”

“Yeah,” Troy said, his face falling further. “So am I, buddy. So am I.”

“Jeff is…” Abed started, but then broke off, his eyes welling with tears. They glistened in the dull light of the KFC. He looked up at the ceiling, and the boring white tiles. “This is where Jeff found me the night we started dating.”

Troy blinked, thrown off by the sudden change of topic. “What? He found you in a KFC?”

“I didn’t do well after my religious movie,” Abed continued. Somehow, he sounded even worse than before. “I walked off, and kept walking. It was raining. Jeff found me curled up outside, and took me back to his place and helped. He helped so, so much.

“When you left for AC repair,” Abed continued, “it was bad. Things were bad. Jeff…if Jeff hadn’t been there, I think…I think things would have taken a bad turn. A turn that would have raised us a content rating.”

Troy felt his breath catch in his throat, hearing of the time when Abed needed him but he wasn’t there. “I-I didn’t know any of that.”

“Jeff is…he’s important. Not just to me, but to our show. We need him as our main character. He can’t continue like this. _I_ can’t continue like this.” The last words were barely more than a whisper, and Troy reached across the table to lay a hand over Abed’s.

“I’ll make things better. I promise.”

Abed half-choked on a breath. “You can’t promise that. Because life isn’t TV. There isn’t a magic, hand-waving solution.”

“I’ll find one. I _will_.” Troy raised his hand, holding his pinkie finger out. “Pinkie promise?”

Abed didn’t raise his hand, didn’t do anything but keep staring down at his box of uneaten chicken.

“I’m taking your offer,” Jeff snapped into the phone, his grip making it creak in his hands.

There was a delighted sound from the other end. “ _Perfect!_ ”

Jeff’s plan to gain access to the Humphries files was almost immediately derailed by the appearance of the Dean, but he kept a straight face and agreed to what the Dean was saying.

Right up until he found himself in the study room and he heard a familiar, familiar voice say,

“I see your value now.”

Abed’s voice broke slightly in the middle, and when he turned to look at his boyfriend, there were tears welling in the corners of eyes. His dragon ring was off, slowly rotating between his fingers.

“That’s what you said to me. Back before we were dating. On the first day we met.”

“I don’t want to see you,” Jeff tried to snap, but instead of harsh the words just came out weak; pathetic. “You…you said you didn’t want to see me.”

Abed shook his head. “I lied. I said the wrong thing. I didn’t mean it. What I said.”

“You said it.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t mean it. Neither of us meant what we said.” Abed stilled, as if a new thought was occurring to him. “Did we?”

Jeff sighed, letting his head fall back onto the filing cabinet. There was a hollow clang. “No,” he breathed. “We didn’t.”

“Cool,” Abed said, but it was weak, and when Jeff looked at him again, the pain scrawled across his face made Jeff’s heart hurt even more.

“I’ve been…bad. I shouldn’t be hurting you.”

“I haven’t been easy to spend time with either,” Abed admitted quietly. “I…should be doing something more than working on my video game. I shouldn’t be picking you up on everything you do wrong. I need you to know that I don’t hate you. That you aren’t living off my money. And I’m not planning to break-up with you.”

Jeff was quiet for a moment, then he said, “Troy showed you what I wrote.”

“Yeah, he did. You should know that I don’t think what you wrote about me is true.”

“That’s…that’s…I don’t know what to say.”

Abed closed his hand around the ring. “I want to work this out. We’ve been avoiding each other and everyone knows miscommunication is a terrible trope.”

Jeff couldn’t help his weak laugh. “Everyone knows that.”

“They do,” Abed agreed, a whisper of a smile crossing his face for a moment. It was more than Jeff had seen for a week.

“I want to work this out too,” Jeff said, a little abruptly. “I still…I still love you.” Abed stiffened. “I haven’t said it for too long. I’ve been obnoxious.”

“Okay,” Abed said. “Can we…can we go on a date?”

“Yeah,” Jeff said. “It’s been too long.”

Seven weeks and six days, actually. Not that he was counting.

Abed started to move closer, but stopped a step in as if he was worried Jeff would get angry with him. “Can I hug you?”

“I,” Jeff answered, trying to hold back the crack in his voice and failing terribly, “would like that.”

He met Abed halfway, wrapping his arms tightly around his boyfriend and pressing his face into his shoulder to hide the tears starting to slip down his face. Abed’s hair was soft when Jeff’s hand brushed it.

After a long, long while, Abed pulled back – only a few inches – to study Jeff’s face. “I preferred the beard,” he said flatly. “You look like an asshole.”

Jeff huffed a laugh, pressing his face back into the soft cardigan of Abed’s chest as his shoulders shook with laughter. “I do.”

“Who’s looking like what now?” another voice asked from behind Jeff, and he twisted around to see the rest of the study group hovering by the back door. “Jeffrey!” Shirley exclaimed, her face breaking into a smile. “It’s so good to see you!”

Annie’s face was so full of emotion that Jeff couldn’t decipher anything. “You and Abed…you were hugging? What’s happened?”

“We’ve been talking,” Jeff said simply, glancing at Abed for a moment. Their hands were still clutched together.

Annie gasped. “You _have_?”

“What’s so shocking about that?” Britta asked, a frown on her face. “Jeff and Abed talk all the time.”

Jeff winced. “We’re not…”

“They’ve…been…struggling…” Annie said, looking worried as she clearly tried to not say the wrong thing.

“We’ve had a rough patch,” Abed clarified. “I said bad things. Jeff said bad things. Now we’ve said good things.” He paused, then added, “I owe Troy a pinkie promise.”

Jeff’s heart sunk. “I…owe him so, so many apologies.”

“It’s cool, man,” Troy said, and appeared in the door behind them. “As long you’re not going to throw another bottle at me?”

Half-throwing _himself_ across the room, Jeff squeezed Troy in a hug. Troy returned it eagerly, relaxing into his chest. “No,” Jeff murmured. “Never again. That was…really, really shitty of me.”

“You were very drunk,” Troy murmured back. “I checked the alcohol content of that scotch. But apology accepted. You have no idea how good it is to see you and Abed getting along again.”

The tears from earlier threatened to spill again, and Jeff just nodded.

“So you’ve made up, then?”

Jeff sighed, pulling back to look Troy in the eyes. “Relationships are more complicated than that. But we’re going to do our best to do better, and properly talk to each other.”

Troy considered it for a moment, then nodded. “I’ll take it.”

After introductions and conversations and argument, Jeff announced that he was going to talk to the Dean about what the school could do to sort out the Humphries case. As he strode out of the room, he heard the study group start another conversation, about how it felt weird for the table to be there without them.

And then Jeff found out that the Dean had shredded the documents, and shouted at him until the Dean suggested he return, to help save Greendale.

And then he was offered a job.

“Look, if you feel there’s more work to be done on yourselves, then, as crappy as this place is, it’s a place you do it,” Jeff said gesturing around them to the campus.

“You got a job teaching here, didn’t you,” Abed said.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Jeff muttered, looking away.

Abed grinned – a real, proper grin, the amused kind that Jeff hadn’t seen for too long – and his melted just a little bit.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

* * *

Introduction to Teaching

[After Jeff had introduced himself, students threw their arms in the air, and the first one Jeff picked asked, “Is it true you’re gay?”

There was a hopeful expression on their face, but Jeff was finally in position where he didn’t have to answer questions about his personal life – and he was going to take all the advantages he had. Besides, he didn’t owe anyone anything,

“I’m bisexual,” Jeff answered, his voice sharp. “That means I like more than one gender. Further questions regarding my sexuality will not be answered. Any more questions?”]

“Hey, Abed?” Jeff called out, cautious. “Is everything okay?”

Abed’s head popped out from their bedroom door. His hair was ruffled, and his clothes rumpled, and his eyes were wild. “Jeff, I need your help.”

“Is it anything to do with the piles of DVDs stacked everywhere?” Jeff asked, glancing around the apartment. Instead of being in their normal, neat places, DVDs were scattered on every surface, some of the piles toppling over.

“Yes. I need to detoxify. Watch films that make me think of things other than Nicolas Cage.”

Jeff nodded. “Okay. How about _Kickpuncher_? That’s normally your go-to comfort film.”

“Good idea,” Abed said, pointing his finger at Jeff and nodding as if it had just occurred to him, but when he went to select it from the DVD shelf, he remembered that he’d moved everything and sagged as he turned to look across the messy apartment. “I don’t know where I put it.”

“I’ll help you find it,” Jeff said gently. “When did you last watch it?”

“Three weeks and four days ago,” Abed recited. “I was worried about your drinking, and you had stormed out after our argument, so…” He trailed off.

Jeff felt his heart sink. “Oh.”

“I think I put it on the pile of films I didn’t want to watch again for a while, after that,” Abed said, too quiet.

Jeff didn’t know what to say.

“Can-can you think of any other films we could watch?”

“How about we try _Kickpuncher_ again?” Jeff suggested. “Try to…clear some of the worse memories from it.”

Abed hesitated for a moment before nodding. “Okay. Good idea.”

* * *

Basic Intergluteal Numismatics

When Jeff woke that morning, Abed wasn’t in their bed, so he got to his feet and pulled on a dressing gown before venturing into the living room, where he found Abed curled up in his TV-watching chair, rocking back and forth.

A bright red blanket was wrapped around him, and _Raiders of the Lost Ark_ was playing as quiet background noise.

“Hey, Abed,” he murmured, pulling up one of the dining chairs to settle down next to his boyfriend. He didn’t sit in the other arm chair – that was reserved for Troy. “Bad day?”

Abed made a faint noise of agreement.

“Okay,” Jeff said, staying quiet. “I’ll make us some breakfast. Do pancakes sound good?”

“Cool,” came the faint whisper from Abed, and Jeff nodded before getting to his feet again and heading to the kitchen to start on the pancake batter.

The smell soon drew Annie and Troy from sleep, and both of their eyes widened when they saw Jeff cooking pancakes in the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” Annie hissed under her breath, her gaze flickering between Abed and Jeff. “You don’t know how to cook.”

“I do,” Jeff said simply. “I used to do this for Abed on his bad days.”

Troy’s face fell. “You mean…I…you haven’t done this for the entire time you’ve lived here.”

“No,” Jeff replied, his voice softening even further than he had been keeping it so as not to disturb Abed. “I haven’t.”

Her mouth turning up, Annie nodded more energetically. “Okay. I’ll get out the lemon and sugar for Abed, Troy, you should make sure Abed’s got some water while Jeff makes pancakes.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Troy said, giving her a crisp salute before moving to get a glass out from the cupboards.

Luckily, Jeff and Abed missed very little at school that day – the next day, though, when they went in, the Ass Crack Bandit returned.

* * *

Cooperative Polygraphy

Leant against the door of the study room, Jeff watched Abed sitting silently in his seat.

After the reading of Pierce’s will earlier, and the subsequent drinks with Mr Stone, Troy had turned to talk to Abed only for the man to have already gone. Panic had immediately ensued, but Jeff had calmed Troy down and quietly explained that he probably didn’t want to see him for a while. It taken a few minutes, but Troy had understood.

Then Jeff had gone to the place he knew Abed would be: the study room.

He’d been standing in the doorway for more than ten minutes, just watching his boyfriend stare at wall ahead of him, hands twisting together.

Eventually, Abed said, “I know you’re there, Jeff.”

“I figured,” Jeff said, pushing off the doorframe to slowly move over to the table. For a moment, he considered taking his usual seat, but in the end, he sat down in Britta’s. Next to Abed. “Do you want me to say something?”

Abed shook his head. “No.”

“Okay,” Jeff said, then held out his hand for Abed to take. He did so after a moment, Abed’s fingers rubbing the skin in circles.

A few minutes passed like that, in silence, and then Abed said, “I don’t want Troy to leave.”

Jeff didn’t say anything, just letting Abed talk. He didn’t know what he _would_ say.

“ _I don’t want Troy to leave_.”

* * *

Geothermal Escapism

Abed hadn’t been dealing with Troy leaving. It wasn’t that he was dealing badly, or even well, it was just that he was refusing to talk or think about it.

Jeff had tried to bring it up multiple over the week between the funeral and the day of Troy’s departure. Abed hadn’t responded once, but he was talking less and less. Even when Jeff brought up _Die Hard_ , there was little time spent talking about it before Abed just returned to looking down at his hands.

And then, on the morning of the day, Abed was gone when Jeff woke up in the morning. He wasn’t anywhere in the apartment.

There was simply a note left on the table, telling Jeff and Troy and Annie not to worry. That he’d see them at school later. That he was fine.

Jeff didn’t believe him.

But he’d promised that he would listen to Abed, and let his and Troy’s friendship be its own thing, so he just gritted his teeth and continued preparing for the day as normal.

The fact that Troy didn’t ask about Abed’s absence that morning said a lot – too much – about how he was feeling about leaving.

Annie just glanced at Jeff when she came out of her bedroom, and bit her lip when he silently shook his head.

“Something is very wrong with Abed,” Jeff hissed to Britta, and she looked positively gleeful at the revelation.

He aimed a jab directly at her ribs, but she moved her own stick to block it.

“I knew!” she shouted. “Ha, you’re all just indulging him when we should be acknowledging that something is wrong.”

Jeff swung his stick wide, and Britta’s met his in the middle, and the suction cups stuck together.

“Can you get your head out of psychology for one second, and acknowledge that _this_ is not the way to help Abed?”

“No,” Britta half-crowed as Jeff pulled back and fell to the floor. “What do you know about helping him, you’ve been sitting back and letting him suffer for the last week?”

Jeff sucked a sharp breath in, and Britta’s eyes grew wide as she seemed to realize what she’d said.

“Wait, I didn’t mean that.”

“No, you did,” Jeff snapped. “You’re just sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. If you aren’t going to help Abed, what’s the point in yelling at him that he’s being a child?”

Annie slowly moved over to them, untangling rope from her hair. “Guys, you need to stop fighting. Jeff’s dead, remember?”

“Yes, he is,” Britta agreed, and reached down to take his plunger from him. “I’ll talk to Abed for you, Jeff. I mean, dead-Jeff.”

Jeff frowned at her. “To understand Abed, you have to understand that what you all consider a game, he takes very seriously.”

Britta nodded. “Uh-huh.”

With those words, she hopped onto Hickey’s tank and then he drove off after Troy and Abed’s bubble.

Annie turned to Jeff, worry that hadn’t been there that morning clear on her face. “Is Abed really struggling?”

“Yeah,” Jeff answered quietly. “He won’t talk to me.”

“He won’t?” There was a note of astonishment to Annie’s voice. “Abed talks to you about everything. Well, excluding…your rough patch.”

Jeff couldn’t do anything except nod.

“Oh,” Annie said, her mood dropping like a rock thrown into a pool of water. “ _Oh_.”

It was only when Troy was stood in front of him that Jeff realized he was going to miss him so, so much. So when Troy hesitated, Jeff pulled him in for a tight embrace.

“Thank you,” he murmured. “For everything.”

“Look after Abed,” Troy whispered, his voice catching slightly on the words. “Look after _yourself_.”

When Jeff said, “I will do my best,” he meant the words with every fiber of his being.

* * *

Analysis of Cork-Based Networking

“So, let me get this straight,” Jeff said slowly, more than a little confused. “You met and befriended a deaf girl while wearing headphones, learnt sign language for her, and then Britta paid her to tell you spoilers for Bloodlines of Conquest.”

Abed nodded. “Yep.”

“…How?”

“How what?”

“How did you learn sign language so quickly?”

Shrugging, Abed said, “I’m good with languages. I already spoke four. Now it’s five.”

Jeff ran over the languages Abed knew in his head and came up short. “What’s the fifth?”

“The one I made up when Annie drugged us,” Abed answered nonchalantly.

“Okay,” Jeff said. “Feeling a little inadequate over here with only English and the tiniest scraps of Arabic.”

Abed gave him a look. “You’re getting better at it.”

“Still not anywhere near even beginner level.” Jeff winced. “Anyway. That’s not what this conversation is supposed to be about. I just wanted to say that it was a bit shitty of Britta to pay your new friend to turn on you.”

Abed made a noise of agreement.

“Also…” Jeff hesitated, but continued a moment later regardless. “I’m glad that you’re. Making new friends. I know you’ve been having a hard time since Troy-Troy left.”

This time, Abed didn’t respond. His face cleared itself of emotion.

“And I heard about him and LeVar Burton getting captured by pirates, so I wanted to check in again.”

“I don’t want to talk about Troy.”

Jeff nodded quickly. “I understand. But I…I’m worried about you, Abed.”

“I know,” Abed said. The words were simple, but they were more than Jeff had been able to get out of Abed for three weeks on the subject of Troy’s leaving.

Jeff quietly added, “And I love you. I promised Troy I’d look after you. If he were here, he’d be just as worried.”

“He’s not here.”

Abed turned his attention back to the TV, grabbing the remote to increase the volume.

* * *

Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality

‘ _Where are you?_ ’ Jeff typed out as quickly as he could, and pressed send on the message.

It was the third he’d sent to Abed in the last five minutes, without a response. The two of them had made plans to see the new _Kickpuncher_ movie together, but Abed hadn’t showed up yet, which was very unlike him.

This time, though, he didn’t just keep on searching the crowd with his eyes. He strode off, to the car park, and drove to Greendale as quickly as he could.

It wasn’t a long drive, but the sun was already setting and street lights were turning on as he pulled up to Greendale.

Jeff checked his phone again. Still no reply.

Hurrying now, getting faster with each step, Jeff was half-running by the time he reached the study room. It was empty.

Jeff sprinted down the hallway, skidding to a halt in front of every classroom as he tried to find Abed. There was a half-naked couple in one, who shrieked when they saw their Law Professor, but he just ignored them and moved on.

Eventually, just when Jeff was about to do something drastic, he slammed open the door to his and Hickey’s office to see his boyfriend sitting on one of the empty tables.

“Oh, thank god,” Jeff breathed, moving closer to get a better look at Abed.

Hickey, who Jeff only then noticed sitting at his desk, laughed. It wasn’t a nice sound. “I was just teaching him a lesson.”

When Jeff reached Abed, gripping at the silver costume, he noticed the actual metal glinting on his other wrist.

“Are you okay?” he asked, looking up to meet Abed’s gaze. “What’s happened?”

Abed took a moment to respond. “I ruined Hickey’s duck drawings, so he’s trying to teach me a lesson.”

“He’s _what_.”

“I’m inconsiderate and spoiled,” Abed continued, looking down at his free hand. “I need to learn my lesson.”

Whirling on his heel, Jeff spat, “Give me the key,” at Hickey.

The man looked confused. “No, if I let him go now then the lesson is not learned.”

“I said to _let Abed go_.” Jeff shouted the last part, crossing the distance between him and the other professor with just two steps and grabbing Hickey’s collar.

Hickey made a fist, thrusting it upward and aiming for Jeff’s chin. He landed the hit, but wasn’t able to dodge the solid punch that Jeff thrust into his jaw, that sent him crashing back into his desk.

“Where’s the key?” Jeff demanded.

“Uh--” Hickey gasped. His hand went for his shirt pocket, and Jeff got there first; sure enough, his hand grasped around a key.

He immediately dropped Hickey, turning to jam the key into the handcuffs and twist it until there was an audible click and Abed pulled his wrist free.

“Are you okay?” Jeff asked urgently, cupping Abed’s face in the palm of his hand and looking desperately for any injuries.

Abed’s eyes were wide and confused, his brow pinched. “I’m fine,” he said slowly.

“Oh, thank god,” Jeff said again, letting his head fall forward so his forehead was resting against Abed’s. “When you didn’t show up to the movie, and weren’t answering my texts…”

“I’m fine,” Abed repeated.

“Of course he’s fine,” Hickey’s voice said from behind Jeff, but he didn’t turn around. “You all treat him like he’s made of fine china. Abed Nadir gets away with anything and everything he wants. He’s a spoiled brat.”

Jeff did turn to face him again this time, his lips pulling back to show his gritted teeth. “You know _nothing_ about Abed. You think five minutes of observation over the course of five whole years gives you anything close to the full picture?

“Did you stop to consider that maybe the queer Muslim guy who grew up in the two-thousands wasn’t let off without any consequences? That maybe the man whose best friend just left for at _least_ a year doesn’t have it so easy? And maybe – just maybe – you don’t have a damned _clue_ what you’re talking about?”

Hickey opened his mouth to say something, and Jeff noticed the blood dripping from his nose. He couldn’t bring himself to care.

“This,” he continued, gesturing to the pair of handcuffs he was holding out, “is a _major_ abuse of a teacher-student dynamic. If you have ever – _ever_ – cared about your students in fifteen-goddamn years of teaching, you have to be able to see that.”

With those words said (shouted), Jeff turned back to Abed, who was wide-eyed with shock. “Sorry, Abed,” he said, voice immediately dropping to something gentler. “I shouldn’t have—do you want to go home?”

“I’d like that.”

Jeff nodded, and gestured for Abed to take the lead as they walked out of the office and towards the car park together.

It was only once they were in the car that any more words were exchanged.

“Why did you defend me like that?”

Jeff, gripping tightly on the steering wheel, glanced over at Abed. “Because Hickey was wrong. Because you hate being physically confined. Because he made you miss the movie. Because I love you.”

Abed considered the words for a moment, and then nodded. “Did you mean what you said?”

“What part?” Jeff asked, now confused himself, and twisted in his seat to fully face his boyfriend when they stopped at a red light.

“That I’m not spoiled.” Abed said the words as simply as he said most things, but they jarred in Jeff’s ears.

“Of course—of course you’re not spoiled, Abed.”

Abed tilted his head to one side. “The light’s green.”

Jeff blinked, then leant forward to peer up at the light. It was, indeed, green. Someone in a car behind honked their horn.

He put his foot down, and they started forward again.

“Do you think you’re spoiled?” Jeff asked after a few minutes of driving in silence.

“Well, you’ve been putting up with me for the last four weeks,” Abed said, as if it was obvious. “You’re worried about me and all I’ve been doing is shutting you out because I don’t want to talk about Troy. That’s pretty spoiled of me.”

Jeff sucked a breath in when Abed mentioned Troy. It was the first time that he’d been the one to start that conversation since Troy had left. “I don’t—that’s not you being spoiled, Abed. That’s you hurting. Shit—sorry, Britta would probably explain this much better. But. Pain, and denial are natural parts of grief.

“Troy may not have died, but he’s left and we don’t know when he’s coming back. If you…if you don’t want to talk about it, I’ll worry, yes. Because you and Troy had a friendship I don’t know if I’ll ever truly understand. But that will _never_ mean I stop caring about you, or will stop punching bullies in the face.”

Abed listened, the furrow in his brow clearing, and then nodded when Jeff signaled he was finished with a raised eyebrow.

“Cool.”

“Also, just so you know, I meant everything I said to Hickey. He was so, so out of line I can’t even begin to describe it. Would you think it was okay if I locked you up for, I don’t know, ruining some of my nice scotch?”

“No,” Abed replied. “I wouldn’t. But that’s a different situation--”

“It’s not too different that it can’t be related,” Jeff said. “But that’s not important right now. The important thing is that you’re safe, and we can watch a film when we get back home. I’m sorry you missed the new _Kickpuncher_.”

Abed shrugged. “It’s not your fault.”

“It may not be directly, but if I’d gotten there faster--”

Now it was Abed’s turn to interrupt Jeff. “You couldn’t have known.”

Jeff let out a deep sigh, his knuckles returning to their normal color as he made an effort to unclench his hands from the steering wheel. “If you say so.”

“I do say so,” Abed said, hesitated, then said, “Can you help me write an email to Troy? I’ve been putting it off because I didn’t know what to say. I don’t think he’s escaped from the pirates yet, so he’ll have something waiting for him when he does.”

“Of course,” Jeff said, his expression softening. “I’m sure he’ll love to hear from you.”

Abed’s mouth twitched up into a smile. “I’d like to hear from him too.”

* * *

App Development and Condiments

Jeff sighed as he sat down on the coach, letting some of the tension drain out of him as he relaxed after his long day at school. At least the Meow Meow Beenz tyranny was over, and everyone had gone home.

Abed took a seat beside him, picking up the remote from the side table to turn on the TV and start playing _Inspector Spacetime_. Jeff let his head flop down onto his boyfriend’s lap as the theme song blared out.

“Really?” Annie asked, crossing her arms as she moved to stand in front of the TV. “You guys couldn’t have waited until we’d cleaned the dishes?”

Jeff’s brain was already half asleep, so it took him a moment to register Annie’s words before he pushed himself up off the coach. “Sorry, Annie.”

“I’ll wash them once this episode is done,” Abed said. He didn’t look away from the TV.

“Ugh, fine,” Annie said, rolling her eyes and turning to Jeff. “I clean, you dry? Then Abed can put them away once he’s finished.”

Jeff shrugged. “Sure, works for me.”

They worked together quietly, _Inspector Spacetime_ playing in the background as they made their way through the pile of plates and cups and bowls that had accumulated during the app testing. With everything happening, the three of them had spent very little time in the apartment, so washing had piled up.

Once Annie had finished washing up, and had emptied the washing up bowl so the soapy water was draining down the sink, she turned to smile up at Jeff. He smiled back. Only, then her smile faltered.

“Oh! Uh, Jeff, you’ve, got a little…” Annie raised her hand, vaguely gesturing to her forehead.

Jeff frowned, confused.

“Um, you know, grey hair…right there…”

He froze, his heart beating loudly in his ears as he registered the words.

“I’ll, um, go…tell Abed the dishes are ready for him to put away when he wants. Yep! I’ll go and do that.” Annie hurried out of the kitchen, glancing back over her shoulder worriedly for a moment, before going the rest of the way to the TV area. Jeff only vaguely heard her murmured conversation with Abed, just standing stock still in the kitchen, a dish cloth still clutched in his hand.

Jeff had been getting the odd gray hair for year, but he’d always noticed and dyed them before anyone could see. The last time that had happened had been last week. For another one to have come in so quickly, for someone to have _seen_ …

“What’s wrong?” Abed’s voice asked suddenly, and Jeff spun around to see Abed standing in the entrance to the kitchen with his head tilted to one side.

It took Jeff a moment to process the words, and then he stammered out, “Nothing.”

“That’s a lie,” Abed said after a moment, but moved to the pile of washed and dried dishes anyway to start putting them away.

Jeff sighed, leaning back against the kitchen counter and letting his shoulders sag. “I’m—old.”

“You’re not fifty yet,” Abed countered without hesitating. “Fifty is old. Thirty-nine isn’t.”

Widening his eyes, Jeff hissed out, “ _Annie_ ,” and jerked his chin in the direction of where Annie was doing her school work.

“Oh, yeah,” Abed said. “Sorry. But you’re not that old,” he continued, lowering his voice.

“In one and a half months,” Jeff said, trying to keep his voice as even as possible, “we’re going to have your entire thirties between us. I'll be forty, and you’ll still just be twenty-eight.”

Abed shrugged. “Most of the problems people have with large age differences in relationships stem from the idea that there’s a power imbalance. We don’t have that.”

“Yeah,” Jeff agreed half-heartedly, then checked his watch. “Well, I’m exhausted so I’ll probably turn in soon.”

“I’ll join you,” Abed said. “Meow meow beenz was exhausting. I had to make _small talk_.”

Jeff forced a smile onto his face and chuckled. “I know, Abed.”

* * *

VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing

For the third day in a row, Jeff got up in the morning to find Annie’s brother, Anthony, sitting in silence on the couch.

“Morning,” Jeff greeted with a smile and nod.

“Morning.” Anthony’s reply was as lifeless as all of his other replies.

“Do you…want something to eat?”

“No.”

Jeff inclined his head again, went into the kitchen to put toast in the toaster, and retreated back to his and Abed’s bedroom as soon as it was done.

Abed was still in bed, but he’d moved to a sitting position now and was intently reading something on his laptop.

“Good morning,” Jeff said, far more cheerful than he had been with Annie’s brother. He settled back down on his side of the bed, stretching out on top of the duvet. “What’s that?”

“Troy emailed me back,” Abed answered without looking away from the screen. “They managed to escape from the pirates, and retook the _Childish Tycoon_ , so now they’re going down towards the Caribbean Sea.”

Jeff couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. “That’s a relief. I was worried about Troy – and LeVar Burton too, of course.”

“Troy got a cool new scar,” Abed continued, and turned the computer slightly so Jeff could see the picture on the screen. It was of Troy, a pained-yet-delighted smile on his face as he pointed to a large, puckered scar stretching from his left shoulder, down and across his pectoral muscle, to finish just above his right hip.

“Jesus! Is he going to be okay?”

“They went to a hospital,” Abed said. “The doctors there said he’ll be fine.”

Jeff’s expression quickly morphed from shocked to impressed. “Then it’s cool. He can say it was done by a werewolf, the same one that bit him.”

“Ooh!” Abed’s eyes grew wide and excited. “Can I tell him that? I’m telling him that,” he said, turning to start typing a response without waiting for an answer from Jeff. His nimble fingers flew over the keyboard, and the single line he’d already written started to grow.

“Sure you can,” Jeff replied. “Tell him I said hi, and we’re all missing him.”

“That’s boring,” Abed said, his nose wrinkling. “I might add that in the last sentence. Or the post scriptum. Did you know that’s what ‘P.S’ stands for? It’s Latin for ‘written after’.”

“If it’s written after, then surely it shouldn’t be put in the post scriptum if you’re thinking of it now,” Jeff said.

Abed nodded in agreement. “Good point, good point…I’ll think of something. I have a few days to reply. Troy’s internet connection is bad.”

Half an hour later, when the three people who lived in the apartment were assembled and heading out to Jeff’s car – leaving Anthony to his own devices for the day – Annie commented on Abed’s good mood.

“It’s not a bad thing. I just…haven’t seen you like this for a while. Not since—Troy. You know.”

Jeff glanced at Abed, raising an eyebrow, and received a shrug in response. “Troy emailed this morning.”

“Technically, it was very late last night,” Abed input.

“He did?” Annie’s whole face lit up. “That’s such good news! Did he and LeVar manage to escape from the pirates, then?”

Abed nodded. “Yep. They’re both fine. Next, they’re heading out of the Gulf of Mexico and further South.”

“Have you sent a reply yet?”

“Nope. Troy’s internet is bad, so I’m going to make sure that it’s perfect before sending it.”

“Then send him my love,” Annie said with a smile.

Abed returned her smile with one of his own. “It’ll be a footnote.”

“Okay,” Annie said happily. As someone who had been Abed’s roommate for two years, she’d figured that would be the case – the fact that he was willing to include her at all in an email to Troy was massive progress from where they’d started.

When Jeff didn’t come home for Annie’s salmon dinner, Abed was confused. He checked his phone, but there weren’t any new messages. Annie said that Jeff hadn’t mentioned anything when she saw him earlier.

Abed ditched dinner with Annie and her weird brother, pulling up the tracker app on his phone to see that Jeff was still at Greendale, and took her car to drive back to the campus.

Once there, he slowly made his way to Jeff’s location, eventually stopping outside room E-9 in the East Wing.

Abed opened the door, blinked as he took in the scene in front of him, then closed the door again.

After he’d processed everything – Jeff and Chang and Hickey and Britta, all tied to chairs, with dozens of textbooks around them and Shirley standing over them – he reopened the door and stepped into the room.

“Why is Jeff tied up?”

Shirley jumped a few inches in the air as Abed’s voice cut through the room, her hand going to clutch at her chest.

“Sweet baby Jesus!”

“Hey, Abed,” Jeff said evenly.

“Hey, Jeff,” Abed replied, equally calm. “What’s going on? Why are you and the others tied up?”

“Shirley’s gone crazy,” Britta half-shouted, her expression wild. “Get out while you still can!”

Abed turned, his brow furrowing at Shirley. “Were you bitten by Annie's Boobs?”

“What? No! These people just…tried to steal from me.”

“I doubt it,” Abed said. “Britta has a weird belief system she implements around you to prove that Christianity isn’t the only way to lead a good life, Hickey used to be a cop, Chang wouldn’t think to steal textbooks, and Jeff’s developing a moral code as he spends more time around the study group.” He ticked off the reasons on his fingers as he went, and when he’d finished, he looked up to find Shirley looking far less righteous than before.

“Oh. I guess I hadn’t looked at it that way.”

Hickey groaned. “Oh, really? You hadn’t looked at it that way? Why is the special kid the one—”

“Shut up!” Jeff shouted, craning his neck to try and glare at Hickey.

Her eyebrows shooting up, Britta tried to look at Jeff. “What was that all about?”

“I think we should let them go,” Abed told Shirley. “Tying people up is bad, and never ends well. Remember that time with Cornwallis?”

Shirley made a considering noise. “That time actually ended pretty well, all things considered. We got a better grade than we would have done.”

“That’s true,” Britta agreed.

Jeff rolled his eyes. “Don’t agree with them! We _don’t want to be tied up_ , remember?”

“I’m just pointing out the obvious,” Britta said.

“What’s all this about tying people up?” Hickey cut in.

“Oh, like you can talk,” Britta scoffed. “How much rope can a person have before it’s a fetish?”

Jeff groaned, and Shirley exclaimed, “ _Britta_!”

Chang said, “Nice!”

“Jeff can’t groan at that,” Britta added. “We _all_ saw those handcuffs at that Cornwallis Christmas party.”

“Says the woman who admitted that she’d been locked in small spaces willingly.”

“Oh-ho!”

Britta and Jeff both looked like they were readying themselves for a long bout of bickering, so Abed cut them off.

“Annie’s waiting for me. And Jeff.” He pointed to his boyfriend. “I left her alone with her weird brother. She made salmon.”

Jeff sighed exasperatedly, and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he was wearing a truly pitiful look. “Please, Shirley,” he said. “I haven’t had a proper dinner in too long. Abed’s favorite meal is buttered noodles and I am just a hopeless boyfriend who cannot resist his beautiful eyes and adorable face.”

Shirley aww-ed, then hurried forward to undo Jeff and Chang’s ropes. A moment later, after she’d expertly undone the knots with a single tug, Jeff leaped to his feet and shook his wrists out.

Chang followed suit, as Shirley moved to the other pair.

Abed stepped up to Jeff, inspecting his rumpled jumper. “We need to go. Annie’s food will be getting cold.”

“I think we have a pretty good explanation,” Jeff shrugged, but followed his boyfriend out of the storage room anyway.

* * *

Advanced Advanced Dungeons and Dragons

“Abed, are you almost done?” Annie’s voice was small and tired, and Jeff let out a sigh of relief at the impending silence. Abed hadn’t passed their decided-upon deadline of ten thirty yet, but both Jeff and Annie had worn themselves out in D&D earlier. “I can’t sleep without my stuffies.”

There was a clatter of dice, and then Abed said, “Ah, a goblin notices you and murders you all. You’re dead. They’re all yours.”

There were footsteps then, and Jeff craned his neck when Abed entered their bedroom. “Are you coming to bed now?”

“Yeah,” Abed said, pulling the duvet up and letting the cold blow in for a second before he curled up into Jeff’s side. Warmth emanated from him, and Jeff instinctively rolled closer.

The next morning, Jeff didn’t bother with putting a shirt on as he rolled out of bed and padded into the kitchen to make a warm mug of coffee. Abed had seen him naked countless times, and living with Annie for nearly six months had inured her to his shirtless self.

With the coffee machine whirring away, Jeff didn’t realize Annie was behind him until she said, “Morning.”

He turned around, leaning back against the counter, and inclined his head. “Morning.”

Instead of going for toast or cereal, or something else that would indicate the reason she was in the kitchen, Annie hesitated in the doorway before moving to lean against the counter opposite Jeff. Her hands twisted together nervously. “I have something I want to tell you.”

“Okay,” Jeff said calmly. “What is it, and should it wait until after I’ve had caffeine?”

There was a slight pause between Jeff’s words and Annie’s laugh, but it was long enough to make him worry.

The coffee machine beeped, and Jeff gratefully turned to take the coffee mug and hold it in his hands. It was burning hot, but he gulped down half of it in one go anyway before he raised an eyebrow at Annie.

“Okay, shoot.”

“I, um…” Annie hesitated again.

“Do you want some coffee?” Jeff lifted his mug in a salute, but Annie laughed nervously and shook her head. The movement was jerky.

“No, no. I’m good, thank you.”

Jeff didn’t say anything else for a good while, just sipping his cooling coffee and giving Annie the metaphorical space needed to say whatever she wanted to.

On the exact dot of ten minutes from the start of their conversation, Annie straightened her back and squared her shoulders and cleared her throat.

“I have something important to tell you,” she said, the words oddly formal.

Jeff nodded.

“I recently started to question my sexuality.”

Letting his eyebrows rise right then wouldn’t be helpful, so Jeff didn’t.

“And…I’ve come to the realization that I’m a lesbian.”

Jeff took a moment to properly formulate his response. “That’s…awesome. How long have you known?”

Annie shrugged, looking down as a flush spread across her cheeks. “About a week.”

“Well, I’m honored that you’ve told me,” Jeff said, meaning every word of it. “And very proud of you for being brave enough to come out.”

“You’re the first person I’ve told,” Annie said, smiling at her friend.

“And now I’m _extra_ honored.”

Annie giggled, but then her shoulders were shaking and she started to cry.

“Ah, shit,” Jeff said, setting down his mug of coffee to awkwardly hold his arms out. “Do you…want a hug?”

She threw herself forward, wrapping him in a vice grip.

Jeff wasn’t sure what to do, so he cautiously asked, “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just…I thought I had a crush on you for years, and then I realized that I’m actually a lesbian, and I don’t know how to tell the group because I was really obvious when I thought I had a crush on you, and what if they say I’m not actually a lesbian, and I’ve been holding this in for a _week_.” The words didn’t stop once they started, and Jeff just patted Annie’s back as she let them tumble out.

“No one’s going to say you’re not actually gay,” Jeff said as gently as he could. “If they do, I’ll punch them.”

Annie made an upset noise, pulling back to give Jeff a look. “Don’t punch one of our friends!”

“Okay, I won’t punch one of our friends,” Jeff conceded. “But, I promise you, not a single one of them will say that.”

“Are you sure?” Annie sniffled slightly as she wiped her eyes.

“Completely and utterly.”

She perked up, straightening and regaining the bounce to her step as she moved to get a glass of water. “I’m glad.”

At that moment, Abed entered the kitchen too, and stopped when he saw both of them. “Something important just happened.”

“Yeah, it did,” Jeff agreed, but didn’t elaborate. He loved Abed so much, but that was Annie’s to share. Not his.

However, Annie took a deep breath in and then blurted out, “I’m a lesbian.”

“Cool,” Abed said without hesitating. “Do you want to add a lesbian pride flag to our collection?” He pointed to one of things Jeff had brought with him from his last apartment: the scotch glass propping up the postcard-sized rainbow and bisexual pride flags.

Annie laughed, pulling Abed into a hug. He blinked.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being you.”

Abed blinked, a little confused, but just shrugged. “Cool.”

* * *

G.I. Jeff

No matter what his friends sometimes thought of him, Abed wasn’t completely blind to social cues. And he knew Jeff better than anyone.

Seeing him in a hospital bed, because he drunk _far_ too much scotch was…bad. Very bad. Because Abed knew Jeff, he knew that Jeff hadn’t drunk anything in months.

Even Jeff steadfastly refused to meet his eyes every time Abed tried to look at him. Even if worry and fear was tearing its way through him, piece by piece. Cell by cell.

After the fifth time Jeff turned his head away, Abed left the room. He couldn’t…couldn’t deal with it. Not then.

Half an hour later, Annie found Abed in the hospital bathrooms. She was cautious to enter the men’s rooms, but when the sound of _sobbing_ reached her, she barged in without a thought.

Abed was slumped on the floor next to the sinks, his knees clutched to his chest and his hands covering his eyes as his shoulders shook.

“Abed,” she murmured, hurrying over. Annie didn’t pause for a second before taking a seat on the sticky floor next to him.

“I need Troy.” The words were choked out, an admission that sounded like it was a long time coming. Annie stiffened at it. “I can’t…I can’t do this without Troy.”

It took her a moment to decide what to do, and then she moved to rest her hand on Abed’s shoulder. He didn’t resist the touch. “Troy—Troy’s not here.”

“I need Troy,” Abed repeated, pressing his face into his hands and his hands into his knees until he was truly hunched over. “He—he would talk to Jeff and he would talk to me and he would understand us both and he would _help_. I can’t—”

He broke off, shaking his head.

“He’ll be home,” Annie said, her voice unintentionally wistful. “And, in the meantime, you and Jeff can make it work.”

Abed shuddered. “I—”

“You’ve made it two months without him,” Annie continued, then added, her voice barely a whisper, “We’ve _all_ made it two months without him.”

“I think Jeff tried to kill himself,” Abed said abruptly.

Annie froze, going stiff as a board, her eyes widening.

“He knew what he was doing. Jeff’s not stupid. He knows how much alcohol he can drink, and he went way over that limit.”

“He—” Annie started to say, then cut herself off. “Yeah,” she said, quiet. “I thought that might be the case, I just didn’t want to think about it.”

“I don’t know—how do I help him?” Abed’s voice cracked halfway through, and when Annie looked down, she saw that his hands were shaking. “Suicide isn’t—that isn’t something that’s supposed to be on our show. It’s not something that can be solved in twenty-two minutes with a few nice words and group hug.”

Annie sighed, discreetly wiping away the tears pooling in her own eyes. “You need to talk to him. Tell Jeff exactly how you’re feeling right now, and then say that you’re here to support him with whatever he needs.”

“Okay,” Abed nodded. “I’ll—” He went to stand, only for his legs to give out and under him so he collapsed back to the floor with a loud crash. “My legs have fallen asleep.”

It was said so simply, and after the conversation they’d just had, that Annie couldn’t help the giggle she let out. Abed returned it with the faintest hint of a smile – just a twitching of the corner of his mouth, really – but it was more than he’d done for the last four hours since Hickey texted to say that he’d found Jeff and they were in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

“Jeff.” The word had very little meaning in itself, but Jeff knew the person saying it.

He sat more upright, his eyes flicking to the door – and the man standing in it – for a moment before he looked away, down at his hands. There was an IV going into one of them.

“We need to talk.”

“I’m sorry,” Jeff blurted out. “I am so, _so_ sorry, Abed. I didn’t mean—”

“We both know that’s not true,” Abed interrupted, but he moved over to sit in the single chair, next to Jeff’s bed. Jeff still couldn’t look at him. “You tried to kill yourself.”

The words were stark, previously unspoken. Nobody had quite dared to say them yet.

“I trusted you enough to leave you alone on the one day of the year when I knew you might do something stupid, and you tried to kill yourself.”

Jeff didn’t know what to say in the face of Abed’s complete honesty.

“I am _terrified_ right now. I don’t know if you’re going to try again, and I don’t know what I would do if you did.”

“I’m not going to try it again,” Jeff hurried to say. “This was—a one off thing. Not even—I didn’t drink that much, because I wanted to kill myself. I have…I haven’t drunk anything in months, and then I started again last night and I couldn’t stop myself. I wasn’t thinking, this wasn’t a—a—suicide attempt. It won’t happen again.”

“But how do you know that for sure?” Abed asked, incredibly serious. “You didn’t go into last night, intending to kill yourself. But that almost happened anyway.”

Jeff didn’t—couldn’t—respond.

“You need to promise me—or one of the others, or anyone you care about—that you’re not going to do this again,” Abed said. “Because, if you do that, you will struggle to break that promise to that person you care about. And…” He trailed off, and for the first time since he’d returned, his voice trembled. “And I can’t lose you.”

Abed didn’t say ‘too,’ but Jeff knew it was there.

“Not after Troy,” he added quietly.

“No,” Abed disagreed. “Ever.”

Jeff took a deep breath in, then raised his gaze to meet Abed’s head-on. “I promise you, on everything our relationship has ever meant to me, that I won’t drink that much again, and I’ll think things through before putting my life at risk.”

“Good.” Abed nodded, then said, his voice softening to barely a whisper, “Please keep that promise.”

Jeff wasn’t sure if he was meant to hear that part, but he nodded anyway.

A few hours later, in the five minutes Abed had allotted for relieving himself and getting something to eat, Annie poked her head in the door.

“Hey, Jeff.” She looked nervous, glancing around the room every few seconds.

“Hey, Annie,” Jeff greeted in turn.

“Did you and Abed talk?”

Jeff nodded. “We did.”

“And?” There was so much more to that question than the single word Annie had said.

Letting out a deep sigh, Jeff said, “I made a promise to him. You don’t have to worry; I won’t be doing something like that again.”

“That’s not the big issue,” Annie said. “The problem isn’t that you drank that much, the problem is that you were in a place where you didn’t think it mattered that you were drinking that much.”

Jeff searched for another topic to change the conversation to. Something immediately came to mind: “Weren’t you going to come out to the group this morning?”

“Something else came up,” Annie replied, shrugging like it didn’t matter.

“ _Shit_ ,” Jeff swore. “Sorry, Annie. How can I make it up to you?”

“Get better,” Annie said earnestly. “That’s what you can do. Not just physically--” She gestured to the IV line going into Jeff’s arm, and the other devices beeping faintly in the background “—but so you’re in a place where this isn’t going to happen again.”

Jeff nodded immediately. “Will do.”

“I’ll come out when things have settled down a bit again,” Annie added. “Not too much – I know better than to expect _peace_ – but a bit more than now.”

“Well, I’ll support you whenever you want to come out,” Jeff said, smiling up at his roommate.

“Good,” Annie said primly, her mouth curving into a smile, and she turned on her heel just as Abed opened the door.

* * *

Basic Story

“I have something I’d like to announce,” Annie said suddenly at the end of a meeting. It had been a few weeks since Jeff’s birthday, and things had settled back into a mostly normal rhythm.

Jeff immediately straightened, looking up from his phone to focus on Annie. Next to him, Britta noted the sudden change in his demeanor with a frown.

“I’m a lesbian,” Annie said calmly. “I’m giving each of you a single question, starting with Shirley and then going clockwise around the table. Shirley?”

She turned to the older woman, raising an eyebrow. Jeff only noticed the slight tremble of Annie’s hands because he was watching carefully.

“Oh, um,” Shirley said, caught off guard. “I’m so proud of you Annie! How long have you known?”

“Thank you,” Annie said, dipping her head, “and a few weeks.” Her focus moved on. “Professor Hickey?”

Hickey just waved his hand and grunted, leaning back in his chair.

Annie’s expression didn’t shift, and she turned to Chang. He opened his mouth to speak, and Annie just skipped right over him, and over Abed – who already knew – to Britta.

“Hey!” Chang shouted, but Annie ignored him.

“Britta?”

Looking like she’d been caught off-guard, Britta blinked before asking, “Did you come out Abed already?”

“ _That’s_ your question?” Annie gave Britta an unimpressed look.

“No!” Britta hurried to say. “It’s not! My question is…” She glanced around the room, and then at Jeff, as if that would help her come up with something, then her face lit up. “Oh! Was there anything in particular that made you realize?”

Annie shrugged, aiming for prim, but Jeff noticed the faint pink coloring her cheeks that wasn’t there before. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I met a very cute girl.”

Britta and Shirley and Abed joined in with Jeff to go: “ _Oooh_.”

“I haven’t seen her since the dance a few weeks back,” Annie said quickly, in the way she always did when she was trying to convince them that something wasn’t a big deal. “She was managing the coat check, but I haven’t seen her since.”

“Was she the one in the fluffy white jumper?” Abed asked, leaning forward.

Annie’s cheeks reddened even more, and Abed took that as the indication that it was.

“She was cute,” Abed said, nodding before relaxing back into his chair. “You have good taste.”

“Now, are you sure you should be saying stuff like when your partner is sitting right there?” Hickey’s voice was as gruff as usual, and Jeff rolled his eyes at the man.

“If Abed’s _boyfriend_ had a problem with it, I’m sure he would say so.”

“Are you seriously still using the term ‘boyfriend’? How long have you been dating now – what is it, two, three years?”

“Three and a half years,” Abed agreed.

“Abed is my boyfriend,” Jeff said firmly. “And we are over-shadowing Annie’s important news.”

Annie waved a dismissive hand, a wide smile on her face. “It’s _fine_. I love hearing about your relationship, anyway.”

“Today is your day,” Jeff insisted, and then reached under the table for the bag he’d put there when he’d arrived early for the meeting. He drew its contents out, then set the cake box inside down on the table; opening it revealed a cake covered in (edible) silver glitter.

“Aww!” Annie’s whole face lit up, the mask she’d worn to get through her coming out melting like butter. “Is that for me?”

“Ultimately, yes, but I was hoping you would share some,” Jeff said with a grin.

“It looks delicious,” Britta offered, a slightly wary look on her face as she beheld the glittery monstrosity. “Uh—is that all…edible?”

“Yep,” Abed said, reaching into his bag to pull out a stack of paper plates, and a sharp kitchen knife. He slid them all across the table to Annie, who recoiled from the knife as it spun towards her.

But she picked it up anyway, her smile widening slightly as she noticed the little notch Jeff had marked on all his knives when he moved in, to indicate that they were good quality and only to be used for cooking. “This is one of Jeff’s fancy knives.”

“What?” Jeff reached for his knife. “That shouldn’t be in school, I’ll get another--”

“Nope,” Annie said, looking entirely too pleased with herself. “It’s _my_ day. Remember?”

Jeff considered it for a moment, then groaned and flopped back in his chair. “This is your present: using one of my knives.”

“It’s an excellent present,” Annie told him, barely hiding her smile. She pulled the cake box across the table and pulled the sides down so she could properly cut the cake.

When she did, the inside was a rainbow.

Annie’s delighted laugh forced a smile on Jeff’s face.

* * *

Basic Sandwich

“I’m leaving.”

The words were unforgiving. There was no leeway given, no other meaning they could have.

It took a moment for Jeff to process them. And then, once he had, all he could do was breathe out, “What?”

Shirley clenched her hands together even tighter and set her jaw before repeating, “I’m leaving.” This time, she added, “For Atlanta. My father is ill, and I’m moving to help him. Andre’s promised that he’ll bring the kids to visit me, but…I don’t think I’ll be able to come back for a while.”

“Oh,” Jeff murmured. “ _Oh_.”

“I wanted to tell you first,” Shirley continued, her voice trembling only slightly, “because I thought you would best understand how to deal with this. Out of everyone, you managed to get through Troy’s departure the best. I was hoping that you could…you could help me break the news, please?”

Jeff took a deep breath in, then let it out, squashing his rising panic down into a tiny, tiny ball. He gave her a wide smile. “Of course I’ll help. What do you want me to do?”

Annie cried when Shirley announced the news. Britta tried to pretend she wasn’t on the verge of it. Abed just stared, a blank look in eyes like he couldn’t believe this was happening.

That evening, Jeff went out to a bar and ordered a scotch, but couldn’t drink it. Instead, he just stared at the alcohol for hours, not sure what to do.

The group felt like it was falling apart around him. Pierce had died, swiftly followed by Troy’s departure, and then Shirley was leaving too. Three friends gone in less than a year was – hard.

And, intellectually, Jeff knew that Troy was going to return, and Shirley was going to as well at some point. But it was hard to tell that to his heart.

The day Shirley left, Abed didn’t say anything until the last minute when he silently held out a bag for her to take; when she opened it, she found all seven _Kickpuncher_ DVDs. Taken straight from Abed’s shelf.

Britta had made a plate of vegan brownies, and gave them to Shirley when it was her turn, doing her best to pretend that the tears welling in her eyes weren’t because she was sad.

Annie presented a scrap book, filled to the brink with photos and news articles and little memorabilia from their five years together as a group. That was when Shirley started to cry too, leafing through the years of memories.

Jeff was the last to say goodbye, and all he could do was stare down at her for a moment before Shirley pulled him into a warm and soft hug. He clung on for as long as he could, and both of them pretended he wasn’t silently sobbing into her shoulder. When he finally felt like he’d regained his composure, Jeff pulled away and gave Shirley a nod.

She’d always understood him in a way no one else did. They may not have done lots of things together, but there was a comfort in their friendship.

So, when she bid farewell and climbed into her car to drive away, Jeff couldn’t help but pull Abed close and hold him for comfort. Abed returned the gesture, his hands clutching in Jeff’s shirt as Shirley’s car pulled out of the parking lot.


	8. Season 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important note: there are moments in this season where Jeff attacks Abed in some way, shape or form (think the strangling in the frisbees). I want to make it clear that these don't happen in this version of things, even when I don't explicitly say so. 'Cause that's, you know, abusive.

Ladders

Surprisingly little had changed at the start of Jeff’s sixth year – season, as Abed would say – at Greendale. Rather, the feeling was oddly similar, despite everything that had changed.

Shirley had gone, but they weren’t really talking about it. Annie’s girlfriend, Rachel, rarely came back to their apartment. Troy was…still gone.

And then Frankie Dart showed up.

“Frankie!” Jeff called out as he strode across the cafeteria. “Hi! Um…someone removed all the liquor from the faculty lounge.”

“I’m sorry,” Frankie said, “I cannot legally protect or insure a campus with free-flowing booze.”

“Well, the teachers are struggling to teach with free-flowing sobriety,” Jeff countered.

“Is that true?” Frankie looked startled. “Do you think you’re an addict?”

“Oh, no,” Jeff said. “I promised Abed I’d stop drinking too much.”

Frankie frowned. “Why would Abed’s opinion matter to you?”

“Uh…because they’re boyfriends?” Britta pulled a face. “Duh-doy! Everyone knows that.”

“You’re in a student-teacher relationship?” The question was asked very seriously, and Jeff felt his stomach drop.

“Yeah,” he said, crossing his arms.

“Have you filed the necessary paperwork for that?”

Jeff raised an eyebrow. “Have you _seen_ the necessary paperwork? No, we haven’t filed it. We were dating long before I became a teacher.”

“I’m sorry, but that’s highly inappropriate,” Frankie said, shaking her head. “I’ll bring the paperwork by later so you and Abed can fill it out.”

“Yeah…that’s not going to be happening…”

Frankie stiffened, her jaw setting, but before she could push the matter further, Annie bounced over with her favorite fluffy binder and Jeff used the distraction to make a quick escape.

After everything went wrong and Frankie left and Abed and Jeff burst through a door to give her a montage of apologies, she returned to Greendale with them in Jeff’s car.

As they pulled up to Jeff’s parking space, she leaned forward from the backseat to address both of them. “I see why people are so invested in your relationship. You’re cute together.”

“Yep,” Abed agreed.

“I’ll rewrite the teacher-student relationship paperwork to something…appropriate,” Frankie said. “I did read it, like you told me to, and I…do not know what the Dean was thinking.”

“Are you sure you aren’t just changing your mind because a dozen people threatened you for trying to ‘break-up’ me and Abed?” Jeff asked with a somewhat wry smile on his face.

Frankie laughed. “It’s true: no less than ten people told me, in one capacity or another, that if you two broke up because of me, then they’d make my life a living hell.”

“Our relationship has become a beacon of the diversity at Greendale,” Abed said. “Jeff’s the only teacher who’s out, so it’s important for the gay students.”

“Well, I won’t try to, quote unquote, ‘break you up’ again,” Frankie said. “Not that I was ever really trying, but everyone at this school is obsessed with drama.”

Jeff nodded. “It’s okay, I get it. Greendale’s crazy. Moving here needs an adjustment period. I’m just, as we established earlier, sorry that we weren’t more welcoming of the change you’re bringing. It’ll do good for the school.”

“Yeah,” Abed agreed. “Also, we got to do an homage to _Miller’s Crossing_.” He nodded to emphasize his point. “Jeff and I are going to re-watch it tonight.”

“That’s great,” Frankie said, but she didn’t sound particularly enthused. “Now, should we go and do our jobs?”

“Sure,” Abed said, and turned to open the door.

* * *

Lawnmower Maintenance & Postnatal Care

The morning after Britta moved in, Jeff opened his bedroom door to see her sprawled on her couch.

Resisting the urge to groan, he slowly shuffled into the kitchen and started to prepare his morning coffee. A faint, complaining noise came from Britta and she rolled over, pulling the duvet over her head.

Jeff couldn’t help but feel like the four of them were all that remained of his found family; that it had slowly been falling apart. And Britta moving in with him and Abed and Annie was…like a final peak, before everything was over.

Or maybe he’d been watching too much TV.

“What are you thinking about so hard?” Britta’s sleep voice said from behind him, and Jeff turned to see her padding into the kitchen as she wiped sleep dust out of her eyes. “I can practically hear your brain whirring.”

“Is that your psych major I hear talking?” Jeff asked, amused.

Britta pulled a face at him, reaching up to try and snatch Jeff’s mug out of his hands; he lifted it up, out of her reach.

“Get your own!”

“Screw you,” Britta muttered. “First you wake me up, now you deprive me of my coffee.”

“This is _my_ coffee.”

“It’s not if I say it isn’t.”

Jeff raised an eyebrow, leaning back against the kitchen counter. “Get your own coffee, newbie. You’ve only been here for less than a day.”

“Screw you,” Britta repeated, but pulled out a new mug and pushed Jeff out of the way to start the coffee machine anyway.

They stood in silence for a while, Britta waiting for her coffee to cool down while Jeff slowly sipped his.

Then, Jeff said, “Sorry about your parents.”

“It’s cool, I made up with them,” Britta said, dismissing the apology with a wave of her coffee mug. Some splashed over the rim, dripping down onto the tiles.

Jeff sighed. The old him, the one before Abed and all of his other incredible friends, would have accepted that. The new him – or rather, the four-year-old him – wasn’t about to. “It’s not cool. We shouldn’t have gone behind your back like that. All three of us know what it’s like to have shitty parents who act differently when they’re with other people.”

“My parents aren’t as bad as any of yours,” Britta said quietly, looking down at her steaming coffee. “Mine never abandoned me because of my neurodivergence, or kicked me out because I wanted to go to rehab, or-or pretended that I was better off because they’d left me at the age of nine.”

“That doesn’t make yours any better.” Jeff took another swig of his coffee, bracing himself, then said, “Annie’s parents kicked her out again.”

Britta frowned. “Again?”

“After her brother came over, Annie reached out to her parents to try and rekindle their relationship. Things were going _great_ , until she came out to them on their first dinner.”

“Well, shit,” Britta breathed, her eyes growing wide. “I didn’t realize her parents were homophobic.”

“Who do you think she got the ‘friend of Ellen’ thing from?” Jeff asked bitterly. He swallowed the last of his coffee and set the cup down on the counter. “That was back in June.”

Britta shook her head. “That’s terrible.”

“Annie doesn’t like talking about it, but I’d recommend you don’t bring her parents up.”

“What about her new girlfriend?” Britta asked. “How’s that going?”

Jeff’s face softened into a smile. It wasn’t quite the I’m-so-in-love smile that came on his face when he was talking about Abed, but there was a gentleness to it that Britta didn’t often see with him. “Rachel’s nice. I’ve only met her a few times, but Annie really likes her.”

“I’m glad she’s found someone nice,” Britta said with a smile. “Back in second year I thought she was going to pine after you forever!”

Jeff huffed a quiet laugh. “Looking back, she never really had a crush on me.”

“Oh, I can see that _now_ ,” Britta said. “Also, I’m looking forward to meeting this Rachel.”

“Don’t rush them,” Jeff told her. “They’ve only been dating for two months.”

Britta shrugged. “Eh.”

* * *

Basic Crisis Room Decorum

As soon as Frankie had been notified about the impending disaster, Annie leapt to her feet and hurriedly pulled some clothes on before rushing across the apartment to slam Jeff and Abed’s door open.

Before she could say anything, she froze at the sight that awaited her.

“Knock next time!” Jeff shouted as he stormed into the study room.

Annie, rushing to keep up with him, apologized for the umpteenth time.

“Woah, what’s all this?” Frankie asked, looking taken aback.

Her cheeks flushing, Annie said, “I…um…”

“Annie walked in on me and Jeff having sex,” Abed answered easily, continuing to type on his laptop as he moved to sit down at the table.

Frankie’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh.”

“Yep,” Abed said. “She’s awkward, he’s angry.” He pointed at the two of them in turn.

“Moving on…” Annie said rather pointedly, looking down to both rummage in her bag and hide her face. When she pulled out the printed email, she explained the situation.

“It’s not even an emergency,” Jeff complained once she’d finished, throwing himself down in his seat and pulling out his phone.

Annie huffed. “It absolutely _is_ an emergency.”

“You said that last time too,” Abed commented, continuing to type on his computer.

“This sort of emergency happens a lot here?” Frankie looked around the room. “You get called into Greendale at three in the morning.”

“You’d be surprised,” Abed said, “but I was actually referring to Annie walking in on me and Jeff. It’s a common trope that happens more with roommates than you might expect.”

“Wait, you three are living together?”

Everyone ignored Chang.

“Got it,” Abed said suddenly, and they all gathered around to watch the attack ad on his laptop.

* * *

Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing

“They want you to be a token homosexual?” Frankie asked for clarification, and Jeff felt his heart sink in his chest.

“It’s a form of progress,” Jeff offered. “Thirty years ago, they never would have considered putting an openly gay person in a position of power.”

The Dean pulled a face. “But I’m not gay.”

“The sad news, Craig?” Jeff said. “Anything other than straight is _plenty_ gay for a schoolboard. Some people still call me gay, even some of the women I once had sex with. Even when I’ve told them I’m bi. Some people just don’t care.”

“The most important point is,” Frankie cut in, “are you prepared to make your sexuality – which is nobody’s business – an aspect of your role in society? I know I’m not, so I don’t. Jeff may be, but you’ve seen how he’s struggled with it.”

Jeff sighed. “There’s more to it than that, but yeah.”

“The schoolboard thinks that I’ll also be representing you guys,” the Dean added, biting his lip. “The Save Greendale committee has three out of six openly lesbian or bisexual members. To a lot of the school, you’re a presentation of LGBT people in a way they’ve never seen before. Because you’re, I don’t know, ordinary.”

“That is a point,” Frankie said. “They’ve chosen you, not just because they think you’re gay, but because you represent a larger section of people who were angry by their cancelling the Pride Parade.”

“That was a dick move on their part,” Jeff complained. “It was supposed to be for celebrating same-sex marriage becoming legal in Colorado.”

“No matter what we think of it,” Frankie said, “that’s where the decision stands, Dean.”

The Dean looked down for a moment, considering, and when he raised his head again there was a smile on his face. “Okay. I’ll do it.” Holding his arms out, he suggested, “Group hug?”

A week later, once the Dean had come out as pansexual and then a politician and been kicked off the school board, he and Jeff were walking down the corridor to Jeff’s office when a young woman stopped in front of them.

“Dean, I just wanted to say thank you for coming out as pansexual,” she said, clutching the straps of her backpack tightly. “It…means a lot. To a lot of us. I know this probably isn’t the first time you’ve heard it but…”

The Dean nodded graciously. “I don’t want it to overshadow my job, but I’m glad to be supporting the students here.”

The woman smiled back at him, then her gaze slid to Jeff. “Mr. Winger.”

“Lily,” Jeff returned easily, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “I’ll see you in class on Friday.”

“Is the homework due then?” she asked, relaxing. “Also, what was that homework?”

Jeff chuckled. “That’s the kind of attitude I like. Read and make notes on pages one to ten of that website.”

“Cool,” Lily said. “Thanks, Mr. Winger.” She walked off again, hurrying to catch up to the group of people Jeff vaguely recognized as her friends.

“What was that?” the Dean asked once she’d left, a frown on his face.

Jeff raised an eyebrow. “What was what?”

“That. That young lady – Lily, did you say? – thanked me for being out, but didn’t say anything to you.”

“I make it very clear at the start of the semester than questions regarding my sexuality, and discussions of its existence, will not be tolerated,” Jeff said. “It’s the only way I don’t get a _million_ questions about the Pride flag on my desk.”

“Oh. Don’t you want to invite students to be themselves too?”

“Not if it means letting the homophobic ones also get a say,” Jeff said flatly. “Enough approach me at the start of the year as it is. I have the right to set boundaries, and I spent long enough as a student having to tolerate that shit. If people genuinely want to talk to me, I have office hours.”

The Dean looked taken aback, but nodded anyway. “That’s…nice…”

* * *

Laws of Robotics

When Willy asked, “Are you carrying any murders, Mr. Winger?” Jeff couldn’t help but remember Cornelius Hawthorne.

“Well,” he answered slowly, letting his face fall, “that would depend on your definition of murder.”

The class somehow grew even quieter than when Willy had confessed to being a murderer. You could have heard a pin drop.

There was silence for a moment, and then Garrett asked with a trembling voice, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“The dictionary defines murder as the unlawful premeditated killing of one human being by another,” Jeff said with an ease that only came from three years of dealing with his actions. “By that definition, no. I haven’t murdered anyone.”

“Oh?” Willy’s expression had shifted ever so slightly, but Jeff couldn’t put his finger on what, exactly, had changed.

“Some people would say that it’s murder to…run over an animal. They’ll jump out of their car and shout at the driver that they’ve murdered this poor little bunny rabbit,” Jeff explained. “Ask Britta Perry for stories about that incident,” he added, with a slightly grin on his face that no one else in the class shared.

His face fell back to his very serious expression as he continued. “Some people would consider it murder to yell at your old friend’s even older father until he has a heart attack.”

Utter, utter silence.

“Of course, those people aren’t the ones who knew Pierce Hawthorne, or his father Cornelius. They aren’t the ones who heard about Cornelius’ questionable replacement organs; they aren’t the ones who knew that he was ninety-one years old. They aren’t the ones who had to deal with his horrible racist, sexist, homophobic, anti-Semitic words. And yet I doubt you’ll remember any of what I just said when you leave this classroom today. All you’ll remember is that Jeffrey Winger killed someone.”

Willy was looking very much like this was not where he wanted his question to end up.

“Which leads very nicely to our next topic.” Jeff got to his feet and picked up the chalk to write a single word on the board behind him. “Precedent.”

“Why the hell is there a party going on?” Jeff asked Annie the second he saw her pushing through the crowd of people to try and get a glass of water before bed.

303 was filled with people, most of whom Jeff recognized as students from Greendale, none of whom should have been in their home.

“Britta convinced Abed to throw a party,” Annie answered, having to shout to be heard over the music. “She’s pretending their making a movie together.”

Jeff pulled a face, looking around at the people dancing in their home with disgust. “Ugh. I really do not need this today.”

“Oh no, what happened?” Annie asked, the anger on her face morphing into concern.

“Just a bad day.”

Annie looked more intently at him. “Is this about you telling your class that you murdered Pierce’s dad?”

“Nope,” Jeff said, stiffening, “it is very much _not_ about that.”

Annie patted his shoulder. “If you need anyone to talk to, I’m here.”

“Don’t you have your own life to bother with?” Jeff muttered under his breath.

“What was that?”

“I asked if you think Rachel would like this kind of thing,” Jeff adjusted, pasting a smile on his face. “You could invite her over?”

Annie glanced around, then shook her head. “No, this isn’t really her type of situation. We normally go for quiet dates.”

“Also, it would prove to Britta that she’s not entirely wrong?” Jeff said, his smile widening into a genuinely amused grin.

Rolling her eyes, Annie conceded, “Fine. I’ll admit that it…wouldn’t help my case against her.”

“I’ll help you in the morning,” Jeff said. “I’m not an any bigger fan of this than you are.”

Annie nodded, the gesture tight and controlled. “Good. You can help me make Britta cry.”

Before Jeff could correct Annie’s assumption, she’d walked off back to her bedroom, and he didn’t care _that_ much.

Jeff arrived at the Dean’s office the next morning to find that Willy was already there, filing a complaint about his teaching style.

“Are these accusations true, Jeffrey?” the Dean asked, a horrified expression on his face.

“What accusation?” Jeff was exhausted; no matter how much he’d banged on the wall, the party had kept going until early in the morning and kept him up.

“That you _murdered_ someone.”

“No,” Jeff said flatly. “Those accusations aren’t true.”

“Well, Willy here tells me that you boasted about it to your class yesterday,” the Dean said. “Those are impressionable young people, who do _not_ need to hear about it.”

“I used my own experiences with death as an example to my law class about how not every case is as it seems, and the details can massively change the verdict,” Jeff said with a shrug. “Willy’s the one who asked if I’d _murdered_ anyone.”

He would not let anyone see that he was affected. He would not let the man who tried to murder him see his weakness.

“Also, he tried to murder me last night.”

“Jeffrey!” the Dean exclaimed.

Later, after Jeff had thrown Willy down the stairs and the Dean had sent him home, he flopped down on the couch that _wasn’t_ Britta’s bed.

There were, once again people in the apartment, and decorations hung up, and more alcohol than had been there for over a year; before Britta moved in, no one in the apartment had really drunk.

As the music turned up, Jeff groaned and got to his feet again before going to knock on Annie’s door. It took a minute, but then she opened the door just as crack. When she saw it was him, she opened it further and went back to her bed.

School work was spread out on the bed, along with Abed’s noise cancelling headphones.

“What do you want?” she asked, a little grumpily.

“I’ve been suspended,” Jeff answered, the words coming out without inflection.

Annie’s eyes widened and her knee fell away from her chest as she straightened. “What?”

“You know the prisoners?” She nodded. “One of them tried to push me down the stairs, then when I threw him down the stairs today the Dean didn’t believe me.”

“Jeff, that’s terrible,” Annie said softly, pushing her work to one side so she could jump up from her bed to give him a hug. “What can we do about it?”

Jeff gave into the hug, wrapping his arms around his roommate. “I don’t know.”

“What’s this about you being suspended?” Abed’s voice asked suddenly from the doorway; both of them were used to his sudden appearances, but one of the party-goers by the door jumped in fright, spilling their beer all over them.

“You heard that?” Jeff asked, his eyebrows rising in surprise.

“Unimportant,” Abed said. “Where did Willy try to push you down the stairs?”

Annie frowned. “Why does that matter?”

“By my parking space,” Jeff said. “Level two.”

Setting his camera down in a single, smooth move, Abed swiftly pulled his laptop out and started typing.

“What’s he doing?” Annie whispered to Jeff.

“You’ll see,” Jeff replied. “I completely forgot about this.”

“About what?”

Abed made an excited noise, and spun his computer to show the two of them a grainy security feed of the stairway in question. He pressed play, and a little Jeff appeared on the screen.

The scene from Jeff’s memory played in pixelated black and white – Willy appearing on his iPad, having a conversation with Jeff, and then trying to push him down the stairs.

“What footage is this from?” Annie asked.

“Greendale security cameras,” Abed answered easily.

Annie opened her mouth, closed it again, then opened it to ask, “Why?”

“It’s proof.”

“Does it matter why?” Jeff asked, feeling far more at ease in himself than he had ten minutes before. “We’ve got the evidence needed to prove that my actions were justified, and I can return to teaching while Willy will be kicked out. I hope.”

Annie ignored him. “Abed, I’m asking why you have easy access to the school’s security feed.”

“I use it for my movies sometimes,” Abed said, then added as if it were no big deal, “I hacked into their systems years ago.”

“You _what_?” Annie looked shocked, her earlier anger at Britta completely forgotten.

“Abed uses it for his movies sometimes,” Jeff repeated on behalf of his boyfriend. “It’s no big deal, come on. We have to tell the Dean about this.”

Abed frowned, glancing out of Annie’s open bedroom door to the people clustered in their living room. “Can it wait until tomorrow? I still haven’t got footage of people partying like there’s no tomorrow.”

Jeff opened his mouth to say something, then decided against it; Abed and Britta needed to adjust to living with each other, and the quickest way to do that was have them clash in a low-stakes way. The corner of Annie’s mouth tugged up, and she mouthed, ‘We’ll make her beg.’

Jeff found himself less disturbed by it than he felt he should have been.

* * *

Advanced Safety Features

“You got a computer in your office?” Elroy asked, and Jeff started to feel a fraction of suspicion.

“Yes.”

Elroy poured himself a glass of scotch. “You check your emails on that computer?”

“Uh-huh.” Jeff did not like where this was going at all.

“You look at pictures of your boyfriend on that computer?”

Jeff didn’t let himself blush, even as Britta’s gaze shot to him. “None of your business.”

“Well, whatever you’ve done, they’ve got it. They’ve got everything.” Elroy laughed, like he hadn’t dropped a bombshell. “It’s Vietnam now, baby. It’s Vietnam!” He walked off.

“Anyways,” Britta hurried to say, looking distinctly more scared now, “like I said, thanks.” She started out of the room, but not quickly enough to not hear Jeff’s shout after her.

“You know I live with you, right?”

_I have private emails on there. Emails with Abed. Emails with Troy that…Abed shouldn’t be seeing, not yet. Emails that are_ no one’s _business._

_Fuck._

Jeff did not read Abed’s emails.

As he walked through Greendale’s hallways, that knowledge was the only thing he had to comfort himself:

Jeff hadn’t betrayed his boyfriend’s trust.

It wasn’t much against the whispering, or the things his fellow committee members had written about him. But it was something.

* * *

Advanced Safety Features

Anyone who had lived with Annie Edison for longer than a week knew that the front door opening and shutting should never be followed by silence.

Jeff and Abed were sitting on the couch together, and Britta was across town with her boyfriend and parents, so the only person it could be was Annie; he looked up in concern at the lack of her usual, cheerful greetings.

Sure enough, Annie’s eyes were red and puffy and her backpack was slung over only one shoulder.

Abed had already paused the TV by the time Jeff had seen their roommate, and his brow pinched as he looked up at Annie.

“What’s wrong?”

Annie didn’t respond, just pressed one hand to her face and kept the other tightly clutching the strap of her backpack.

“Do you want chocolate?” Abed dived across the couch, to where he’d slung his satchel on the armrest. “I still have three of your Reese’s peanut butter cups.”

“This isn’t—” Annie started, then broke off with a sob. She inhaled and then exhaled deeply, and then said, “Rachel broke up with me.”

Jeff’s eyebrows shot up at the revelation, but he ignored his own surprise in favor of pushing to his feet to open his arms wide.

Annie eagerly accepted his offer of a hug, falling against Jeff and burying her wet face in his sweater. Her arms wrapped around him, hands clutching in soft wool, as Jeff enveloped her in a hug.

“What happened?” he asked gently. “I thought you two were getting along great.”

“I thought so too,” Annie sobbed, pressing further into Jeff.

Behind her, Abed’s head tilted to one side. “What reason did she give?”

Annie pulled away then, carefully sitting down on the sofa. Abed handed her one of the fluffy blankets, and she immediately pulled it over herself, tucking her legs up to her chest.

“I told her that I love her.” Annie’s voice was quiet now, punctuated by only the slightest hitches of breath. “And-and she said that she didn’t feel the same. That she-she didn’t think she ever would.”

Taking a seat next to her, Jeff rested a hand on Annie’s shoulder. “Shit, Annie. I’m so sorry.”

“That’s not fun,” Abed agreed.

Annie nodded, biting her lip as she wiped away some of her tears. “I just—I didn’t think—In films, they always say ‘I love you’ back.”

As gently as he could, Abed said, “Films mostly consist of straight characters in extremely unhealthy relationships.”

“It’s true,” Jeff said, “but not necessarily what Annie needs to hear right now.” Over the top of Annie’s head, he raised an eyebrow at Abed, who took a moment to get it, but when he did, he offered Annie a handful of Reese’s peanut butter cups. She took one, absently peeling off the wrapper as she hunched further in on herself.

“I mean…” Abed glanced up at Jeff for a moment, before he continued in a falsetto. “That good-for-nothing bitch! I _knew_ things wouldn’t end well with you two, she was a disaster waiting to happen.”

Jeff grimaced as Annie stared up at Abed for a moment before crying even harder.

“What was that?” he asked his boyfriend rather pointedly.

Abed answered in his normal voice, a confused expression on his face. “That’s what girls always say in movies when their friend’s broken-up with their boyfriend.”

“In real life, most break-ups don’t have a good guy and a bad guy,” Jeff explained. He wasn’t entirely sure whether he was addressing Abed or Annie, or both. “They’re just…two people in a relationship that isn’t working out. And it’s normally shit for both of them, but that’s just how things work out sometimes.”

Annie glanced up at him, then shook her head. She leant back against Abed, resting her head on his shoulder. “I think…I preferred Abed’s method.”

Jeff sighed dramatically, but couldn’t help the grin on his face as Abed fist-pumped.

“Just maybe…cut out some of the meaner stuff,” Annie added, meeting Abed’s eyes for a moment.

Abed nodded, his mouth twitching into a smile. Then, he face lit up with an idea. “We should have a girls’ night. Painting nails, gossiping, makeovers. In movies, that always helps.”

“That sounds like a great idea,” Annie told him, coughing out a wet laugh.

When Britta burst into 303 an hour later, burning with the news of her break-up, she stopped in her tracks at the sight of her three roommates sat on the couch.

Annie was painting Jeff’s fingernails a hot pink with a deft hand, Abed sat between them with his hands held at weird angle to make sure he didn’t chip the still-drying nail polish.

“—and then, I told her that Philomena was a stupid name for a dog,” Jeff said, sounding like he was halfway through a very confusing story.

Annie nodded excitedly, and although her eyes were red, there was smile on her face. Britta was confused.

“So she told me that she’d never let Rory see Zaina ever again. And you know what I said?”

Abed’s eyes were wide as he looked intently at Jeff, and Annie shook her head in response as she moved onto the next fingernail.

“‘You’re never getting those oranges!’”

Both Abed and Annie burst out laughing, like Jeff had said the funniest thing they’d ever heard, and Jeff chuckled to himself at the memory.

“Okay, what the hell is happening here?” Britta asked, crossing her arms.

“Rachel broke-up with Annie so we’re having a girls’ night,” Abed answered easily, jerking his thumb towards Annie.

Her face fell at the reminder, and Britta then understood her red eyes and the bag dumped unceremoniously by the couch instead of on its hook. “Shit, Annie. Are you okay?”

“Jeff and Abed are helping,” Annie shrugged.

She tried to look nonchalant and failed spectacularly, so Britta shoved back her feelings about Rick and instead turned to pull out the fancy bottle of wine she’d bought her parents and forgotten to give them.

“Alcohol?”

“Alcohol works,” Annie agreed immediately, then stiffened and turned to Jeff. “Are you okay with that?”

Jeff waved his hand dismissively. “I’ll just have half a glass.”

“Where do you keep your fancy glasses?” Britta asked, going to the kitchen to find a corkscrew and the wine glasses.

“There’s three in the cupboard above the sink then the fourth is in the right corner next to the fridge.”

Britta went up on her tip-toes to reach the three wine glasses sitting in the cupboard above the sink, then frowned when she went to the other cupboard.

“Wrong one,” Jeff called out, then blew on his drying fingernails.

“This one?”

Annie giggled when Britta leaned down to open the cabinet in question, and looked around in confusion.

“Guys, I can’t find a wine glass in here,” Britta said, turning back around to glance at her amused roommates. “It’s not funny!” She looked back in the cupboard. “Are you sure there’s another glass in here?”

“Yeah.”

Abed got to his feet to find it for Britta, leaving just Annie and Jeff on the couch.

As soon as they had some privacy, Annie very quietly said, “Thanks, Jeff.”

“For what?” Jeff asked. “You’re the one who painted my fingernails so well.”

Annie bit her lip and ducked her head. “For helping.”

Jeff shrugged. “This is mostly Abed.”

“Still.” Annie gave him a lopsided smile. “Thanks.”

Jeff smiled back at her.

A few seconds later, Abed emerged triumphantly from the kitchen clutching a wine glass that was coated in a thick layer of dust, clutched in the palm of his hand with his fingers straight out so he wouldn’t chip his still-drying nail varnish.

“Britta wants to join in the girls’ night,” he said. “I vote yes.”

“Me too,” Annie nodded firmly.

Jeff just shrugged. “Sure.”

Grinning, Britta grabbed the bottle of wine and three remaining glasses, and moved to squeeze onto the couch.

* * *

Intro to Recycled Cinema

After everyone had gone home and the movie had been scrapped, Jeff stood in the kitchen of 303 making a glass of special drink for his upset boyfriend.

Abed was wrapped in a blanket on the couch, his eyes fixed on the TV; _The Breakfast Club_ had been playing on it for the last hour, from as soon as they got home.

The others weren’t there – Annie had said goodnight when they’d got in the door, and Britta had had to pick up a coworker’s shift at her bar.

“Do you want to talk about _Captain Starr_?” Jeff asked as he left the kitchen, padding across the living room to hand Abed he glass of special drink before retaking his usual spot on the couch.

“I don’t like it,” Abed said after taking a sip of the drink. “My movie is a piece of crap. I liked it when you told everyone to take it more seriously, but no one even paid attention.”

Jeff listened without saying anything, then nodded. “I’m sorry we put you through that, it was shitty of us, and of me. We could’ve stayed a bit later, worked a bit harder. Just generally cared a bit more.”

“You all could have,” Abed agreed, then hesitated before adding, “I’ve been asked for an interview.”

Jeff’s eyebrows shot up, the beginnings of a smile forming on his face. “For that video game TV show?”

“Yeah.” Abed’s fingers were tapping out a rhythm on his glass. “In LA.”

Jeff grinned, wide and proud. “Of course they invited you for an interview, they’d have to be idiots not to see your genius.” He leant forward to press and kiss to Abed’s forehead. “I’m very proud of you.”

“I’ll be going to LA next weekend,” Abed said, “and we need to revisit our talk. Remember the one we had before I applied?”

“We do.” Jeff nodded. His face didn’t fall, exactly, but instead morphed into something softer. “I don’t think eleven thirty at night is the time for that. Tomorrow morning?”

“Sure,” Abed said. “Tomorrow morning sounds good.”

* * *

Grifting 101

When Jeff woke up, Abed was, unusually, already sitting up in bed with his laptop screen lighting up the delighted expression on his face.

“Troy emailed,” Abed said the moment he saw that Jeff was awake.

Immediately sitting up, Jeff wiped his eyes and leaned closer. “He’s finally somewhere with wifi?”

“Sri Lanka,” Abed answered, his eyes drinking in every word. “He’s going to all the places that _Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom_ was shot.”

Jeff couldn’t hide his smile. “Are there any photos?”

Instead of replying, Abed just clicked on one of the other tabs open on his laptop to show Jeff the single photo attached: Troy grinning in front of a section of leafy forest with no distinguishing features.

“He looks happy,” Jeff said softly, a smile on his face.

“The wifi only let him send one photo,” Abed said, clicking back to the email. “He’s going to show me the rest when he gets home. LeVar filled up an entire memory card taking photos of India and Sri Lanka alone.”

“I’m glad he’s having a good time,” Jeff said.

Abed’s face fell into a frown then, his brow pinching. “I don’t know why he’s in Sri Lanka.”

Stiffening the slightest bit, Jeff casually asked, “What do you mean?”

“He was supposed to have left Sri Lanka and already be in Australia,” Abed said. “The route plan I made says so.”

“Did the route plan account for Troy and LeVar filling up an entire memory card over the course of a week or two?” Jeff asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Almost,” Abed replied. “Slightly less, but the difference wouldn’t be a month.”

“You know Troy,” Jeff said, more gently this time. “He’ll have taken that many photos in every place he went to, or have gotten distracted by something fascinating. He’ll be back by August, like he promised.”

Abed considered his boyfriend’s words for a moment, then nodded. “Okay.”

“If he isn’t, I’ll be writing him an email,” Jeff added jokingly.

“But you have been emailing him.”

The words weren’t an accusation, just a slightly confused statement, so Jeff reacted in kind.

“Yeah,” he said, “I have. Did you see my emails, then?”

Abed shrugged. “I’ve been taking my time with the leaked emails, and I saw an article that had a comment about the number of emails you’ve sent to Troy.”

“I have sent him a few, haven’t I,” Jeff chuckled to himself, then rested his hand on Abed’s to address him. “Troy’s been worried about you, and also wants updates on Greendale.”

“Okay,” Abed said. “If you say that he’ll be back by August, I believe you.”

Jeff smiled, then leaned up to give Abed a soft kiss; Abed returned it eagerly. After a moment, Jeff pulled back. “He’ll be back.”

* * *

Basic RV Repair and Palmistry

“How long did you say it was until the tow truck could get here?” Annie asked for third time, curled up under her blanket. At some point, she’d given Britta the very corner of it – likely to shut her up, after the third time Britta had tried to appeal to their ‘special roommate bond’.

“They should be here by seven tomorrow morning,” Frankie answered, again. She’d pressed herself against the wall, the blanket to wattage ratio meaning she was only half-covered by her small blanket.

Jeff groaned, letting his head flop back against the wall. Next to him, Abed unconsciously burrowed even further into his side, hair messy with sleep. “I just realized that we’re missing the premiere of the new _Bloodlines of Conquest_ season.”

“I thought you hated that show,” the Dean said, sounding confused.

“I can watch things I hate,” Jeff scoffed.

Britta rolled her eyes and said, “He watches it because Abed watches it, dummy.”

“Yeah,” Annie said, like it was obvious. “It’s _adorable_.”

While Jeff appreciated the sentiment, to a degree, Annie’s tone was wrong for the words she was using it to say. Before he could comment, though, his phone buzzed with an incoming message. As he reached down to pull it out of his pocket, Abed pressed closer.

“He’s like a cat,” Frankie whispered to Annie, who nodded with her ‘that’s-adorable’ face on full display.

Jeff ignored them, instead checking what the message said; receiving a message at one in the morning was unusual for him.

It was Shirley, asking to reschedule their weekly call. His fingers darted over the keyboard to type a quick response.

“Shirley’s okay?” Abed’s sleepy voice suddenly asked, his eyes just peeking over the top of the blanket. Jeff, who had felt his boyfriend shift against him a moment before, wasn’t surprised, but half of the rest of the committee jumped at the noise from someone they had thought was asleep.

“She’s fine,” Jeff murmured back, then ducked his head to press a gentle kiss to the top of Abed’s head. “Just postponing our call, her dad’s back in hospital.”

Abed vaguely nodded and let his eyes slide shut again.

* * *

Modern Espionage

Jeff would like to be able to say that he knew what was going to happen the second Chang pulled out his golden gun; he’d like to be able to say that he knew just how fast events were going to deteriorate into a game of paintball.

Unfortunately, his brain didn’t fully connect the dots until he’d already shot one student and was diving across the table to shoot three more.

It was only once he’d slammed the second door shut that he spun to look at his boyfriend and incredulously ask, “How long have you been carrying that gun?!”

Abed stared at him for a moment, expression unchanging, then answered, “A week and a half.”

“You’ve been carrying a paintball gun for _a week and a half_ and I haven’t noticed?”

“Yep.” Abed nodded. “I’m pretty concerned actually. We’ve had sex—” everyone else groaned and looked away “—that started when I had my gun in my holster, but I still managed to keep it out of sight.”

Annie looked startled. “You have a holster for your gun?”

“Jeff got it for me after paintball in season two. He said that I—” Abed cut himself off when Jeff urgently shook his head.

“You guys have played paintball before?” Elroy asked, his gun lowering. “Like, as seriously as we are now?”

“Played it?” Annie scoffed. “I beat everyone else’s _asses_.”

“ _We_ beat everyone else’s asses,” Britta disagreed, and Jeff knew that _this_ was about to devolve into an unnecessarily long-winded argument so he slammed one of his hands down on the table.

Everyone fell silent.

“Frankie is going to be here in about thirty seconds,” he said, “and she is going to be upset if she finds us playing paintball. So what are we not going to be doing?”

Before the rest of the committee could respond, Annie hissed out, “ _Frankie alert_ ,” just before the door opened.

In the blink of an eye, Abed had stepped forward and put his hand to the back of Jeff’s neck and was pulling him down into a heated kiss; Jeff’s hands instinctively settled on Abed’s waist as he relaxed into the kiss, and the gun disappeared back into Abed’s hidden holster, and there was a faint shocked noise in the background, but all Jeff could feel and see and smell was Abed.

After a good while, Abed eventually pulled back – but only inch. Jeff let himself catch his breath, then closed his mouth, then opened his eyes to find Abed still gazing up at him.

“Kiss to keep attention away,” Abed whispered.

“Haven’t we already done something similar?” Jeff whispered back. “Remember that kiss in the supply closet during our _M*A*S*H_ homage?”

The faintest smile curled on Abed’s lips for a moment, before he said, “It works twice,” at a more normal volume, and then he turned to the others.

The two newer members were pointedly looking away, shock scrawled across their faces; the two older ones were just looking embarrassed.

“Sorry about that,” Jeff said, thinking on his feet, “but we wanted to do the ‘caught kissing’ trope.”

“Weren’t the other three already here?” Frankie spoke slowly, like she was trying to figure something out.

“I didn’t say it was perfect,” Abed said. His voice rose ever so slightly in pitch, enough that it was clear to Jeff that he was playing a character.

Britta’s fake laugh had improved considerably since the last time Jeff had heard it, and Frankie almost looked convinced. “You just wanted an excuse to kiss your boyfriend!”

“Heh.” Abed held his hands up in mock surrender. “Guilty as charged!”

Annie went along with the deception with the ease of someone who had been part of countless deceptions over the last six years, and giggled. Elroy looked confused as hell.

“Well, I heard that you were playing paintball, Jeff,” Frankie said, “but you, uh—” she flushed “—didn’t look to be in that position.”

Jeff chuckled. “Yeah. Once again, sorry about that.”

“No, I’m just, uh, _not used_ to you and Abed being so…” Frankie trailed off, wracking her brain for an appropriate word as she vaguely gestured towards them.

“Passionate?” Annie suggested.

“Passionate works.”

“Jeff isn’t a huge fan of PDA,” Abed explained with a shrug, “so we aren’t normally too affectionate in front of other people.”

“I’d, uh, rather get some warning next time,” Frankie said, “but I need to be getting back to work.”

Everyone nodded and gave her big smiles as she turned to leave, and the second the door had shut behind her, the guns were yanked out from their hiding places and the standoff resumed.

“Can you _stop doing that_?”

Abed was undeniably handsome in his suit; Annie could admit that easily now that she was secure in her own sexuality.

“Jeff keeps staring at you,” she murmured to Abed, as he spun her across the dance floor.

“He does,” Abed agreed, looking smug about that fact.

“Are you…sure you don’t want to be dancing with him?” Annie raised an eyebrow as she glanced around Abed, to where Jeff was now standing and talking to Frankie.

Abed shrugged. “Later.”

Annie just nodded, and they danced for a while longer, keeping a look out for any paintball players. As Abed dipped Annie for the second time, though, she caught sight of someone she didn’t exactly want to see.

“Shit,” she swore, pulling up and spinning Abed around.

“What is it?” he asked, instantly alert.

“Rachel’s here,” she hissed, going up on her tiptoes to peek over Abed’s shoulder for a second before ducking back down when her ex glanced in their direction.

Abed’s eyes grew wide. “That’s not good. Do you want to leave? I can explain it to Jeff.”

Taking a shaky breath in, Annie said, “No, no. It’s been a month. I can—I can deal with this.”

“You can deal with this,” Abed repeated, nodding in a manner he hoped was encouraging.

“She’s just my ex.”

“She’s just your ex.”

“I’ve had exes before.”

“You’ve had exes before.” Abed hesitated for a fraction of a second before adding, “Like Vaughn.”

“Exactly!” Annie then grimaced. “But never a girl. I don’t—Rachel was my first girlfriend. Is it different with girls? Are things different when you’re a lesbian? I don’t know. I feel like I should know this.”

Abed patted her back, guiding them off the dance floor and to one side, where they would be less obvious to Rachel, and have a little more privacy. “Don’t panic.”

“I’m not panicking,” Annie said, her breathing speeding up. “Who’s panicking? Not me! I’m just…seeing Rachel again.” She tried a weak and unconvincing smile. “Just seeing Rachel again.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Where is she?” Annie hissed, glancing to the sides. “Is she still behind you?”

Abed refrained from pointing out that if Rachel were behind him, he wouldn’t be able to see her, and instead whispered back, “No. She’s heading towards the door, behind _you_.”

Annie swore again, and spun Abed around so he was once again between her and her ex-girlfriend.

“Now?”

Craning his neck to look behind him, Abed peered through the crowd before turning back to Annie. “She’s gone.”

Annie sagged against his chest; relief was written in every line of her body. “ _Phew_.”

They stayed like that for a while, Abed’s arms around Annie while she tried to catch her breath, before she was ready to return to the dance floor.

“Don’t come onto a taken man, Edison,” someone suddenly called out from behind them, and Annie visibly bristled as she turned around to face the human being in question. They flinched back at the force of her glare.

“I’m a lesbian.”

“She’s a lesbian,” Abed agreed with a full-body nod.

“I am _not_ trying to fuck my friend.” Annie spat the words with such vitriol that the offending party hurried away, leaving the two of them in relative peace.

Abed opened and closed his mouth a few times before he asked, “How often do people say things like that to you?”

“Less often than you’re thinking,” Annie said. “And I know that you can’t say anything, because people used to say similar things to you about your sexuality.”

Abed shrugged. “I’ve never cared what people think of me. You do care.”

“Yeah,” Annie said more quietly. “I do. Most people are decent human beings; it’s just the odd few who don’t think I’m a lesbian because I’m ‘too pretty’ or because I used to date Vaughn, or because I acted like I had a crush on Jeff for a year or two.”

Abed nodded. “Some people used to say that the women I slept with were only an attempt to cover up the fact I’m gay.”

“The women you slept with?” Annie’s face scrunched up. “What?”

“I used to have sex with a lot of people,” Abed said casually. “When I lived in the dorms.”

“ _What_.”

Later that night, after Abed had explained what he got up to in the dorms and paintball was over and Jeff and Abed had gotten their dance, the couple curled up on the couch in front of the television with one of the original _James Bond_ movies blaring.

* * *

Wedding Videography

It was on a seemingly random Saturday afternoon that Jeff leant in the doorway of his and Abed’s bedroom and said, “I have a surprise for you.”

Looking up from his laptop, Abed’s brow furrowed with his confusion. “You do?”

“Yeah. I do. It’s going to be arriving in a few minutes, so I wanted to give you a heads-up.”

“What’s the surprise?” Abed asked as he closed his laptop and set it to one side so he could get up and out of bed.

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise,” Jeff pointed out as he backed out into the living room. Abed followed him.

There was a moment’s pause as Abed looked around the room, and then he said, “Nothing’s changed.”

“Not yet it hasn’t,” Jeff agreed, checking the time on his phone. “But…any minute now…”

A minute went by without anything happening, and then, very suddenly, the doorbell rang.

Jeff looked weird, his face flashing through a dozen different emotion before finally settling on excited. “Do you want to go and get that?”

Abed blinked, tilting his head to one side. “Sure.”

Crossing the apartment only took a few seconds, and when Abed reached the door he unlatched it, and then opened it to find—

Troy.

Jeff watched Abed freeze, his eyes huge and his lips slightly parted, when he found Troy at their front door.

Troy looked different. He hadn’t grown, perse, but _matured_ seemed to fit. In the year and a half since he’d left, Troy’s hair had grown longer and he now sported a beard. His clothes were more battered looking, but also nicer. A bag – the bag he’d owned for years – was slung across his chest.

“Hey, Abed,” Troy said softly, and it sounded the exact same.

Abed surged forward, wrapping his arms around Troy, who squeezed back just as hard. Neither of them could see each other’s faces, but from where Jeff was standing, Troy’s face was glistening with tears.

“Troy,” Abed choked out, still holding his best friend tightly, “you’re home.”

“Yeah, buddy,” Troy said. “I am.” He didn’t quite sound like he believed it himself. “I’m _home_.”

Abed took a shaky breath, and then pulled back to hold Troy at an arm’s length. He studied the other man. “I thought you were in Australia right now.”

“Well, I was.” Looking a little nervous now, Troy glanced at Jeff for a brief second. “I backdated my emails slightly – just a few weeks – because I wanted to surprise you.”

“Jeff knew,” Abed said, a little abruptly, and twisted around to give Jeff an indecipherable look.

“I asked him to keep it a secret,” Troy said. “I didn’t want to tell you I’d be home at some time, then be late.”

Abed considered it for a moment, then nodded. “Okay. I forgive you.”

“Thanks,” Jeff said, huffing a laugh as he moved into the kitchen. The salmon he’d put in the oven ten minutes before was smelling good, and he checked on it before starting on the dishes – giving Abed and Troy some privacy to reunite properly.

Jeff worked methodically, scrubbing each plate and pan clean in turn and then cleaning and then putting them away, humming to himself so as to block out Abed and Troy’s conversation.

After a while, when Jeff was halfway through the dishes, Troy came further into the apartment and stopped on the other side of the breakfast bar, so he was looking directly at Jeff.

“Hey, man. It’s good to see you.”

Jeff smiled back at Troy. “It’s good to see you too. How does it feel to be back?”

“So…so weird,” Troy said, shaking his head as he pulled one of the stools out to take a seat. “I drove through town, and it was both the same it wasn’t?” He glanced around the apartment. “It’s the same here. Like, when did the blanket fort come down? Did we _always_ have that much space?”

Jeff chuckled, setting a plate on the drying rack and starting on the next. “Yeah, I guess things have changed. Seeing all of them at once must make it much more obvious.”

“For the record, we did always have this much space,” Abed interjected, settling in the seat next to Troy. He didn’t take his eyes off the other man for a second, and if Jeff knew his boyfriend at all, he knew it was because Abed was scared Troy was going to disappear between one second and the next.

“We did?” Troy scrunched his face up. “I can barely remember that summer before Annie moved in.”

Abed nodded, something sad flickering in his eyes for a moment. “Yep.”

“Do you want anything to drink?” Jeff asked Troy, taking the attention off Abed for a moment. “You’ve travelled a long way.”

Troy shrugged. “I’m used to it.”

“I bet,” Jeff said, huffing a laugh under his breath. “Does water sound good? We also have orange juice, and the ingredients for special drink. Or alcohol, I guess.”

“Ooh, orange juice please,” Troy said, his face lighting up. “I can get it,” he added when Jeff raised his hands to wipe the soap off on his shirt.

“You’ve only just got home,” Jeff said.

Troy leapt to his feet anyway, darting to the fridge and pulling out one of the juice boxes; by the time he returned to his seat, he’d been gone for only five seconds. Jeff didn’t miss the way that Abed’s eyes tracked him the entire way.

“There wasn’t any alcohol in the fridge,” Troy said once he’d stuck the straw into the juice box and taken a long slurp.

Jeff tensed slightly, then forced himself to relax. “No. We—” he gestured between him and Abed “—have been trying to cut down my drinking. I barely ever do it anymore, and Annie isn’t exactly buying lots either. Britta gets everything she wants at her work.”

“You’re cutting down on your drinking?” Troy’s earlier grin widened. “That’s great!”

“He’s doing well,” Abed added, speaking for the first time in a while. “I’m proud.”

“Awesome!”

Abed glanced at Jeff, his expression shifting. “Where are the others?”

“Annie’s taking Britta grocery shopping,” Jeff answered. “Apparently Britta is a grown woman and should know where to buy vegetables by this point.”

Troy laughed. “Britta still doesn’t eat vegetables?”

“Only very occasionally,” Jeff said.

“Oh!” Troy suddenly exclaimed, his eyes widening as he reached for the little collection of pride flags that had expanded by one since he last saw it. “I want to know _everything_ about Annie’s girlfriend.”

Jeff grinned, enjoying his friend’s enthusiasm. “Rachel. Don’t ask Annie about her, she’s still upset.”

“Rachel was nice,” Abed said, “until she hurt Annie.” He frowned. “No one gets to hurt our Annie.”

“You probably met her at some point,” Jeff told Troy. “She’s also a student at Greendale – she ran the coat-check at the dances in our third and fourth year.”

“Huh,” Troy said, wracking his brain. “I don’t think I remember?”

“Understandable,” Jeff shrugged. “Remember: don’t talk about Rachel with Annie unless she brings her up first.”

Troy nodded. “Okay. Any other topics to avoid?”

“I can’t think of any,” Jeff said, but looked to Abed anyway.

Abed relaxed minutely, something settling in his face. “I’ll give you the list.”

* * *

Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television

“I can’t believe you’re leaving,” Britta said, her eyes full of tears as she looked up at Jeff. “We-we were supposed to be the ones who stayed.”

Jeff gave her – the woman he had once started everything for – a soft smile. “I’m not gone for good. Phones do exist, you know.”

Britta smacked him, on his arms, and Jeff chuckled as her face screwed up with annoyance. “I know _that_ , idiot.”

“You sure about that?”

When Britta stuck her tongue out at him, Jeff couldn’t help but return the gesture.

“I will miss you,” he said abruptly, a moment later. “LA is…not Colorado.”

Britta’s laugh was gentle. “No, it’s not. You’re going to do great there, I bet.”

“Abed’s going to do even better,” Jeff said. “I am an old, old man who has never left his home state before.”

“I think you’ll surprise yourself,” Britta told him. “Besides, I’ll be visiting soon anyway. Got to mess up your fancy new apartment, don’t I?”

Jeff grinned. “I think Troy forgot just how bad sharing an apartment is when he offered to share with me and Abed again.”

Her face falling slightly, Britta said, “I think he’s lived on a boat for a year and a half, and he needs to feel close to Abed again,” in a more subdued voice.

“I think,” Jeff said quietly, “that you are right. However, if I get a nice apartment out of that, I’m cool with it,” he joked, laughing again when Britta smacked him again.

They stood there, outside their shared apartment, for a moment.

“How long are those three going to take?” Britta groaned, but Jeff knew she wasn’t serious.

“I’m going to miss Annie,” he said. “She’s…we’ve grown close.”

Britta raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re not going to miss me?”

“You? Oh, god, no. I am _so_ happy to finally be getting away from you.” Jeff grinned at Britta’s sour expression. “I just stuck around for the others. You, _you_ , were a permanent fixture. Hanging around like a bad smell.”

Britta started to laugh, and Jeff joined in.

“Seriously, I will miss you,” he continued, more serious this time. “We need to schedule something regular. Like Shirley and my weekly phone calls.”

Britta pulled a face. “I don’t know. I’m not great at that regular shit. We’ll figure something out.”

“I’m sure that our rich friend can sort something out if we need him to,” Jeff joked, and Britta chuckled again.

“Yeah.”

They shared another smile, just as the door opened behind them and Annie walked out, followed by Abed and Troy.

“What are you two laughing about?” Annie asked, sounding a little suspicious.

“Nothing important,” Britta reassured her. “Just how much Jeff is going to miss us all.”

Annie gave her a look. “You were _talking_ about that? Yeah, right.”

“I was,” Jeff said simply. “We were.” He stepped closer to rest his hands on Annie’s shoulders. “I’m going to miss you so much. You are one of the truest friends I’ve ever had, and it’s going to be weird to have you all the way in DC while I’m in California.”

A deer-in-headlights look on her face, like she hadn’t expected her teasing to get an honest response, Annie said, “Cool.”

“Oh, _wow_ ,” Jeff said, over-dramatic on purpose. “I confess my love for you and the only thing you can say is ‘Cool’?”

Annie giggled, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. “I love you too, Jeff.”

The rest of the goodbyes were mostly done, so it wasn’t long before Jeff was climbing into his Lexus with Abed and Troy in the backseat and driving away from the only home he had ever known.

Somehow, it didn’t feel as bleak as he thought it would. Because, even when he wasn’t getting a daily confirmation, he knew that he had people who had loved him. And he loved them back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...yeah. It's finished. I can't say I'm delighted with how this turned out, but it was really hard to write the ending. I might get around to doing an epilogue at some point, but I'm marking it as finished for the moment.  
> Thank you to everyone who's read this!


End file.
